(no subject)
I really detest the idea of turning to people for answers...more so when I have no response. I give up : /
My confusion and realizations are driving me insane. I wish I could just ditch the internet for awhile but the boredom would be worse then the conflictions. I want to figure all this out, but only if it means I don't have to accept any of it as truth. I don't want to deal with such feelings, I doubt they'd be useful. I don't want to put myself out in the open like that.
It sickens me, these thoughts I have. It has infected my health and I feel my logic is meaningless. I shouldn't have to ponder over something like this, the asnwer should be simple. I am looking forward to a certain time in the future with such hope...it won't quite feel like myself if it happened but I'd feel relieved to do so regardless. I fear that the hope is already crushing me...what would I do if I had to actually face this issue?
I fear this feeling more then anything I think. I crave it but don't want to approach it. I have a problem with deluding myself in this area at times and I paid the price. Why can't I ignore it like everything else?
I should really write this shit down instead of bawwwing all over the internet.
My confusion and realizations are driving me insane. I wish I could just ditch the internet for awhile but the boredom would be worse then the conflictions. I want to figure all this out, but only if it means I don't have to accept any of it as truth. I don't want to deal with such feelings, I doubt they'd be useful. I don't want to put myself out in the open like that.
It sickens me, these thoughts I have. It has infected my health and I feel my logic is meaningless. I shouldn't have to ponder over something like this, the asnwer should be simple. I am looking forward to a certain time in the future with such hope...it won't quite feel like myself if it happened but I'd feel relieved to do so regardless. I fear that the hope is already crushing me...what would I do if I had to actually face this issue?
I fear this feeling more then anything I think. I crave it but don't want to approach it. I have a problem with deluding myself in this area at times and I paid the price. Why can't I ignore it like everything else?
I should really write this shit down instead of bawwwing all over the internet.