Teen Wolf

103 Pack Mentality

I love you Stiles. You’re the best Robin, and attractive to gay men.

All werewolves carry around Easy Bake ovens so they don’t have to eat their victims raw.

Apparently popping a chub helps 17 year old boys bowl better..I would think it would make things more difficult (see how I kept it classy and didn’t say make it harder?)

The main characters mom continues to be the best female character on the show. And why does this family attack everyone with baseball bats when the only sport played by a family member is Lacrosse?

“I’ve done plenty of sucking for his benefit” - bitchy popular girl.
Bitchy popular girl you may have redeemed yourself in my eyes. Carry on.

New girl with douchey dad who was on Stargate-you’re on notice. Be more interesting. (Hi Martouf!)

Martin from 7th Heaven werewolf-I am still ambivalent, but you’re hot, so I’m giving you a pass this episode.

Why can’t I quit you show?!



104 The Magic Bullet

Martouf! You’re so pretty-and you make a great mean dad. I would prefer whiskey to tequila though. Hook me up.

Hot wolf from 7th Heaven-you have officially won the 'Dean Winchester hot while sick award'. Your celebratory hoodie is in the mail. I will have to ask that you be nicer to Stiles-he’s the only character whose name I can (be bothered to) remember, and that should count for something, damn it!

New Girl, I think you went and developed an iota of personality when I wasn’t looking! Four for you new girl!

New girls aunt-I know you from somewhere and I can’t remember where exactly and IT’S DRIVING ME MAD!! I know you from Blade the series!! and SGA! Also learn to fucking drive. Jesus Murphy lady.

Suspicious jock guy- we get it, you’re suspicious. I feel bad criticizing you because by all accounts your actor seems like a great guy IRL. Still, little too one note, maybe start collecting stamps or making models of English castles or something.

If werewolfism is a metaphor for getting your period this show is both hilarious, traumatizing and hot werewolf from 7th Heaven had an accident in the school hallway. How embarrassing.

If one more kid with a car had honked during the parking lot scene I’d have slipped into the darkness and taken a human life! Jesus Murphy!

And thanks for the nightmares about arm amputations, guys!



105 The Tell

I'm starting to think Alpha wolf hates blue collar workers. Bus drivers, movie store schmucks. I think he's someone rich.

Lydia is that your name? Bitchy popular girl? Yeah, I'm shipping you with Stiles now.

Oh hunter aunt, every time I start to like you, I start to hate you again. (And way to bring on the lady hate Tumblr, keep it classy)

Don't lick it! He's been rolling all around the filthy floor, and he's probably sweaty and covered in germs. Also, he's hot off of 7th Heaven-he'll spend your premarital, post coital haze talking about Jesus.

Is that tattoo real? In related thoughts, need more shirtless Derek.

Yeah! I'm starting to remember names!

"Needs an authority figure" teacher- you need to get eaten before my raised by a single mom ass puts it's boot so far up your butt it sees daylight again.

So...vet's the Alpha then? Way to go all whipping boy on that poor mountain lion, you dick.




106 Heart Monitor
-the car alarm thing was pretty cool. If I’m ever being chased by a monster with super hearing I’m stealing that move.

-Dear God! Stiles is the voice of feminist reason on this show?! Hooya Spartans reference though.

-Well, that’s a fun new well of nightmare material


-Suspicious jock who is suspicious (that’s his name, alright?) is really starting to creep me the fuck out.


-Awwww, the hand holding. That’s actually cute. You’ve touched me through my cynics armour. Go you, Teen Wolf.

-I’m wondering if the burned uncle is the Alpha and the vet is a red herring? Hmmmm?

-Did you just kill 7thHeaven werewolf? You fucks.

and random, but the real life werewolf thingy from France

and for no reason except that I like it...





107 Nightschool (possile spoilers for unaired episodes)
-While still pretty good, this was the weakest episode to date.

-I am officially a registered crew member on the good ships Lydia/Stiles, and 'Suspicous Jock who is suspicious'/'New Girl who has no personality'. Uh, Teen Wolf can have a bromance with 7th Heaven Werewolf.

-I've learned half the characters names! Go me.

-So apparently the Alpha's one suave CSI watching motherfucker. Damn. (that's a bad damn. I expect realism in my teenage monster in highschool stories).

-Fuck Yeah Stiles! Is that a tumblr yet?

-Tyler Posey has a nice butt. Well, he does.

-New Girl with out a personality needs to learn to STFU when being stalked by a killing machine with super hearing. Jesus Murphy! these punk kids are loud. In my day we watched enough horror movies to have sense.

-Really not too much happened, although good job being scary! Good for you show.


and *spoiler*



I've heard that there is more than one Alpha, and we've seen both onscreen already. My guess is vet is the good Alpha, and the creepy ass teacher is the bad Alpha. Or possibly one of 7th Heaven werewolf's kin is the bad Alpha.

Oh, and Derek is still alive. I saw some behind the scenes shots of him in bondage that haven't aired yet.



Discussion strongly encouraged.