In Defense: My Side



I have a love/hate relationship with texting. I had my first phone when I was in the 6th grade. Being a first time texter, I would text my friends, "Wru?", "Wud?" and "Ctt?" just to try texting. And when they replied, I happily typed a response in my Nokia 3210. Because it was fun. New.

Over the years, I didn't pressing keypads anymore. It became a chore. I didn't even like using my phone anymore. I didn't care if I have the latest model or what-not because I don't even use it anymore.

 I realized that I have to explain to people why I don't reply because some are already asking if I still have a phone or not.

My explanation is:

1. I'm sorry I don't reply.

2. I admit to not reading group messages. Just the important ones, academic-related chuvaness. 

3. The quotes, verses, encouragement... I read them. Thank you for them. :) Even though I know you send it to everyone in your phonebook, it still strikes me that it's timely with I am feeling at the moment. 

4. I'm sorry if I reply a day or even a week later, it's because I don't like being interrupted when I do something so I tend to forward the text to the outbox so I could reply when I'm free. (And when it's a week later, I may have forgotten it. But when I do remember it, I reply.)

5. Really. I am sorry. Don't take it to heart.

6. I know some get bothered when the people texting them don't put smiley faces. I am one of those. It doesn't mean that I'm not happy you texted or that I'm mad. You asked a question, you texted, so I answered, I replied. (One of the reasons why I don't like texting -- it's unemotional.)

7. It's in Facebook that I update my friends and they update me. I reply at the same day and even right at the moment there. Just not in the chatroom.

8. I don't know what else to say. If you're a Sun user, you know I call when I reply to your texts. For Globe users, I text a week later. Right now, I'm thinking of saving up money to get the Globe Superplan? Is that what they call it? My friend has one and she can call Globe users for free. I hope my mum agrees though. It would really help save time.

9. So yeah. It doesn't mean when I don't reply that I don't care. I care, k? But texting/phone is just not the #1 thing in my life.

10. Just because I don't reply, it doesn't mean I don't read. I read and even if you don't get a response, you'll know I read when I comment or talk to you about it in person. :)

11. I care, okay? I'm not heartless. I'm sorry if I sound it in this blog. Or I sound so mayabang/maarte. I just have to explain my side.

That's it. Had to blog about it when i realized that my inbox was overflowing with unreplied texts and most of them are asking, "what happened to you?", "how are you?", " is this tia's number still?".

That's it, loves.

Bottomline: I care!

Muchos amor mi amigos y amigas especialmente mis mejores amigos!

This Journal Will Change Your Life 2010

 

2010 was a roller coaster year consisting of downhill dives and then a slow rise with inversions that turn the rider (me) briefly upside down and then up again. 2010 was a year of firsts. My first disappointment, heartbreak, and it was also the first time I felt my optimism and faith slip. But God has been so faithful and He has restored me. He humbled me so that I can look to Him only.
This is a look on my 2010 with the help of my planner aptly titled, This Journal Will Change Your Life.
 



The 31st of December ended with my 20th birthday and with a journal entry titled "BLESSED". I went back to Manila with the end in mind and my usual happy self. I began 2010 with the annual 7 day fast in the church. I learnt about wisdom and I fasted for it. 

Below is my mission statement for the year 2010 after the fast:


(Below) The week I fasted from January 11-17. My journal was a mess because of all the requirements for my last year in college but despite the one meal a day fast, God sustained me. 




(Below): January and February were the horror months. It was the last month for thesis making and the wait for med school applications began.
 


(Below): It was the day I found out that my school didn't accept me for med school. I didn't know it then but it was no wonder my classmates could not look me in the eye. But I thank God for the people who told me to fight for it because I deserve to be in. I thank God that I have people who believe in me. I remember smiling at my friends and saying it was okay. I also remember the ride on the way home. I was silent and in shock. In denial. I went straight from the lobby to the elvator and didn't even greet our guard. The moment I closed the door behind me in the condo, my composure slipped and I just wept. I called my parents and just cried my heart out. It hurt -- a lot. 

 


A week later (below) was thesis defense day (D-DAY). It went badly. 
 


(Below): No wonder I hate Thursdays. A week later, I was with my classmates waiting for Room 323 to open for our Spanish class. I was in the hallway when I received my mom's text that my lola died. I just broke down in the hallway. My mom was in Manila that time and we all went home for the funeral. 

After the funeral, my siblings and I flew back to Manila the same day. I remember being relieved that I won't have to stay at our house because it felt really empty. I was 8 years old when my lola moved in with her caregivers and nurses. I was used to having a full house and when she died, it was my parents and nanay at home. I used to hang out in her room to watch teleseryes with her nurses/caregivers. Her nurses/caregivers were like family to me. They were with us for 12 years! And when lola died, they had to go too. 
 


February was a month of soul searching. I was so lost and angry at myself. I know that I could not get angry at my God but I dared to. I read the Bible looking for answers. I was looking for answers everywhere. I did not know what to do. Below was a verse in Esther that I wrote in my journal in one of my search for answers. I so wanted to be comforted by it. And I wanted to believe this so much: "God is at work even if we don't feel it." 
 


 

A month later (below), our dog died. Aslan was our beloved labrador retriever. He was already with a dextrose for a week and we fought so hard to keep him alive to the point of changing doctors who would keep him on dextrose. I miss him so much. I still do. 




Graduation day (below) was a bittersweet experience. I didn't want to grow old. I didn't want to say goodbye to my classmates and my school and Manila. 

 


(Below) is a first quarter assessment in the journal. Here's what I wrote for the first quarter of 2010.

 


Despite all the negatives, God granted my wish to go abroad with my whole family. We don't usually go together, we go by ourselves or by twos. So it's a first for us to ride a plane together. I remember asking God for this and  writing it in an old journal that I wanted to vacation with my family before I turn 20. Well it didn't happen before but it did happen while I was 20. Thank you God for the the 2 week break in two countries. It was also when we arrived that I called UE and they told me that I got in their med school. It was rash decision which I still don't know if I regret or not, but I decided to go home.



A week later (below), I went to Bohol with my UST barkada. We paid for it with our own "paluwagan". I was supposed to go earlier, I had the tickets and all but something came up and I had to go later. 

It was my 4th time but it was also my most adventurous one. On the last day, my flight to Cagayan de Oro from Cebu was at 5pm so I had to leave the island early. I had booked a ferry that will take me to Cebu at 10am but since my friends went out early to snorkel, I was left in the hotel. I decided then to go the pier early and reschedule my ferry ride to the 8am one so that I could still enjoy Cebu. So I went to the reception area and asked for a ride to the port.

There was no ride since we were in Panglao, which was very far from the port. I asked for an alternative and some guy offered a motorcycle ride to the port! I didn't know him but he seemed safe so I rode behind his motorcycle! It was my first time ever to ride a motorcycle, ever ever ever.  I didn't know where to hold and all that so that I just grabbed at his shirt. HAHAHAHAHA. It was very awkward. It was around 15 minutes later that I realized I can ride without holding on to him. Hahaha. The ride was around 30 minutes? It was around 6 in the morning. I was praying the whole time that this guy would bring me to the pier safely. And I did arrive in one piece at the pier where I made new friends while waiting for the ferry. After arriving in Cebu pier at around 11am, I looked for a taxi and asked to be taken to Ayala Mall since we used to frequent it when I was younger. I actually enjoyed going around by myself lugging around a huge backpack. At around 3pm, I took a taxi to the airport and that was it.
 


Realizing that my fate was to study in CDO, I prepared for the requirements for school here albeit reluctantly.
 


On my mom's birthday, we all went to Davao for a Gideon's meeting because my parents are officers. It was my first time to taste durian! YUM. Now it's one of my favorite fruits. I had a durian phase last summer where I would drop by this stall near our house just to buy durian. Haha. 

(Below): My parents allowed me to visit my friends in Manila for 3 days. Yay. I also went to my school to get my papers. And my friends surprised me and we went to Enchanted Kingdom! We got soaked riding the Rio Grande Rapids for 5 times! At around 11pm, we were in the bus station in Laguna soaked. Good thing we found a small tiangge which was still open and we bought matching clothes! 
 


May 10 (below) was my first try at voting. It was also the first time the Philippines adopted electronic voting using scantron.
 


(Below): A week before school began, my mum surprised me with tickets to go with her to Manila to drop my sister off. YAY. I got to visit my school and see my friends again.
 


(Below): First day of med school. I got a headache listening to the requirements. Good thing Derek visited me. He was there waiting when I went out of the building. Love you derek! :)
 


(Below): Acquaintance party was where I bonded with Nuebe. We went to the party together and shared a table. Wow! 
 


(Below): The start of many lunches at Penong's with Nuebe. Hahahaha. 
 


July (below) was the month my granny died. She was the one who held the family together, our matriarch. She was the stepmother of my lolo and she was 102 when she died. She was the ultimate lola: generous and loving. Hate that I wasn't able to pay my last respect. My cousin and I weren't able to go to the funeral since we had PCM exam. Rawr. 
 


September (below) and I was still searching for answers. I was still lost.
 


Sembreak, October (below) where I encountered God in an awesome and life-changing retreat. He brought me to my knees and removed all my anger and doubt. He reminded me of His promises. 
 


That's the end of my planner. All blank pages come after.


How was your 2010? :))

Jeremiah 29:11-12 
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."


2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

There is hope in Jesus! :)

 

Bank Opening: December 6, 2010

 
Opening our individual "piggy" (for want of a better term) bank is a ceremonial process in our household. Growing up, my sibs and I all had piggy banks. We had three each and they were literally "pigs". One pig was for our savings, the other was for our tithes and offerings and the third was for our material needs. I don't know how we did it back then but it involved a lot of thinking... which pig deserves this coin? Haha.

I've never not had a piggy bank. Even while I was in Manila, my sister and I each had our own piggy bank. We placed it on our window ledge so that we would see it every time we eat and remember to put in something. Although in college, we already opted to put in 5 and 10 pesos coins only "for more chances of winning", so to speak. :P



Do you see the window ledge? I browsed through my archives to find a picture of our window with the piggy bank. On the left side of the ledge are my old paintings and then Cheska's piggy bank. Mine is behind the curtain and another painting. 


Here's a better one of Cheska's bank and my old painting. I received this rose last Valentine's day and by this time, it was already dead. Haha. Hence, Cheska's label: dead rose. 

Another funny memory, I was going home for Christmas on my second year of college and I wasn't too keen on going to the bank to have my coins exchanged. So I brought with me my whole piggy bank in my handbag. At the x-ray counter at the airport, the guard asked me, "ba't ang dami mong barya?". Haha. And then when my sister went with me to Manila to study, she also did the same. 

In my first year of medicine, I started another piggy bank with a kawayan one I bought at the night cafe on an ukay round for 20 pesos. I liked it because you had to destroy it in order to get the money because I have self-control issues. :P

Today, after 7 months, my dad opened it in the presence of my mom, my grandma and nanay. YAY!



My "piggy bank" with the label: Tia's operation get food in stomach. I placed this on top of our television for months so that my parents could "donate" for my "food".


Another last pose. 



My dad opening it with a hammer. 




Thingamajigs.


And the count begins with my mom at the helm. She's the one who always does this. 



And my dad bought all of it with an agreed amount. Haha. He buys all of our hard earned coins but we discuss first how much he's going to pay. Mwahahah! Thanks papa! 

Another year, another piggy bank. I'll be getting a new one this January! You, too! :)

P.S.

I saw this old picture while I was browsing through my archives. This was when my sister came to live with me in Manila and we were bored. So we went to Toys R' Us and bought ourselves our favorite childhood toy, play dough. And we made this. Hahaha. 


Actually, I made this. My sister made the volcano that was going to kill them with it's mighty lava (not pictured).

I miss you freak! You and kuya! See you soon! :))

My Someday Person




Who are you if you lose your favorite person?
Do you also lose yourself?

He was my "someday" person.


He was elusive.

He was tomorrow.

He was someday.


The car would break down and he would say,
"Someday, we'll be cruising on a vespa."


We would walk on the beach and he would say,
"Someday, I'll build us a house beside the sea."


And to you, my someday person,

let the stars keep track of us.

Wherever you are.

Wherever I am.



The world awaits the day we meet again. 

Someday.

Biochemistry 101

 
 




"I'm not perfect, you know."

"Huh?", he looks up from the newspaper he was reading.

"Just saying I'm not perfect".

"Who says you are?"

"People. Everyone. They think that they can dictate my life and my decisions, just because they saw me grow up or that they know my parents."

"......"

"Whatever. I'm just ranting. Thinking." I look back at my textbook.

"... Wait -- those people? They've got nothing better to do with their lives. You once told me that you only have an audience of One, right? There's the answer."

I don't reply but continue pretending to read my book.

"... And nobody knows you that well. Sometimes I can't even figure you out. There's no specific answer to every question that's you."

 
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Growing up is hard to do



 "All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grown, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old, she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flavor and ran it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, "Oh, why can't you remain like this forever!" This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end."

So begins JM Barrie's Peter Pan and Wendy.  I remember turning 20 last year and being very defensive when people ask how old I am. And whenever people asked, I would still say 19. I mean, who wants to grow old? When I was in Grade 1, I couldn't wait to be Grade 6 so that I could "rule" the grade school. When I was a highschool freshman, I couldn't wait to be a senior so that I could choose a college course. Then when I was a freshman in college, I wanted to be a senior so that I could graduate soon. Now that I'm 20 and a medical student, I feel sooooo old and mature.

I guess I wanted to live in the past again. Tsk. I enjoyed my childhood. I really did even if I was an aloof child who was sometimes an antisocial and lived with her books and imagination most of the time. But I also enjoyed my "barkada" --> Ate Jica, Kuya, Cheska, Chinky, Richmond, Marco, Ate Princess, Ate Lady and Earl.









I remember countless times that we swam in the Te's pool and pushing the plastic slide into the pool (Yes, we wanted to see how it would be to slide underwater. Haha.). I remember the trips we took to Bohol (3 times!), Siargao, Surigao, Dipolog, Impalutao, Koronadal, Lake Sebu and more with our parents. In Bohol, Chinky, Richmond and Cheska had their very own praise and worship in the beach so that they could catch hermits! They sang, "For the Lord is my tower", so that the hermits would come to them! 

I remember a sleepover at Chingky's place when we were around 8 (?). We watched a Babalu movie and during commercials, we would get up from the bed and sing and dance to, "Mag exercise tayo tuwing umaga, tuwing umaga...". Haha. And forming our very own Captain Planet Team. I think my power shape was circle? :P And even 2 years ago, we performed a dance number for our parents on Christmas eve. Wahaha.

I remember joining countless summer camps (every summer!) and crying every time my parents dropped me off. Yes, I was a whiny child but I realized that whining was not negative for me. When I whine, I just want to make "lambing". I still whine, by the way.



Then Stargirl (I read it again!) reminded me,

"You have your whole life ahead of you and all you're doing is looking back. Grow up girl."  -Love, Stargirl''




Even Dexter grew up.


*Sigh*

Yes, I am growing up and I've got to accept it. I am 20 years old. I have a Philhealth insurance card. I have a cedula. I have a tax identification number. I am a registered voter. I have a business permit in my name. I am a member of a cooperative (they just changed my occupation from student to businesswoman, ODB?! haha). I am between worlds. I am a student. But I am also an adult.

Then I am reminded that I can grow up, but not old. 
Photo: http://thresca.tumblr.com

And yes, I am still young. A young adult. 20 is young. :) Thank you God that I am young and already ablaze for you. And one thing wonderful about being this age? I can choose who I want to be.  

I don't know how to end this post. I have no specific climax in mind. I have no tear-rendering ending. Just this verse for all of us from 1 Timothy 4:12.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."



10 Things I Can't Live Without

 
 YEHES! Semestral break has officially begun.

So I am now back on the blogosphere after a hiatus of 3 weeks.

Thank God it's over and thank God because I know He's there for me.

So to start off this post, I'll be joining what the other bloggers are doing:

I'll be posting a list of the 10 things that I can't live without. 

#1

Screenshots/Memories


Pictures in black and white are beautiful. It's like the fusion of the past and the present in a picture. I love seeing white walls with black and white photographs, beautiful, no?

*my desktop*
I love screen capture! I have an entire folder in my desktop dedicated to screenshots, *heart*. Whenever somebody sends me an encouraging email or heartfelt words that just melt my heart, I "screen capture" it directly to and paste it on my folder. And whenever I'm down, I click it open and my heart melts all over again. :) I thank Him for the sweetest things/words that friends can say.

#2

Relationships: Family and friends


my family on Christmas eve. :)



God has blessed me with beautiful relationships. I have a wonderful family who backs me up. And I have friends that never fail to make me laugh. I'm blessed because I have my UST friends, the gurlband, the Bboyz, the Chicklettes, Nuebe, church friends, childhood bestfriends and my college roommates. :) Thank you God!

#3

My macbook: maci



maci's been with me for 3 years now and he has never given up on me aside from the occasional tantrums. One of the reason why I'll never go back to windows is the user-friendliness of the mac. It never lags and with just one wave of your cursor to the right, you can access folder that you've opened. And another wave to left slides the current window aside so that you can view your desktop. It's incredibly easy to use and it has accommodated everything from my writing, my current 4 thousand songs, my pictures and even modules and wisdom for med life. :)

#4

Color and design blogs


Colors are beautiful. I can't imagine my life without it. 60% of my closet is composed of the colors black, white and grey but 2 weeks ago, I bought this floral ORANGE shirt that I would never have worn but am wearing today. Haha. I'm opening up to more colors now and no more being on the safe side. 


i am a perpetual collector/hoarder. i have notebooks that i bought in singapore 6 years ago and have never written on. i have art prints that i bought but have never been hung. my desktop has a folder of "things to do" such as create a literature quote painting and  finish the salon wall in our kitchen. And lately, I've taken to hoarding striped navy and white shirts. I also have a collection of colored ballpens and markers that I rarely use because I like seeing them on my desk. Plus, I have a stack of colored photos that are up for decorating.


design blogs: i read apartmenttherapy,elements of style, apartment #412, la dolce vita and chuvaness. They are wonderful sources of inspiration. :) Another folder on my desktop is "inspirare" for the pictures that I save from the blogs that I like to browse at times when I feel blue and "expired". For the links, ask me! :)


#5

Laughter



one should never be without. :)

#6

MUSIC


As of latest update, I have 4,680 songs in my itunes. Need I say more? Haha. When I get my own place, I want a sound system with speakers in every room in the house with one control center connected to my laptop/ipod. Right now, I bring my laptop to the bathroom with me but I don't like it when I turn on the shower because the spray is louder than my music. Haha.


#7

Relaxing bedroom.


Technically speaking, I don't have a room yet and I'm still sleeping in the living room and my sister's room; so I've been living without it. But I can't wait for the day when it's finished. There have been labor-related problems lately and tomorrow, I'm off with my dad to consult a professional already. But how wonderful when you get home and your room just speaks tranquility right? With natural light from the window and clean lines. Wow!

#8

Books/Literature



i started reading sweet valley and nancy drew books at the age of 7 when my tita brought me to a bookshop that lets you rent their books. :) After that, I became addicted to reading. Hence, the glasses. My biggest wish before was to win a shopping spree in National Bookstore and Odyssey combined. Haha. :) I already had plans on what aisles to aim for. For the books, I wanted all the sweet valley, nancy drew, and hardy boys books while for the cassette tapes, I wanted britney, nsync, christina, backstreet and aaron carter. haha. 

#9

Travel


This is a bit presumptuous because I've only been to 3 countries in my 20 years of life. But what I mean is going out of your comfort zone. Have you been to Siargao? To Bohol? Or even to the nearest beach/mountain in your area? I realized that I've never really been around Mindanao even if I grew up here. I haven't even tried the Initao/Jasaan beach which is just an hour from the city. And I wanna! I've been restricting myself to the familiar and it's time to get out and accept the new.

#10

Jesus


I've saved the best for last because without Him, none of the other stuff matters. Plus, this will never be taken away from me. As the song goes, "there's a cry in each of our heart, for more of you and nothing but you, my Jesus". Yes, I've experience His overwhelming love and forgiveness and this will never be taken away from me. His love is wonderful and it's more than what the world offers because it fills even the hurt and fissures in your heart with gratefulness, hope and love.


 
What about you?
What are you 10 things?
Writing this, it has made me more thankful for the blessings
that I've been given.
Write one and you'll see how blessed you are.
:)


 

Conversations #1 and #2

 
Conversation #1





“You’re thinking again.”, he comments.

“What?!”, I reply incredulously.

“What I mean is that I can see the wheels and cogs turning in your head.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m saying you think too hard. There’s always something about you, you know, it’s like you’re listening to something or someone.”

“I’m not crazy.”

“I’m not saying you are. It’s just that in all the years that I’ve known you, I felt like I could never measure to whomever it is you’re listening to. I look at you and you’re always deep in thought.”

“Is that a good thing? … I mean.. for you?”

“I like you, you know that, even the weird stuff you do.”

Conversation #2


Summer, 2009


Waiting for orders; summer internship




Figaro, 4:31 pm; 09/10/10

"Are you a writer?", he asks, glancing at the thick black notebook on my table.

"Nope. But I write when I'm bored."

"So you are a writer."

"What makes a person a writer?"

"I guess it's when you look around and see stories, stories worth telling -- stories of friends talking in coffee shops, of lovers holding hands, of students discussing a topic, of middle-aged men talking about business. You see stories everything and you can't help but write about it. "

"Yeah. I do that. But I don't write them down."

"You're a writer but you refuse to put effort into writing."

"What should I do then? I'm in med school. I spend about 70% of my time studying"

"Then write. Write about med school, about your teachers, about your classmates, even the people you see around you when you study in coffee shops. Don't stop writing. Write about your God, what He's done for you. Write about things you love. Someday you'll look back and realized that you've filled more than a dozen notebook of stories."

"Maybe I will do that."

"Good. Start with this conversation."






Project 1.0.1.

I am moving on.
No more "what ifs", "what might've been".

Why?

When I came back to CDO last June, 2010.
I felt like crying.
I felt like I was suffocating.

There was a part of me that was happy that I'm home again.
But there was also another part of me that missed my friends, my school and especially, my independence.

I'm still getting used to somebody washing my clothes for me, cooking dinner for me, ironing my clothes for me and even waking up to a table filled with food.
And I'm still getting used to being dropped and picked up at school.

I remember my brother's friend who also studied in Manila; we were at a party one time joking about life in CDO and Manila,
I remember him joking, 
"In CDO, we have cars at our disposal, 
In Manila, we're the ones running after buses/jeeps."

That was an exaggerated joke, by the way.
And I'm sure you know who said this, Ate Jica, Chinky and Tix.
Hahaha.

Anyhoot, when I came back here, I was angry but I didn't show it.
I remember asking my dad for another year to decide on what I really want to do.
Bottomline, I didn't want to be stuck here in CDO.

However...

During the past three months, I've lived and enjoyed my life here again.
I've met great people and classmates who complete my day.
I'm much closer to my parents.
I'm even more closer to Nanay - my childhood yaya.
I'm growing spritually -- I have a large group with girls my age on Friday evenings to study the Bible. 
On Saturday lunchtime, I have a smaller disciple-making group for a deeper study of the Bible.
Mondays, I am with my IVCF group.
And lunchtimes anytime of the week, I am with my bestfriends who make it a point to eat together once a week.
Sundays, I am with my family. We go to church and eat lunch at Ramen Tei.

I'm happy. 

God has been so good to me.
He didn't give me my dreams on a platter but He did give me something of the same value.
He allowed me to be hurt in order for me to grow.
He humbled me because I was becoming too proud of my independence, my intelligence and everything that I wouldn't have had without Him
And time and time again,
He reminds me that He loves me.
He reminds me that nothing will ever snatch me out of His hands.
He reminds me that I am His even if I fall short sometimes.
I love you God.
Thank you so much.


And for the last time, 
I'll be dwelling on the past.
For the last time.
And on some of the things and people that I miss.

1. I miss our condo which my sister and I used to clean like crazy whenever my parents announced that they were coming over. (I'll be visiting it soon this sembreak!)


(Jem and Jun on a visit)


(Our condo tower, taken from our old rented condo beside it) 


2. I miss eating breakfast with this view.



(We wrote on our windows with window pens)

3. I miss rainy seasons especially when classes were suspended.

(the view from our window; 16th floor)







I took a shot from the 16th floor with my camera out the window facing down.

4. I miss going down Robinson's Mall when I'm bored and just hanging out at Powerbooks.


(view from the swimming pool on the 6th floor)

5. I miss the excitement of anticipating my parents' visit. 

(Discovery Suites)


(Shangrila Hotel)


6. I miss comfort food during the rain and checking the weather announcement on mac.


(Hears and Flour bread)

(Sunpride bacon from CDO on mashed potato)



7. I miss my childhood bestfriends/churchmates/campmates/kapwa-doctor's kids turned neighbors. Our units are beside each other and one floor above! 



8. I miss my roomies who I shared a dorm room and then a condo with for two years before I moved to the family condo.


(Jem and I)

(Jem, Tia and Adz)

(Aleca and I)


9. I miss 4A.


(kahit wala ako dito dahil na sa CDO na ako)




(especially our crazy bus rides)


 
10. I miss you BIMS.






11. I miss the girls.

 

12. I miss UST.


13. I miss Cheska and Kuya Pepper

(On the way to Paragon, Mount Elizabeth)


With this, I don't want to dwell on the past anymore.

From this day on, the pictures I'll be posting won't be from my archives anymore unlike all my last posts.

This time, they will be straight from my camera.

They will be of the present. 

I want to try taking a picture a day for a week with my camera because I want to record my week.

(I'm not saying I'm a pro. I don't even take good pictures. My mum bought this for herself with all the necessary lenses. And now she's over it so she passed it on to me. Thanks mum. :) )


Just one week.

See if it works out.

This will be my new project.

TO the PRESENT.

I'll conquer you soon. 



 

GET OBSESSED!!

 


I've never stopped reading Psychology Today, the magazine, because I don't want to miss out on anything Psychology. I love Psychology. :)





In the latest edition, there were lobbying for obsession: productive obsession.

It's not the creepy, stalker kind or the irrational beliefs held by OCDs but the kind of obsession wherein you put yourself into something wholeheartedly.


Maisel (2010) said that merely doing things by half -- merely dabbling in a hobby or professional endeavor -- produces sad human beings. It's dangerous to feel as though you aren't making a meaningful contribution. He added that in order to lead a life that makes you proud, you likely need to up the ante and get obsessed and that what you cultivate should be rooted in love, interest and a desire to better our shared circumstances in the world.

Apologies for the thesis-like paragraph above. I've worked on a thesis with my group for a year and I've never gotten it out of my system. :P

Anyhoot, I must accept the hard existential fact that if I intend to matter, I must act as if I matter. So this month, I am embarking on a month of productive obsessing, then another, and then ultimately, a lifetime. :)

So what do I want to do?





I want to do a lot. I'm a fresh graduate and currently taking up medicine but I want to do more.





I want to travel with my family. My dream is for us to go to Santorini. :)

At the airport with my mum taking the picture.










I used to draw and paint during my free time. I made this when I was in high school.




I discovered Indian henna and an Indian lady from Sentral taught me how to draw using it. So I brought henna with me to the Philippines. :)


I was bored one night and I decided to draw on my hand.


Derek and I drawing on Klyde's left hand.
Drawing on Jam's hand.



The finished product...




I want to take beautiful pictures.





I want to make a difference in the world with my speech.




Below: In Indonesia when I was 15 years old, I was asked to pray in front of 700 people from 70 nations.





I want to travel with my best friends....







And do crazy and adventurous stuff with them... 




like ride flimsy, rattling, old ferris wheels with them 



or confronting a former dormmate who steals, 




or Miss Minchin who hated us with fervor...

or take crazy photobooth pictures with...







I want to design interiors of beautiful homes.



I want to fall in love. :)


Below: That's me on the farthest right, waiting for true love. :)



I want to help... and if God grants me a degree in medicine, then I want to make Him proud by becoming a doctor for Him. I want to join Doctors Without Borders (DWB) because I want to merge my love for traveling and helping. Literally, I want to become a doctor without borders for Him.



There's a lot that God has given me. He has blessed me so much and I humbly thank Him for the opportunities and the gifts.

And with everything that He has given me, I want to make Him proud. 





I love you, Lord. 

And as I obsessively try to please You, I want you to know that all glory belongs to YOU! Never me.

So... what do you want? What are you obsessed with?



I'll part with words from Maisel, In order to lead a life that makes you proud, you need to up the ante and get obsessed. :))

What are you waiting for? 


GET OBSESSED!!