Not all those who wander are lost but I am

"adventurers are actually more scared of you than you are of them"

"he's literally just doing what an adventurer is supposed to do"

"do you think they think of us as Giant Adventurers?"

"do you know how many other creatures would be infesting our cave if there were no adventurers?"

"how would you like it if you were bumbling along on your little adventurer day, and some giant dragon thing squished you for the crime of being yourself?"

"y'know, so many dragons are grossed out by them, but i think they're fascinating! Did you know some adventurers form symbiotic relationships with small monsters? Some of them even do a simplified form of spellcraft! Like, with actual magic and everything!"

"Of course they are swarming your cave, you dolt! You captured a juvenile queen and took it home with you, what did you expect!?"

Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window: -the insane orange waiter -that he’s carrying his plates in the air like a strongman -the couple looks like this isn’t the first time he’s done this, but it’s easier to just let it happen at this point. -the sign says PASTA as if he’s screaming it like a frankenstein -but he’s holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses -there’s three wine glasses -one’s for him.

genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.

via ered.bsky.social, the only kinds of unethical fiction:

people in the replies are going "what about books glorifying unethical things" and "what if it's propaganda" and you, my friends, are who this comic was made for

modesty

lansia viva

my favorite genre of video is kittens eating food in the most fucked up ways

Sir, noone is going to take it from you.

The beautiful and endangered Dumb Gulper Shark

They are even better 🌒

shooo

I’m gonna kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) someone else (remembers murder is bad) on accident (realizes it’s not an accident if I say I’m gonna do it) and I know because I’m from the future (remembers lying is bad) no I’m not (feels guilty) I’m so so sorry (remembers actions speak louder than words) (does a backflip)

Nature Documentary: these deep sea creatures can withstand crushing pressures of thousands of pounds per square inch!

Me: they’re not withstanding a goddamn thing. The pressure is a part of them. Their interiors and exteriors are equalized. Just because your respiratory system is built around a pair of fragile poppable bubbles-

You don’t know me

I did that job once.

What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union

i love how this is always showing up on my dash entirely free of the context that the ood’s response to this question is ‘the beast shall rise from the pit and make war against god’

Oh that’s just how it is in retail

ascension of christ

in an illuminated miscellany manuscript, germany, ca. 1471-1474

source: Stuttgart, Württemb. Landesbibl., Cod. poet. et phil. 2º 4, fol. 24r

Practical sewing and stitching techniques (Mending holes and altering lengths)

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

i was born inside an airpod case 3 minutes ago your honor and i love abortion

this is the most unhelpful post ever

do i look like a fucking faq to you

#f slur

is it a slur to ask questions frequently