FUCK. i think i have to learn blender
the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:
every day i log in here and get beat up by genies
Imagine that when a Guardian is risen for the first time, the only scar they bear is if they were killed by some unnatural force. If they're shot, they are left with a bullet wound. If they're stabbed, they're left with a stab wound.
One Human, he is risen by his Ghost as a Titan. Armor is fabricated onto his body, so he doesn't see what he looks like beneath. No less, the man fights his way through as per his Ghost's instructions, and makes his way to the Tower.
It's there that Shaxx brings him to the armory, and gives him some better armor to wear.
As the new Titan takes off what he wears, his bare torso shows.
Lord Shaxx nods, pointing to the man's chest. "Those are brave scars you bear, new Light. Wear them with pride and honor."
The Titan looks down at his chest. Beneath the breastbone, one long thin scar stretches from beneath his left arm to beneath his right, as though open once to cut away something within. He doesn't know what this scar is from, only that he apparently died getting it.
No less, the Titan armors up, and then spends the day training, practicing with his newfound Titan powers. He's a brute, with immense fury and strength, as any Titan would be. When done for the day, he goes to a small food stand in the Tower to grab a bite to eat. There are open terminals, which he makes his way toward, then begins searching.
"Lower breastbone scar" is what he searches for.
The results show up in mass quantities. All of them are about transgender FTM top surgery, and general gender affirming care.
The man next searches "transgender FTM". Once more the results give copious amounts of information. He sees that transgender is defined as somebody who was born differently than they feel their true gender is. They can choose to transition however they wish, or not at all.
Looking at his chest, knowing the scar is beneath his armor, the man's heart sinks, beats slowing near to a halt. He grips the terminal as his mind swarms with thoughts, and tears fill his eyes.
He never got to live as himself. He went for top surgery to fix a body that was his and make it liveable. And he never made it for whatever reason. He died during surgery. And he never got to live his life as himself.
The man breaks down sobbing, unable to handle this realization.
Why? Why couldn't he have lived his life as himself? Why did he have to die? Why—
The man types into the terminal what Guardians are. He sees they are people who once lived as mortals, but have died and been chosen by a Ghost to be risen, and live once more as defenders of the universe. These Guardians are wiped clean of their memories entirely. They remember basic functions, like breathing, eating, sleeping, speaking, and so on. But the reason why they maintain no memories is unknown. However, Guardians themselves say it's for one reason, and one reason only.
Guardians make their own destiny.
The man looks at himself. He looks at the terminal and his search on transness. Many trans people speak online about their anguish, rage, and sorrow, directed at themselves for being born "wrong", and that this anguish follows them forever until death. They cannot be free of it so easily.
But the man remembers none of this. He doesn't remember any self-hate, any self deprecation. He is, to himself, a man. Just a man without memories of pain and sorrow. Though he now feels this anger because he could not live his life as himself before, he thinks.
He is free of pain and self loathing. He is free of his past. He does not remember his life before being risen as his male self. He has no regrets or anger toward his past, only such feelings directed at the universe. But he thinks for a moment, about Guardians and destiny, that he is free of his past to create a new legacy of his own. And it's there he realizes it all.
He died during surgery, and was risen to live free as himself. Free of pain. Free of sorrow. Free of everything bad. He is free to live. Just live. Nothing holding him back. He is free.
The man's tears stop, and he looks at himself again. Finally, he smiles, his arms reaching around him as he holds his own body gently. With love.
He may not know who he was, but he doesn't want to. Deadnames stay dead. Dead selves stay dead. And in their place, he lives. A man. Through and through, not a doubt in his mind. And he will create a new destiny for himself as such.
Belated, but happy pride month, Guardians! :) I love you all sincerely. <3
attack on @bellasauruss
op says we can repost
incredible stuff happening out there
There's gotta be someone more qualified. I'm fucking begging you.
don’t involve me in this…
☹️
Ask the cookie clicker guy
For block list maybe
Uh @thebibliosphere is a best selling author think that counts?
Over my undead body.
"the gang's all here" ass post except none of you want to be here XD
“the gang’s all here” ass
post except none of you want
to be here XD
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Save you?
On tumblr dot com?
its past midnight in england which means its 4/13/2016
4/13/2016 is a very special day because
its the 10 year anniversary of neil banging out the tunes
thank you neil for banging out the tunes
12 years of neil banging out the tunes!
16 YEARS OF NEIL BANGING OUT THE TUNES!!
