I'm a submissive lesbian in northern california and a newbie, looking for some tips on the lifestyle and meeting people?
Have you ever heard of the phrase, motto, or warning:
"Never own a slave who buys her own collar." ????
If so, please let me know what it means... please.
This is not my writing. This is something that I found on the net, through another submissive friend of mine, and I have yet to find someone to attribute credit to.
It touched me and so I hope that it touches you... or, maybe, helps you in your journey.
Helga Theory
Inside every woman (and every man as well... but for the purpose of this post... will stay with women) is an independent woman who represents our assertive drive. Or ego if you will. Ego is not a bad word... unless it is used for selfish purposes only. Our ego, or drive... gets us up in the morning. Gives us the determination to deal with day to day things, strive towards a goal, makes decisions, gets us out of harms way, and pushes us to stand up in front of others with our opinions knowing that all will not be received well. This is Helga. As you can see, Helga wears many hats. Most of which, many times, may be the proverbially cone bra & helmut. Ya see.... Helga (who has grown much larger as she gets older) also has another job. She protects the other person living inside this woman... the little girl/submissive.
Helga has been conditioned by her environment (nuture) with fear. She has seen the little girl/submissive being abandoned, used, abused and all in all... not loved. The little girl however... is still just that... a little girl by nature. She wants to come out to play... trusting in all she meets... showing little fear of her surroundings... reaching out to love and be loved.... unconditionally.
Helga... is her guardian. Helga is the one men/Doms do battle with. Helga is the one that could get the Pope to reconsider His faith! When one is hearing Helga spout off... (as in trying to figure out how a conversation about finances can get turned around to arguing about garbage bags)... what many times He is hearing is the verbalization of the internal battle between Helga and the little girl. A very frustrating time for the woman.... as she tries to sort out her intellect from her emotions.
Many times... men will give up trying to reconcile the conversation and leave. Helga then wins. Some men will try to battle Helga straight on. But as any good warrior will tell you... one should never battle the enemy on THEIR turf. Helga will win again. For you see Helga will convince herself... no matter how right your points are... that you know not of what you speak. In BOTH instances... the little girl/submissive is standing behind the leg of Helga.... praying you don't go away.
The trick is to learn to walk right through Helga... not by breaking her down per se... but by not Reacting toooo much to her insecurities/fears. Whatever we react to... automatically gives it more power. So the trick is to recognize Helga's fears... and walk calmly through them... to then reach our for the hand of the little girl/submissive who yearns to come out to play.
You then... become the Guardian.
And Helga... can sit her little ass down... knowing that little girl/submissive is safe.
Helga seems to make herself known from time to time. She at times... will get back up. She, as in all life, wants to exit. She will challenge you from time to time. Test you unconsciously, to see if you still can be trusted with the Guardianship of little girl/submissive. If you (generic) don't buckle or react too much to her... she will soon know that the little girl is safe... and can rest again.
Slowly... you should notice... she makes fewer and fewer appearances.
Now i know... this all may sound oh-so-very simple in dealing with the complexities of humans. Life is certainly not black & white. But I hope I maybe put a name to some of it for you.
Good luck and keep walking through... Helga.
Hi! Wanted to post about being a slave now for about 7 months. I have completely embraced being a slave, I love all aspects of it. It brings me such joy and satisfaction to know I have served my Master well. He tells me I'm a good girl, and he tells me when I need further disipline. The complete reliquishing of the power is such a turn on for me. In vanilla life, I have all the power as I need it to run my family and work environment. So, when I have my moments with my Master, it is a complete release and there is no pleasure like that. What I am struggling with is the fact that I am in love with my Master and we are still working out girlfriend status vs. slave vs. friends vs. lovers. Somewhat confusing and frustrating at time. I long to be with him every day, feeling his hands on me, feel the chains around my wrists. We do not live together, so the moments we do have, seem so far and few between, but not any less thrilling and completely satisfying on so many levels. Our passion builds up and literally explodes on each other. My Master has my body, mind, and soul for as long as he wants it. I have much to learn, above all, patience. I do know there is no where else on this planet I would rather be than at his feet serving him.
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artistic
Hi there. I am new to being able to express my passion for the bdsm lifestyle and so glad to have an outlet to discuss and read other posts.
I find it right where my mind needs to be every day.
And, I have a Master who is also new to being able to express his desires in this area. It is extremely exciting and frustrating at times.
I cant wait to post more and even have duties to do as such hopefully soon.
respectfully,
slavemissy
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bouncy
Hello, my name is Joyy. I'm a submissive at heart. I didn't discover it until I was in my current relationship. My boyfriend has a very dominant personality and I loved being dominanated/used by a male. Long story short i learned about bdsm. I hope one day that I can actually be in a relationship with my own master....Looking forward to hearing your stories
much love, Joyy
Hi everyone! I'm SilentMelody,Master M and Miss J's little sl@t.
I've just recently joined LJ and started my first blog. I haven't been in my current relationship for very long and it's complicated nature has thrown me with a few unexpected curve balls. Though all in all I'm terribly happy and greatful for what I have; I'll just be needing a lot of advice and I'll be ranting often. lol
I can't wait to get to reading some blogs, and feel free to comment on mine.
Happy blogging!
Hi!
I am angel because that is what He says I am.
I'm new to LJ, and the bdsm world in general. I'm looking for people to read about and read my posts and generally share the journey with. I am a submissive who is currently in a complicated relationship and that is what my blogs will mostly be about.
You don't have to be a submissive to be my friend. I believe it takes all sorts. So, submissives, slaves, babygirls, Daddies and Masters, come one come all. I want to talk to everyone! I want to know what you think and how you deal with your problems and just talk to people that don't think I'm crazy or will make fun of me. *teardrop*
I'm not sure what else I can say to grab your attention or make you like me so just drop by and read my first entry. I love comments and look forward to being your friend. :)
the_lj_revival community has been set up with that aim in mind, and you are invited to join it. If you are already on LiveJournal and still have a Facebook profile, and would like to see more people returning to LJ or setting up accounts here, we invite you to post a link to this community on your Facebook Timeline. If you would like to find out who is still using LiveJournal and make contact with those who are already here, you are invited to copy and paste the 'about me' questions on the profile page and post them with your answers to the community.