(no subject)
Well I'm still alive but have reached the lowest point of my life. Being unemployed sucks more than anything else possible. Finding a job in the stupid economic climate is a mission in itself. Been looking since the beginning of the year when I was told I was getting made redundant. 2 and a bit months later still nothing. This is my third week of being unemployed and I'm so over it. Finding things to do during the day is getting harder, cause you can't keep doing the same thing everyday. I've applied for over 50 jobs, had about a dozen or so interviews, with them all saying the same thing "we'll let you know what happens", "you're at the top of the list, just got to interview a few more people, then we'll ring you", "we'll ring you later" and so on and so on, but yea they never do. So basically those companies are giving themselves a bad name to me. And as for going on the unemployment benefit, I have to go to a seminar thing tomorrow before being allowed money from the Government. WTF??? I've being paying taxes for the last 14 years that have gone to more lazy ass fucks than I care to know, so why can't I just sign a stupid form that says I'm allowed my taxes back??? Can you tell that I'm getting frustrated and pissed off at the fact that I can't find a job.
Now for something else that's doing my head in. A female. I like her a lot, well more or less love her to bits, and have done so for quite some time. But to be honest I don't know how she feels about me, and things just keep going round in circles. I spent some time with her Saturday night and things went further than they had in the past. Not knowing whats going on between us left me a bit fucked over the last two days and well still this morning. She has a few issues, but will not talk to me about it and doesn't want a relationship at the moment. She knows that she can talk to me about anything and that I'm here for her, and anyone that knows me is that I always have a shoulder to cry and an ear to talk to, so it upsets me a lot. But no matter what, I'm not going to bail on her and leave her. She knows how I feel about her, and how I feel about her lil boy, but will not let me help in any way what so ever. To me it feels like she's pushing me away and that I'm fighting a battle that I will never win. I just don't know what to about. I haven't felt this way about anyone for a very long time, well not had such strong feelings for someone ever. I just don't know what to do.
Anyway its St Paddy's Day, so Happy St Paddy's Day everyone. Time for me to get organized, dry the tears and head off to the pub to celebrate it, and to do some more thinking. And apologies for venting on here as I can't do it on Facebook, as some people are too nosey, and also said female is also on there.
Till next time...........
Now for something else that's doing my head in. A female. I like her a lot, well more or less love her to bits, and have done so for quite some time. But to be honest I don't know how she feels about me, and things just keep going round in circles. I spent some time with her Saturday night and things went further than they had in the past. Not knowing whats going on between us left me a bit fucked over the last two days and well still this morning. She has a few issues, but will not talk to me about it and doesn't want a relationship at the moment. She knows that she can talk to me about anything and that I'm here for her, and anyone that knows me is that I always have a shoulder to cry and an ear to talk to, so it upsets me a lot. But no matter what, I'm not going to bail on her and leave her. She knows how I feel about her, and how I feel about her lil boy, but will not let me help in any way what so ever. To me it feels like she's pushing me away and that I'm fighting a battle that I will never win. I just don't know what to about. I haven't felt this way about anyone for a very long time, well not had such strong feelings for someone ever. I just don't know what to do.
Anyway its St Paddy's Day, so Happy St Paddy's Day everyone. Time for me to get organized, dry the tears and head off to the pub to celebrate it, and to do some more thinking. And apologies for venting on here as I can't do it on Facebook, as some people are too nosey, and also said female is also on there.
Till next time...........
