Obey
  • tallguy

Just a reminder: privacy is not guaranteed in the UK

Lloyds TSB is the fifth-largest banking group in the UK, but the bank's recent actions prove it still cares about the little guy. When it isn't partnering to sponsor the London Olympics in 2012, or recognizing the contribution of Asians to British society via the Asian Jewel Awards, the banking giant enjoys rooting through customer records and changing passwords it finds offensive, then refusing to change them back.

Steve Jetley of Shrewsbury discovered this firsthand, after he changed his telephone banking password to "Lloyds is pants" ("rubbish" to us American sods on the wrong side of the pond). Upon calling in, Jetley discovered that his "pants" password didn't match what was in the system. Instead, his password had been changed to "no it's not." Initially, this was no big deal.

"I thought it was actually quite a funny response," Jetley told the BBC. "But what really incensed me was when I was told I could not change it back to 'Lloyds is pants' because they said it was not appropriate. I asked if it was 'pants' they didn't like, and would 'Lloyds is rubbish' do? But they didn't think so."

"Barclays is better," didn't meet with approval either, seeing as how Barclays is another, even larger UK bank and a Lloyds competitor. At that point, Jetley was suddenly told that passwords had to be one word. When he offered "censorship" up as an appropriate password, he discovered passwords were required to be just one word, and no more than six letters long (not terribly secure, that). This undoubtedly came as something of a surprise, since his previous password had been accepted by the system, but the staff manager in question was apparently adamant.

Lloyds has since apologized, and told Jetley that the staff member had been let go. The bank also clarified its password policy, stating, "Customers can have any password they choose and it is not our policy to allow staff to change the password without the customer's permission." Lloyds did note that it is "disappointing" that Jetley chose to express his dissatisfaction by changing his password, indicating, perhaps, that he should have expressed his satisfaction by finding a different bank.

There's no word on whether or not Jetley got his "pants" back, but this isn't the first time Lloyds has come under public scrutiny for how it treats its customers. Earlier this year, Lloyds customers mounted a campaign to have certain charges refunded after the bank refused to do so. Oystar, a British group, released a parody of "I Fought the Law," called "I Fought the Lloyds." The song detailed the customers' struggles, and was popular enough to hit number 25 on the UK singles chart. Given these sorts of cases, we'd suggest Lloyds give Jetley back his coveted pants, and perhaps take a Carnegie course or two.

Source: Ars Technica
Buddy Christ

Oh, yeah; they're going straight to Hell (emphasis added by me)

They had sex WHERE? [note: that is the actual headline. There's no way I could improve on that]

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian couple who were caught having sex in a church confessional box while morning Mass was being said have repented and made peace with the local bishop.

The couple, in their early 30s, were detained by police earlier this month after they had made love in the confessional box in the cathedral in northern Cesena. They were cautioned for obscene acts in public and disturbing a religious function.

Their lawyer said they had been drinking all night and realized they had gone too far.

The lawyer told the area's local newspaper on Wednesday the couple met with the local bishop on Tuesday night, asked for his forgiveness and that he had given it.

Last week the bishop celebrated a "Mass of reparation" in the cathedral where the confessional box incident took place to make up for the sacrilege.

Source: Yahoo / Reuters
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Riff

Wow...just...wow (emphasis added)

Wolf whistle works, woman strips

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (Reuters) - Road workers in a small New Zealand town got their wish granted when a woman stripped saying she was fed up with their wolf-whistles.

The Israeli tourist was about to use an ATM in the main street of Kerikeri, in the far north of the country, when the men whistled, the New Zealand Press Association reported.

She calmly stripped off, used the cash machine, before getting dressed and walking away.

The woman told police she didn't take too kindly to the whistling from the men repairing the road.

"She said she had thought 'bugger them, I'll show them what I've got'," Police Sergeant Peter Masters told NZPA.

"She gave the explanation that she had been ... pestered by New Zealand men. She's not an unattractive looking lady," Masters said.

"She was taken back to the police station and spoken to and told that was inappropriate in New Zealand."


source: Reuters / Yahoo


Holy Crap! I though this sort of thing only happened in letters to Penthouse.

If she was going to strip, why bother using the ATM?
She probably could have gotten more money by letting the workers tuck a buck.

There must have been a mad rush to whip out their tiny little...cellphone cameras.

I love how the sergeant said that her behavior was "inappropriate in New Zealand."
So much for the tourist trade.
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Doctor Lazarus

It's a white trash dueling match (bolded for emphasis and humor)

Pair say they attacked each other with frying pan

CROSSVILLE, Tenn. - Out of the frying pan and into the fire. That's pretty much what happened to a Cumberland County couple arrested and charged with whacking each other with a frying pan.

Heather and Samuel Newcome are both charged with domestic assault. They told Sheriff's Deputy Timothy Tutor last week that they got into an argument and hit each other with the cookware.

"Both parties had injuries consistent with both of their stories," Tutor says in his report.

Other family members got involved in the fray as well and apparently came to blows, but none decided to file charges.

Tutor took Heather Newcome the Cumberland County Justice Center, where she was charged, then took out a warrant on her husband, who later turned himself in.

The two are scheduled to appear Monday in General Sessions Court.

Source: Yahoo


Anytime you have the words "domestic assault" and "frying pan" in the same paragraph, you can bet on two things: the incident occurred south of the Mason-Dixon line, and you just know there must be some heavy drinking involved.
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Doctor Lazarus

Now we know where Lorena Bobbit went (edited for length, no pun intended)

Penis theft panic hits city

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread....

[The story] quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims...claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs....

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala.

Source: Reuters News Service


Oh my, there's just too much to say, I don't know where to start. I'll just leave it to the commenter.


A special thank you to jmpeas2008 for bringing this community back to my attention. The next time a police officer shoots himself after showing off for his buddies, I'll dedicate it to jmpeas2008, my new patron saint of stupidity
Doctor Lazarus
  • tallguy

Gives a whole new meaning to the name "Screech" (edited for length and emphasis)

Former Saved By The Bell star Dustin Diamond has been "quarantined" from the rest of the cast of US reality series Celebrity Fit Club after fighting with fellow contestants.
Diamond got into a very public row with former American Idol contestant Kimberley Locke, which caused her and 1980s pop singer Tiffany to storm off the set....

During the heated argument Diamond allegedly said, "Screw Kimberley Locke. I'm going to make a dildo of my c**k and f**k her with it."
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Diamond, who played Screech in the TV series, made headlines last year when he starred in a raunchy sex tape which showed him engaging in sex with two women.

Source: IMDB.com
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Doctor Lazarus
  • tallguy

OMG! There's boobies in the museum!

Frisco outs art teacher after museum trip

Frisco [Texas] school trustees aren't renewing the contract of a veteran art teacher who was reprimanded because a student saw a nude sculpture during a museum visit.
Sydney McGee has been on paid administrative leave from Fisher Elementary School since Friday.

McGee's contract runs through the end of the school year.

Board members declined to take questions after their closed meeting tonight. They have previously said there were concerns over McGee's performance.

Her attorney, Rogge (ROWG-EE') Dunn says he would wait for written clarification from the school district to decide how to proceed.

McGee's attorney says the teacher's troubles started after taking 89 students on a school field trip to the Dallas Museum of Art in April. The principal later admonished McGee about the trip, telling her a parent complained about a student seeing nude art.

Source: KGBT 4 TV, Texas

Initially, I was incensed by this story. Sometimes I think that parents only care about their kids' education when they are exposed to something which does not conform to their narrow view of "acceptable".

Then I re-read the article. These were elementary school kids. I don't know what grade, but at best, these kids were 10 or 11 years old. At that age, nudity in art is probably not something they would understand, and I'm a little dubious as to whether they have the emotional maturity to appreciate art-in-the-raw. I would probably reserve the art museum for middle school at the earliest, when the teacher can educate them a little bit more about the artist and can try to put the purpose of a nude figure in context.

It's too late to close the barn door now that the horses are out, but instead of pissing and moaning about the teacher, the parents should actually take part in these field trips, and maybe preview the art collection and determine if there may be some troubling images. They should take a role in their kid's education and go back to the museum with them and discuss the painting/sclupture in question.
Doctor Lazarus
  • tallguy

A "knockout" performance? (edited for impact)

Uwe Boll Knocks Out Critics

Cult German film director Uwe Boll has knocked out some of his harshest critics in the boxing ring, in revenge for their harsh reviews of his movies. The film-maker challenged journalists to a physical contest after they criticized his movie BloodRayne, which stars Sir Ben Kingsley and Kristanna Loken.

Five people were selected to go fist-to-fist with Boll in a series of boxing matches, ... [and] Boll proceeded to knock out every one of his opponents.

Critic Richard Kyanka of website Something Awful says, "I feel great. I feel like a very angry German man punched me in the head repeatedly. He kept saying it was PR stunt and a joke, but then he comes on just 'murderizing' me. I want to have more kids someday, so I just said, 'I'm not going to stay in here and keep getting punched in the head.'"

And Boll's youngest opponent, 17-year-old Chance Mointer says, "I wasn't a big fan of House Of The Dead or Alone In The Dark, but after what he's shown me of Seed, I think it's fantastic."

A triumphant Boll says, "See what happens when they take a blow to the head? They like my movies."


Source: IMDb.com


...and for the main event, Ben Affleck versus the entire Hollywood Press Corps.
Doctor Lazarus

A redneck moment

Once again, I am convinced I am the world's biggest dumbass.

I was cutting the grass, and went to reach under the side discharge cover to clear something out. I had let go of the throttle handle, but the mower blade had NOT QUITE stopped spinning.

Yep, you guessed it. SLICE!

I managed to mow off a pretty good chunk of skin and muscle tissue on my right middle finger, and also managed to spray blood all over my shirt, jeans, face, and glasses.

The truth is, once I washed off the wound and wrapped it in a towel, the bleeding stopped pretty fast. It didn't hurt very much, just a sort of twinge. If it didn't look so grotesque, I wouldn't have gone to the emergency room...but it did, and so I went.

Four hours later, I have a middle finger wrapped up like a weenie tot in a blanket, a prescription for antibiotics, and a flight to catch in four and a half hours to Nantucket, MA for business. Thank heavens Starbucks is covered by my expense account.
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