Eternal Love

Due to some underaged readers, I've friends locked all of my stories and fan art as of July 6th, 2006.

Please comment to be added.

So, for those of you who are interested, I am finally on the tranplant list! After a week of testing at the Mayo Clinic, we now know that other than kidney failure, there's not a damned thing wrong with me.

The next step is to get one of my two cousins who've volunteered tested. Keep your fingers crossed that 1) they're still willing to donate a kidney and 2) at least one of them is a match.

If everything goes well, the doctors at Mayo said it could happen by March. That would be a wonderful birthday present, I think.

Tropical Storm Fay (who might be a hurricane by tomorrow) wants to visit DisneyWorld, so it looks as though it's going to be a little bit rough around here.

We've stocked up on everything we need, mostly. I'll stop by the grocery store tonight to pick up the few last-minute things. I'm going to meet Hubby at Home Depot at lunch to decide if we want to buy a generator. We were without electricity an average of two days per hurricane in 2004 (three different storms) and it was miserably hot. I want to be able to run our window AC unit to keep cool, plus the refrigerator.

One good thing about these storms is we were forced to slow down our lives. No computers, no TV, no running around to various events. We played cards and board games until even the kids were sick of them, but we really had a good time.

Wish us luck!



 

I'm headed for the Mayo Clinic!!!!!

October 6th, at 8:15 A.M., I'm scheduled to be at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL to begin the testing for my transplant.

I'm a little bit excited.

I've been frustrated about Florida Hospital rejecting my application for a transplant because I was 7 pounds over their limit (and 17 pounds over their limit for surgery), so last Wednesday I emailed the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville to find out their requirements.

Turns out I could have been on their list MONTHS ago, but I'm not letting that bother me now, because...

Last Friday, the dialysis center mailed out the application to the Mayo Clinic. Finally!

Now the evaluation process begins. I'll have to have a mammogram, a dental check, possibly a colonoscopy and an exam by a cardiologist to make certain I'm healthy enough to handle the surgery. Once I'm cleared, then the center will begin the evaluation of cousins to find out if they're compatible.

Of course, the ironic part of this whole situation is that I've now lost enough weight to apply to the transplant center right here in town. The social worker talked me into applying there as well, so I now have twice the chance of getting a kidney.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I get so caught up in the daily struggles of my illness - diet, feeling sick after dialysis, exhaustion - that I sometimes forget the reasons I'm bothering to go through with the treatment.

I'm going to try to remember every day at least one reason I get up in the morning.

Today's reason:

Two teenaged sons who let their mother hug and kiss them (even in public!), and even hug and kiss her back.

 It's a drabble, but it's SOMETHING!

Title: The Last Goodbye

Author: Sterling Dragonfly

Pairing: Brian/Justin

Rating: G

Disclaimer: The wonderful folks of QAF don't belong to me; if they did, I'd be SO happy!!!

 

He hates goodbyes, Brian thinks as he gives one last, loving caress down sleek curves before walking away. He refuses to look back, afraid of the likelihood he'd change his mind. He squares his shoulders, takes a deep breath and heads quickly out of the door.

 

Justin watches Brian with fond exasperation. Brian has always accused him of being a drama queen, but Brian's flair for theatrics beats his any day of the week. Justin shakes his head and follows Brian outside.

 

The two grinning lovers drive away in Brian's new Porsche, leaving the Corvette behind at the car lot.

I wanted to say THANKS to everyone who's wished me a happy birthday. mdlaw's picture  http://mdlaw.livejournal.com/13289… of the dragonfly cake is great!

I've tried - really tried - to write some on my stories, but every time I open a document, I end up staring at the blinking cursor and get nothing.

It's very frustrating how this illness has completely sapped my life away from me. I work, go to dialysis and sleep. My kids aren't sure who I am. I've been a horrible friend.

I want my life back.

It's been five months since my kidneys failed - five highly stress-filled months. I've had to learn to accept the fact that my life's changed radically and it will never be the same as it was before I became ill.

One thing I've struggled with is the idea of a transplant. During the first few months after the failure, I had four people (my father, brother, husband and husband's aunt) volunteer to be tested to see if they were a match. Unfortunately, all of them have different blood types, so they were no-gos.

Because I'm not close to the rest of my extended family, I then realized my only realistic hope of a kidney would be from a cadaver - and I'm really not all right with that. I've joked to my husband (although I'm not really sure it is a joke) that if I get a transplant as a result of somebody's death, I'll need therapy. Extensive therapy.

A transplant would make my life so much better - no more 15 hours per week at the dialysis center. No more constant nausea. No more exhaustion and spending ten/twelve hours a day in bed on the weekends. No more blood infections and blood transfusions.

I'd be able to work full-time again. Play with my kids without dropping out because I don't feel good. Eat chocolate.

And yet, the idea of wanting a kidney means that in a way, I'm wanting someone to die. And that just makes me feel evil.

My hubby has a more pragmatic opinion. It's his belief that people are going to die anyway, so it's a gift that will benefit me and should be accepted without concern. And yes, I understand his point of view, but I'm still struggling with the whole situation.

However, there is a bright spot, which I hope will turn out. Two of my first cousins have volunteered to be tested and I'm really hoping one of them will be a match, because I'm completely all right with the idea of a live donor. Keep your fingers crossed for me.