the first couple weeks that I came back to jail I was still pissed off with the whole court room scene and I shouldn't have defended myself I know that now and for the first two weeks in jail I basically partied and did a lot of drugs and I was getting drunk and now I realize that you gotta try and stay away from all that stuff in here and basically if you're gonna be in here you may as well use the time to get smarter I learned about relationships and how it's probably a good idea to probably take a break from your relationship cause then when the breaks over it's uh stronger I guess so as far as lucy and trinity goes that's probably good. taking a break from dope is even a good kind of a break cause then when you smoke dope again you get a lot more fucked up what ricky is talking about is the power of positive thinking now I've been doing a lot of reading in here about that and I've learned to take a negative situation and turn it into a positive one and I've been telling ricky all about it exactly it's all in how you look at it you can pretend you're in jail or right now i'm pretending like I'm in university if you look at jail in a positive manner i mean you eat three times a day okay you have a schedule you follow that schedule you have a lot of time to yourself to read to reflect on life and you know hanging otu with your friends I'm glad I went to jail and the only thing I really miss is probably having regular dope all the time and getting drunk regularly and I miss lucy and trinity but other than that i fucking love being in jail positive thinking ricky 45 days buddy it's easy sloppy joes tomorrow oh yeah it's thursday
wasted, passed out on the kitchen floor another week gone by and I haven't been dreaming blacked out and I can't remember exactly what I did last night I hear stories in the morning and I know that I'm out of control because when I drink nothing ever matters I missed the sunrise, could barely open my eyes now I've got to pull myself together right now this town really fucking tears me down someday it will drown me in the river I've got to learn to put the liquor on the shelf or I might end up drowning myself
[insert some analogy about my life and this song here]
lol thanks livejournal for having the 'restore from saved draft' option because I just read an entry I was never gonna post to begin with that I wrote like a week ago and it just depressed the fuck outta me!!! well I guess not the fuck out of me but it depressed me enough to write about it for these 2 minutes. now I don't even remember what I was gonna say. something important I'm sure. oh wait yeah okay I swear to fuck sometimes I think I have a sixth sense about some shit because somehow I always know to check something on the internet or log into something that I haven't been on in a month or more b/c something about someone or something obviously changed and it's obviously going to piss me off or irritate me or or upset me or make me think about it all fucking day. lol@my life. anyway I got a [goddamn] job.
- had an awesome thnxgvng at sherry's. got really drunk and hung out with her and wes and tyler and lots of other people. however there was a point where I do believe wes and I became "too drunk" - I just made the best fucking home made turkey pot pie omg srsly amazing - I also made a twitter so add me if you have one. twitter.com/selfcheckout - I downloaded and watched all of generation kill one day and I can't stop watching it over and over - AND TIM MOTHER FUCKING BARRY SENT ME A MESSAGE ON MYSPACE OMGG I'm grinning like a fucking chesire cat haha oh god.
you know what FUCK RENE FOR PUTTING SOOKIE THROUGH THIS. although I guess without rene doing what he's doing then there wouldn't be a plot BUT STILL IT'S KIND OF FUCKED UP AND FOR ONCE i AM SIDING WITH SOOKIE BECAUSE I AM KIND OF DRUNK. but seriously fuck rene I used to like him so much and now he pisses me the fuck off
wait let me take that back I am no longer drunk I just threw up the 2 beers I chugged and probably the whiskey that I can't seem to drink like I used to just two weeks ago. OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS BILL DOING HE IS GOING TO DIE IN THE SUNNNNNN HOLY SHIT. okay but sookie looks really fucking stupid when she's sobbing ugh. wait I think I missed a part while I was puking I should start it over. so is BILL DEAD OR WHAT THIS IS CRAZY WHY WOULD HE DO THAT MOTHERUFKCER. everyone looks hotter with a black eye. oh my god thank fucking god bill is okay although I think he killed Lafayette. holy shit bill kissing sookie's black eye almost made me cry. okay it did make me cry. maybe I am still kind of tipsy because I never cry sober. okay so here's a real question why do i find detective andy hot. what is it with me an dolder guys. it's disgusting. I am disgusting. holy shit I have to wait until summer to see who's mother fucking goddamn foot taht is. it's only like november. I'm sure it is lafayette's but holy shit goddamn it. fuck it. WHATEVER. okay now I'm gonna watch it again.
I need a goddamn job. I need a goddamn job. I really need a goddamn job. I need a goddamn job. goddammit. goddammit. goddamn. I need a goddamn, I need a goddamn job.
oh that's funny off with their heads once again knows exactly how I feel
god it's the fight tonight and also a keg party but I really kind of just want to stay home where it's [somewhat] warm and get high and feel sorry for myself and/or watch movies while listening to chuck ragan because he is awesome.
hahahaha I wrote that earlier I guess I forgot about it. yep that's basically what I did. I watched love song for bobby long which I can't help but watch every time it comes on IFC and I see it which is a lot. ugh. anyway so I've been listening to chuck ragan and tim barry and shit like that and then I found this other guy on myspace and it's almost bordering on [basically it is] country. what the fuck. but yes I'm listening to him over and over [all 2 songs] and I love them. and I really have no idea why I'm writing this. I should be listening to off with their heads talk about spending all your money on drugs and kicking out the chair with your legs cause I want to fucking die today. yeah die today.
last night was the revival tour with tim barry and chuck ragan and ben nichols and tom gabel and it was so fuckign amazing. let me tell you. chuck ragan played an alkaline trio song. I'm pretty sure it was bleeder but I can't be too sure because I was very drunk by this point and james doesn't know alkaline trio songs so he just said something about a cigarette. but I do remember everyone singing along and fuck everyone was just so fuckign awesome. tim fuckign barry gave me a hug 3 fuckign times and remembered my name like an hour after I told him or so [he called me miss allison aaaaaaah] and james helped him with his equipment and shit and goddamn he said he'd be back sometime in march or soemthing but hey that's forever away. anyway james and I were right in front and he was so awesome because I left my ID at home so I couldn't buy beer so he kept having to go get me beer and then shove his way back up to where I was. so basically last night was probably one of the best nights of my life.
