So the new *in* thing this season is gray hair. Carl Lagerfeld and Calvin Klein both sent gray haired models down the runway for their new fashions. Okay...now I've been completely gray for YEARS (early silver runs rampant in my family) and have always been tempted just to let it be gray, my grandmothers gray was a gorgeous shiny silver (like a fox) and my mothers is a dark sliver with a white shock in the front - very cool. I've always been curious to see what my silver would be. HOWEVER, letting myself be gray in my late 20's (when if first started to change) and being gray now in my 'not 20's' are two completely different things. One of my worst nightmares, as an older mom to very young kids, is to have someone say to me while out with my boys "What beautiful grandchildren you have!". I think that would put me in bed for at least a month with a depression no medication would begin to touch.
I'm a parent of two preschoolers. Silly woman - you dont have time to, you know, actually WRITE anything on here.
It's funny though, re-reading a lot of my posts and thinking - wow, I actually, at one point in my life, had something to say. It may not always have been something interesting, or profound, or even intelligent - but it was something. Now I sit down to write and I sit here staring at a blinking vertical line...
Its as if, by the end of the day, all my words have left me. I hope to slowly get back into the groove... I am... rusty (to put it nicely). Stagnant, if I am more honest with myself.
But, this is a beginning. Although it may be a slow start, it is a start. I do miss it - more than I thought I would.
I cannot believe my last LJ post was June 2009. Holy hell. Blame Zuckerberg I guess, or just the whole Facebook thing. But now I miss you, and I miss being able to rage, rant, muse, create, wax poetic... word vomit to my little hearts content. Oh hell, I've just plain missed you LiveJournal.
Well here I am at the office on May 23rd... 6 days past my 'due date' and still NO contractions - not even little twinges or fake ones (Braxton Hicks).
I am thinking I was probably right all along and that May 28th is the correct due date. That one was based on counting from the first day of my last menstrual cycle. I am one of those rare women who is so clockwork you could figure out the phases of the moon by my cycle (in fact at one point I actually was on a lunar cycle - full moon = first day of my period - then I got pregnant. LOL!). Hell, even after giving birth to Sam I had my first period exactly 28 days later. But, Noooooo-ooo. Doc's take a look at one sonogram performed at 20 weeks and declare that the baby couldn't possibly be due on the 28th - he's measuring bigger than that - he must be due earlier - lets pick the 17th. All I could think of was, have you *seen* my 2 year old? Have you met my husband? I would be shocked if this baby wasnt on the 'bigger' side of things anyway.
Now... since young master 'player to be named later' has yet to grace us with his presence the docs are insisting that I get induced on the 27th. I think I may have to try to wrangle out of that some how. I had a Non-Stress Test Tuesday and everything is fine with me and the little guy. I have another one scheduled for tomorrow and if everything is still fine at my Dr.'s appt. on Tuesday I think I am going to ask for some lieniency on the 'induction'. I dont want 'player' to have to endure instant hard full labor if he doesnt have to. I may be able to get an epidural for the pain but the little guy wont know what hit him. So my logic to present to the doc is that my original due date (based on the usual and customary LMP) was the 28th ... can I have a few days past that date? What's two or three days gonna matter really. I wont be 42 weeks (based on the May 17th date) until May 31st anyway and 42 weeks is their cut-off.
I still think I will more than likely go by the 28th anyway... I've lost a lot of my mucus plug (Ugh, that is a horrible sounding term - its an accurate one, but still...) over the last 3 days and at my last check I was 100% effaced and 5 cm. dialated (that's halfway there! With Sam by the time I was at 5 cm. it was 6 hours into full labor and I gave in to the epidural!). At this point I am pretty sure the moment contractions start I have VERY little time to get to the hospital before this kid is coming out. No waiting for 8-minutes-apart-for-an-hour for me. A couple of contractions (to make sure they are regular) and I am in the car. I DO NOT want to be on the news. LOL!
Not much to say really. Getting big. I'm definitely carrying this baby much differently from when I had Sam. Sam was more nestled between my hips and I gained weight all over through my hips and thighs and midsection... this baby is all up front and I've lost weight over the last month - while he has maintained his growth right on schedule. Which in the right light seems pretty cool - I get to eat what I want and lose weight while the baby takes all he needs and more. :) I may weigh less after the baby is born than I did when I first got pregnant. LOL!
Of course the down side to this is that, unlike with Sam where mobility, sleeping positions and getting up and down from a chair were never an issue; with this one EVERY move is difficult. Of course there is only a couple of weeks left until my due date (if I make it) so I really can't complain too much. The worst is when he is pressing on my sciatic nerve. Depending on precisely where he hits it the lightening bolt of pain is either through my low back and down the back of one thigh - or worse - through my pubic bone and down the inside of my thigh. [shiver]
I am planning on seeing my Chiropractor at least 3 times next week (maybe more after that if I haven't given birth by next weekend) just to keep things in order for the big day. Tip top shape for the big push. :)
Danny has put his money on Mother's Day (May 10th). I kinda like that idea. :) Originally I thought I would go past my due date (May 17th) - but, with how I've been feeling lately, I wouldn't take that to the bank.
I do want to get some pictures taken before the baby comes - I want to be sure to get a few with Sam and the belly together. I will post them once I have them if anyone wants to see. :)
My Mom keeps having dreams that the baby is a girl. Danny's had one or two of them as well. I have to admit, I'm not sure with this one really. The ultrasound tech was pretty positive at the 20 week ultrasound that it is a boy - but since this pregnancy has been complication free so far (knock on wood!) I haven't had another ultrasound since the 20 week one. If the tech was wrong I'm going to have a little girl who will be dressing like a tomboy for her first two years of life whether she wants to or not. LOL! Which is fine by me... I'm not big on pink and fairy princesses. Lets hope, if it *is* a she, that she isn't either. :) Worse... I dont have ANY girl names picked out. Of course, being as I am a girl with a boy's name - I am predisposed to using boy names (or at least unisex ones) anyway. :) "Benjamina"? nah... ;)
On the Sam front. He's started in a nursery school program 2 days a week. Playing with other kids his age, and learning colors, numbers, how to spell his name, and other pre-preschool skills. He seems to like it (only a few bad cases of separation anxiety) and it gives me a bit of a break for a few hours twice a week. With #2 on the way it struck me as a good idea to try to wean Sam from his all engrossing attachment to me - give him some more independence. Cut one of those apron strings. Not that I think at 2 he's ready to get a job and earn his keep or move out - but I think it will help with the adjustment of having to share my attention and time with his brother. He can learn how to interact with other kids and how to share the teachers' attention with other kids - a good first step to sharing Mommy.
This Christmas was FANTASTIC! If you ever want to be reminded of the true bliss of Christmas have one with a 2 year old. LOL! Every present was special - every present had to be played with IMMEDIATELY. And Each and every present was the BEST PRESENT EVER! :)
It was bliss watching him open pressent after present and wanting to play with each and every one of them. This is the first present opening day where he finally caught on and "got it".
I would say he LOVED all his presents but he did have three absolute favorites. The remote controlled car, the giant smi truck filled with 'match-box' cars and of course the Garbage Truck.
He was adorable, and for a near two year old on a day when overstimulation and lack of sleep gets to most kids - Sam was an absolute angel. No temper tantrum (although we weren't in the least interested in eating brunch... or dinner that night for that matter... too much to do... toys needed played with people!)
Even though Danny and I agreed to our one present (46" HDTV) Danny HAD to surprise me with a few more. Started with little things... a Steelers t-shirt, a new shower caddy... and ended with a Blue-Ray Player. I am SOoooooo Spoiled and I have the best husband. :)
Since I want to make this a short day at the office I shall leave you with a picture...
determined
