Snark's Silence

Ocean's (Movies): The Last of the American Girls
Tess Ocean & Rusty Ryan, Danny/Tess, Danny/Rusty | 7904 words | Teen | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: She's a sucker for all the criminals breaking the law. The Tess&Rusty road trip fic everyone's been clamoring for.

Mysterious Mr. Quin - Agatha Christie: Scenes from a Crossing
Mr. Satterthwaite, Mr. Harley Quin, OCs, Mr. Satterthwaite/Mr. Harley Quin | 7589 words | G | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: It was the last full day of the crossing—time enough had passed to bring shipboard dramas to the boil.

And I Awoke and Found Me Here on the Cold Hill's Side - James Tiptree Jr.: In the Gloam
1179 words | Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Summary: Those known as the Oomans might be gone, but their things, and interest in them, remains.

Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse: Jeeves and the Mix-Up
Bertie Wooster, Jeeves, Jeeves/Wooster | 3606 words | G | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: In which Gussie Fink-Nottle, Aunt Dahlia, and a bunch of shrimps conspire to ruin Bertie's day.

EDS "Cat Herders" (Commercial): Fluffy Trails
Various Characters | 3821 words | Not Rated | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: They're supposed to be working on a piece of family-friendly, feel-good fluff...but behind the romanticized trail riders and their feline herds lies a world that's not so fluffy.

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Numbers (Anthropomorphic): Murder By Numbers
1 (Number), 2 (Number), 6 (Number) | 1045 words | Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply

Number One lets out a curse as he makes out the shape beneath all the blood.

So this was an inside job then.

One of their own number.

Mr. Trash Wheel (Anthropomorphic): Mr. Trash Wheel Sluices The Blues
Mr. Trash Wheel, A Five-Foot-Long West African Ball Python, OCs | 3510 words | Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: Mr. Trash Wheel said nothing, but his water wheel continued to rotate with thoughtful slowness, and his enormous googly eyes were soft and sympathetic.

Of course, that might have been the bourbon talking.

Space Exploration (Anthropomorfic): Some of the Planetary Bodies Cassini Didn't Hit, and One It Did
Cassini (Saturn Orbiter), Planet Saturn, Others | 1008 words | Gen | Major Character Death

Summary: Cassini journeys through space, but not alone.

Starfire Series - David Weber & Various Authors: Greater Trust
Zhaarnak'diaano | Zhaarnak'telmasa, Raymond Prescott | 2166 words | Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: What if Zhaarnak'diaano and Raymond Prescott had lived during the Second and Third Interstellar Wars, instead of the Fourth?

Pikmin (Video Game): Battle Plan
Man at Legs, Dwarf Bulborb | 1749 | Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: The Man-at-Legs leaves its den, discovers snow, and makes a friend.

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British Government Cats RPF/Young Wizards/Rivers of London/Monstress (Comics)/Slip Slidin' Away (Song): Assistance to British Nationals Abroad
Palmerston (Chief Mouser to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office), Larry (Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office), Tam Tam (First Record-Keeper of the Is'hami Temple), Cronus (Assistant to the Chief Whip), Siffha'h (Tower Bridge Gating Team), Toby (Rivers of London), Others | 20372 words | Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: Three cats, three humans, a dog and a tarantula walk through a Gate -

Integrate - Thea Hayworth: confirmation bias
Sezin/Gavin Hayes | 13796 words | Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: So his new partner was surprisingly not completely un-attractive, for a human. Gavin Hayes had impressive aptitude scores, and a friendly smile, and eyes sharp as winter currents, taking in the station and remembering names and details with an ease that belied his casual charm. All things that transcended species boundaries and general integumentary inadequacies.

It didn’t mean Sezin found him sexy.

Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch: warp of water, weft of stone
Thomas Nightingale, Peter Grant, Varvara, Molly, Peter/Nightingale | 10776 words | Teen | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: The demi-monde is at peace.

Thomas Nightingale, however, is not.

Temeraire - Naomi Novik: Of Gilded Wallpaper and Meddling Dragons
William Laurence, Tenzing Tharkay, Temeraire, John Granby, Iskierka, Augustine Little, William Laurence/Tenzing Tharkay | 5068 words | G | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: Laurence and Temeraire have been living with Tharkay for a scant two weeks when Laurence sends Granby a letter that essentially boils down to hi John how did you know you're gay also plz help I am in trouble.

Hellblazer/Sandman/Lucifer/Swamp Thing: Love Adventure Death and Glory
John Constantine, Dream, Delirium, Desire, Destiny, Alec Holland, Swamp Thing, Tefé Holland, Lucifer Morningstar, Death, Stanley Manor, Mad Hettie, Orpheus, First of the Fallen, John/Various | 8795 words | Mature | Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Summary: John adventures with the Endless, and wings it in the Constantine way. (Or: six times the Endless used John Constantine for sex, and the one time he used them instead.)

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19th Century Paleontologist RPF: The Ordinary Operations of Nature
Mary Anning, Charles Lyell | 4877 words | Teen | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Summary: Mary Anning writes to Charles Lyell.

The cliffs have become my home, my work, my place of continual toil, of movement guided by His hand. We have unearthed much of my Friend, as I have taken to calling him - for he seems as close a companion as Dog or the Sea, something familiar and dear...

The Culture - Iain M. Banks: Ever-Everland
Original Characters, Diziet Sma | 8843 words | Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

'I don't know if I meant it to be this way or if it was some really good sabotage.'

Ea-nasir Tablet RPF: Give copper, that your heart may not be troubled
Ea-Nasir, Others | 2243 words | G | No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Ea-Nasir's business has kept the scribes of Ur in meat and drink these ten years.

Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch: The Next Best Thing
Peter Grant/Thomas Nightingale | 5884 words | Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary: Telepathy – in the sense of somebody reading your thoughts – is not, so far as Nightingale or I or any other Newtonian wizards I’ve met to date are aware, a real thing.

That wasn’t much consolation right now.

Tingleverse - Chuck Tingle, Savage Love (Podcast) RPF: Savage Lovecast Episode 69: Pounded in the Butt By Savage Lovecast Episode 69
Dan Savage, Caller | 2144 words | Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply

Summary:
Dan Savage: So you’re getting pounded in the butt by your own concept of linear time.

Caller: Right.

Dan Savage: What is that like?

Caller: Well, Dan, it’s kind of confusing. On the one hand, it’s fucking amazing hardcore gay action. On the other hand, last month I was double-teamed by the sociopolitical implications of Putin influencing the American Presidential election in order to install a tiny-handed fascist Cheeto in the White House, and by the historical precedents of Trump’s demagogic takeover of America for the purposes of personal profit and destroying all the best ideals of our nation.

Top Gun: Indian Ocean. Present Day.
Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Others | 16458 words | Mature | Major Character Death, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Summary: Isolated on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Indian Ocean, cut off from any source of information about the global political and environmental disaster which has engulfed the planet, Maverick and Goose struggle to make sense of an increasingly claustrophobic command structure and failing resources on board. When a refugee helicopter is spotted approaching the carrier, its pilot could be the catalyst for an explosive re-evaluation ...

Yes Minister: The Status Quo
Jim Hacker, Humphrey Appleby, Bernard Woolley | 9886 words | G | No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: When someone lights a fire, you could put it out. Or you could light a bigger fire, to stop everyone looking at it.

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Today's the Day We Have to Be Romantic by thefourthvine
Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Ensemble | 6294 words, Teen , No Archive Warnings Apply
"Has it occurred to you that we're just really bad at dating?"

"When you're bad at something, you practice," Amy said firmly. "So you can get better at it."

Cadfael Chronicles: The Amber Stone by foxinthestars
Brother Cadfael, Aline, Constance | 2060 words, G , No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: In olden days, gems as well as herbs were thought to have healing powers. Cadfael knows better — but beyond the realm of knowledge, faith still remains.

Dark Is Rising: Wherein was bound a child by lotesse
Bran Davies, Others, Pre-Bran Davies/Will Stanton | ~25 000 words, G , No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: It's the late 80s, and Bran Davies is more perturbed than he ought to be by the news that Mrs. Evans' youngest nephew, an English boy he used to play with as a kid, who like himself is now grown to young adulthood - and who he can barely remember, no matter how hard he tries - has gone missing from his home in Buckinghamshire.

Flight Rising: Sibling Rivalry and Other Weird Bitey Things by Kaesa
Tripp, Pipp, Other Trading Post Dragons | 9736 words, G , No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Sometimes people accidentally sell unhatched eggs to Crim. And if Crim's not doing anything with them, why shouldn't Tripp try and do something useful with them?
Well, for one thing, there's the crippling guilt. And for another thing, unhatched dragon eggs tend to hatch.

Northern Exposure, Welcome to Night Vale: To drive the cold by Amand_r
Chris Stevens, Northern Exposure Ensemble | 5427 words, Not Rated , Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Summary: It's still light out, but the sun is going down, and it won't be back for another twenty hours. Holling at the Brick wants to remind everyone about the complimentary chocolate fountain, courtesy of Maurice and the folks at Strexcorp, and the hats are a-plenty over at Ruthanne's store. All in all, the end or beginning to another day. I'm Chris-In–The-Morning, and welcome… to Cicely.

Rivers of London, TLF Travel Alerts (Twitter): Mind The Gap by maple_clef
Thomas Nightingale, Peter Grant, Jaget Kumar, Molly | 4524 words, Teen , No Archive Warnings Apply
"Well," said Peter. "I’ve always hated the Northern Line. Apparently the feeling is mutual."

The Sandman, Baseball RPF: Field of Dreams by sophiahelix
Dream, Death, Max Scherzer | 1644 words, G , No Archive Warnings Apply
"So. What brings you here?" Death asks.

Dream scans the bench for a moment, before pointing briefly to the tall boy still rolling his ball.

"The pitcher?" Death asks. "Cute kid. Nice eyes. Looks familiar."

The Vorkosigan Saga - Diplomatic Immunity: The Iron Gates by sunsmasher
Ekaterin, Miles, Nicol, Roic, Admiral Vorpatril, Security Captain Brun, OCs | 10134 words, G , No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Miles is dying, nobody is listening, and Ekaterin is doing her damndest.

ETAAuthors 01.01.2016

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: as cuddly as a cactus by hardlygolden
Ensemble, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago | 1633 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
"Aha!" Jake says. "That was almost definitely a joke."

"It was indeed a joke," says Captain Holt. "You may have noticed that I have a tendency to get caught up in the merriment of the silly season. Kevin finds it most embarrassing."

Cadfael Chronicles - Ellis Peters: A Flourish of Gold by thelittlestbird
Brother Cadfael, Olivier de Bretagne, Eleanor of Aquitaine | 14800 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: When a murder disrupts the peace conference that might end the Anarchy, Brother Cadfael must solve one last mystery. Fortunately, he has some very competent people to help him.

The Culture - Iain M. Banks: First Steps by Bagheera
GOU Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints, Lededje Y'breq, Original Characters | 11207 words, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: "Did I design you a warship or a party clown, child?"

Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse: Jeeves and the Secret Santa by butterflymind
Bertie, Jeeves, Aunt Dahlia | 5635 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Next year, Bertie Wooster would most definitely not be leaving London for Christmas.

Robot Series - Isaac Asimov: Odds Against by Borusa
Susan Calvin, Alfred Lanning | 2568 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: A steel factory robot starts predicting the results of horse races, with perfect accuracy. With Alfred Lanning flapping wildly, Susan Calvin investigates.

Star Trek: Dwellers in the Crucible - Margaret Wander Bonnano: The One Great Choice by Beatrice_Otter
Cleante al-Faisal & T'Shael, Jasmine al-Faisal | 8179 words, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply
"T'Shael's decision to accompany Cleante back to Earth was easily made but not, in the end, easily accomplished. Or, at least, quickly attained."

Temeraire - Naomi Novik, Unusual Dragon Hoards - iguanamouth: An Abundance Of Captains by fadeaccompli
Temeraire, William Laurence, Hoard of Kittens Dragon | 2897 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Laurence was puzzled as to why anyone should send him and Temeraire to collect a stray dragonet, until he discovered how it had chosen its captain.

The Unusuals: A Dream Is a Wish You Make With Your Heart. (Or, Possibly, With Your Mustache.) by Kansas42
Ensemble, Davis Nixon/Casey Shraeger, Allison Beaumont/Jason Walsh | 7998 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Casey and Walsh may be doomed to have a fairy tale wedding, whether they like it or not. Meanwhile, Banks has gone missing, and Alvarez’s mustache may or may not have psychic powers.

ETAAuthors 01.01.2015

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Fallen London | Echo Bazaar: Seducing a Certain Delicious Prospect by Rabbit
Affectionate Devil, The Quiet Deviless, The Delicious Friend | 5711 words, Mature, Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Summary: If you were an Affectionate Devil or a Quiet Deviless, how would you go about making Delicious Friends... and parting them from their souls? Spoilers for the An Intimate of Devils storyline.

Glitch (Video Game): Lonely Spirits by fiddlingfrog
Esquibeth of Inari, Ghost of Gwendolyn, Phantom Glitch, Forehorseman | 2111 words, G, Character Death
Summary: After the end of the world, three spirits wait for the beginning of the next one.

Golden Girls: A Domestic Affair by implicated2
Blanche Devereaux/Dorothy Zbornak, Blanche/OMCs, Rose, Sophie | 2875 words, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply
“...I'm free right now, if you like.” She twirled a finger in her hair and looked up at Dorothy.

Dorothy nodded vigorously.

“Rose,” Sophia called into the living room, “My friend Mabel is hosting a bingo game in half an hour. Why don't you come with me?”

Rose frowned as she walked into the kitchen. “I don't know,” she said. “Bingo's such a sad game. I always feel sorry for the numbers that don't get called.”

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams: Sore Eyes by eruthiel
Ford Prefect, Arthur Dent | 5454 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
In all Ford's years of claiming to be an out of work actor, nobody had ever introduced him to the concept of an in-work actor, but that was precisely what this local did. "Tell you what, mate," he said, "I know a guy who works for the BBC." He could probably get you something in radio. "How's that sound?"
[...]
"Arthur Dent?" demanded Ford, squinting at the receipt.

Minesweeper: Off-Grid by Mrkgnao
Mine #65, The Sweeper, Curt Johnson, Robert Donner | 3008 words, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Centuries after the devastation of humanity's final war, a still sentient cluster of AI-enhanced explosive devices encounters a stranger.

Practical Magic (1998): A Pool in a Peaceful Place by Tam_Cranver
Bridget "Jet" Owens, Frances Owens, Regina Owens | 18 517 words, Teen, Character Death
Summary: Jet Owens dreams of bigger things, but over the years, life gets in the way.

Ötzi the Iceman RPF: Persistence by lferion
Ötzi, Others | 1716 words, G, Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Summary: He wanted to live.

ETAAuthors 01.01.2014

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Cats of Grand Central - Diane Duane: A Night Out by Syksy
Rhiow, Urruah | 1518 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Rhiow and Urruah have a night off.

The Cat Who... series - Lilian Jackson Braun: The Cat Who Owned a Library by Jai
Jim Qwilleran, Polly Duncan, Kao K'o-Kung, Yum Yum | 3307 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: It's late fall 400 miles north of anywhere, and the library's new exhibit seems to be plagued with troubles. Qwill and his Siamese detectives are determined to get to the bottom of things. (Or possibly Qwill is determined to get to the bottom of things, and the Siamese are more interested in finding new bookshelves to nap on.)

Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey: Pieces of the Whole by astrokath
Original Characters | 5258 words, Teen, Character Death
Summary: Your dragon is with you for life, and loves you for life, no matter how badly you screw up. How do you adjust to that? What if you can't?

A Study in Emerald - Neil Gaiman: Counterpoint by misura
John Watson, Sherlock Holmes | 1081 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: “You are mad,” I told him, when he revealed to me his plan, but even as the words left my mouth, I knew that it was not so, for I had seen the face of madness often enough to be able to recognize it. One could not handle money and not see it, although many pretend otherwise. (pre-canon)

The Unusuals: second squad, this is delahoy, be advised by TLvop
Eric Delahoy, Leo Banks, Second Squad | 1669 words, Teen, Major Character Death
Summary: Everyone has to die. Delahoy wishes it wasn't such a big fucking deal.

ETAAuthors 01.01.2014

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Oglaf: Winter is Coming by Malkontent
Greir the Lesbian Mercenary, Snow Queen, Others, Greir/Snow Queen | 1621 words, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply
The Snow Queen has been kidnapped. The Lesbian Mercenary rescues her in her own inimitable style.

Sports Night: Once More, With Feeling by Roga
Jeremy/Natalie, Dan, Casey, Dana | 1626 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Five times Jeremy didn't propose to Natalie.

Temeraire - Naomi Novik: Call and Response by Grey_Bard
Perscitia & Temeraire | 2252 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: Dragons, higher education and excerable poetry...
Excerpts from the historic correspondence of Vice Chancellor Emeritus Perscitia OBE PhD PhD and the dragon Temeraire, circa 1870.

Temeraire - Naomi Novik: Requested and Required by keerawa
Temeraire, Iskierka, William Laurence, Granby, Iskierka/Temeraire | 2085 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Temeraire and Iskierka and matters of breeding and inheritance.

ETAAuthors 01.01.2014

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The Addams Family (1991): College First by kurushi
Wednesday Addams, Addams Family, OCs | 10 332 words, Not Rated, No Archive Warning Apply
Wednesday came home from college with an undergraduate degree in entomology, a postgraduate degree in forensic anthropology, a black leather trenchcoat, a long single braid down the middle of her back, a collection of campus warning signs, and twin seven-year-old girls called Scylla and Charybdis.

Cadfael Chronicles - Ellis Peters: The Unknown Postulant by dizzy_fire
Brother Cadfael, Sister Magdalen | 4798 words, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: A young postulant at Godric's Ford is found unconscious in the fields. It seems that she has sneaked out from the convent to escape an unwanted vocation. But Sister Magdalen has some doubts, and asks Brother Cadfael to help her get to the bottom of the mystery.

Discworld - Terry Pratchett: 'Tis Impossible To Be Sure Of Any Thing by karanguni
Havelock Vetinari, Death, Moist von Lipwig, Rufus Drumknott, Lu Tze | 6637 words, Teen, Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
'There are certain inevitabilities -'

NO, HAVELOCK. THERE IS ONLY ONE INEVITABILITY, the stranger cut Vetinari off. ME. Moist shuddered a little bit.

'Yes. However, we would like it if there were more.'

Hawkeye (Comics): Backup by thatbroadcast
Kate Bishop, Lucky, Clint Barton, OCs | 3009 words, G, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: She gets the text at two pm on a Tuesday.
KIDNAPPED NINJAS WARWICK HOTEL BRING BACKUP BATTERY DYING CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT

Nero Wolfe - Rex Stout: Twice Removed by astolat
Archie Goodwin, Nero Wolfe, Lily Rowan, Saul Panzer, Inspector Cramer, Archie/Lily | 3730 words, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: "I fully recognize it's beneath you," I told him, having given him a sketch of Lily's problem. "The necklace is only worth a measly twenty or thirty grand, and it's not as though you've ever considered yourself in Miss Rowan's debt — "

"Grrh," Wolfe said, so I took it that my point had been made and moved on.

ETAAuthors 01.01.2014

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