Sweet Chaos

(Edited 5 Oct 2007)


I'd like to see that I've grown past drama, grown more wise in my age, and learned my lessons. But really, I haven't. If you wish to friend me, you must know me, somehow, somewhere, sometime.

I can be careless, I can be heartless, I can be depressed, I can be happy. I can be me. Come in if you'd like to see it.

Why do I write?

Is it something that I'm compelled to do? Or is it something that is expected of me because I graduated from college with a BA in English, and thus must write creatively? Or is it because I want to go back to school and get a Master's in publishing or creative writing?

I had thought about making this into a poem, but I'm still not quite sure as to how to pull it off. I mean, my thoughts are my thoughts. My language is my language. So, how do I make my language seem to flow in a rhythmic manner, like poetry? Or do I simply write prose and see how that goes?

A writer once stated that in order to be a true writer, you carry a pen and paper with you at all times. If that is so, then I must not be a real writer anymore, since I no longer carry a notebook with me (though I always carry a pen, just an occupational hazard of being disabled), but when I do get the inspiration to write, I usually have a ready access to a computer, or I can type to myself on my phone when needed. So then, am I a real writer because I can usually find a source to write my words down, or is paper and a pen a must?

So, do I write because people expect me to? No. I don't. Do I write because I graduated with an english degree? No. I don't. Do i write because I feel I must? Not at the moment....but I want to feel like I must write every day, without fail, or I will not be able to lose myself into my words and make it come alive. So, then....do i write because I am compelled to do so, due to a variety of circumstances that I find myself in? yes. I do. I feel compelled to write because I want to consider myself a writer. I want to ruminate on my words, my language, and see how it fits int he world as a whole.

I write because I am a writer. I say I am a writer because I write. It is time to make that come true. By writing and reading every day, learning the craft. Getting published would also be a good step forward, as well.

Tell me, anonymously:
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One criticism.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to your favourite song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. And a hint to who you are.

Heheheheh! This time, it's not f-locked, so yeah!

Tell me, anonymously:
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One criticism.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to your favourite song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. And a hint to who you are.

lmfao, lisa, the dogs had such funny reactions to bj! One dog is afraid of him, the other likes him! :) more to come later with pics!

I took it down for renovations. Those of you who are my hostees, please contact me directly so you can get your websites back. You can comment on the entry and give me your e-mail. They'll be screened, so nobody will be able to see it. =)

Sorry! I'm moving again.


(To someone: I'm only using this to get in touch with my hostees, ok?)

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief.
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-Robert Frost, Nothing Gold Can Stay


Friendships come and go, as we all change throughout the ages. Sometimes truer friends will remain, but sometimes friendships fizzes out. We all grow, and learn, and be who we all were meant to be. Oftentimes that means that the friends that we had at that moment in time, ages ago, will fade away, but never completely, and will always remain, in memories, photographs, journals, and stories.

Remember, our friends shape who we are, and what we do, but sometimes, there comes a place and time where we have to let go.

Man, I'm sick and tired of finals. I hate writing research papers. Can you believe that? An English major, hating to write research papers! Graaaaagh!

Galluadet protests are still going strong. There's a lot of opinions on it within the Deaf Community. My opinion? I still support the FSSA. I think they really do know what's best for the university this time around, and the BoT are refusing to acknolwedge that.

I do have a couple friends who disagree with me, but that's fine. I don't mind disagreements. It opens up a nice dialouge discussing about the issues that concern us. And of course, this is a issue that affects the Deaf/deaf community as a whole, since their actions are relfecting us as a whole to those who are not a part of the Deaf Community.

I'm reading Ridor's blog, Elisa's reporting, and whatnot, and while I understand that they may appear biased big time, I also understand that they are trying to get the word out, and show different views than what the news is saying (via the BoT and Fernandes' comments.)

That being said, I wonder how long it'll go on. School must be over for them, and they're still in D.C. I've heard that some students who were living in dorms needed to find a temporary place to stay at while the protest goes on and the school isn't in session, but I haven't heard much about it. I guess it's not as big of an issue as it could be.

Two people leaders from DPN have showed up and visited the Gally protests, and from what I understand, they're supporting the protesting. Hrm. Interesting!

With that being said, I'm gonna go ahead and sign off, and get back to BSing stuff for school. =)

Man, am I wishing I was in D.C. right now, it'd be interesting to see what's happening there right now. From what I hear, the protesting at Gally University (The only liberal arts university for the Deaf in U.S.) has been growing a bit today. Even the Faculty is joining in the protesting, and I've heard rumors of students UNENROLLING FROM THE UNI itself due to JKF's appointment!!!!

What I'm seeing from this is that it's more than just JKF. It's not just her, it's the Gally lead adminstration, I suppose. It's getting really interesting. I'm kinda wishing I was there with my father right now. (He's in D.C., I'm pretty sure he knows what's going on, though he doesn't keep updated on it.) I'll probably call my father tonight and see if he knows any more details about it.

I find that it's interesting that the students are protesting now, like they did 18 years ago when the BOT (Board of Trustees) appointed a hearing president who did not know anything about Deaf Culture as the president of the University. That resulted in King Jordan becoming president, and now, it's happening all over again, but this time, the reasons are different, I suppose.

I'm finding it very interesting, and I defnitely will be keeping updated on this as it progresses. It's been four days now, and it doesn't look like the protesting will be fading out anytime soon. THe students and the faculty has grouped up, and they have announced that they have a united goal and demands. I haven't really read into what they are, but it's good that they're united, and they're not using stupid excuses like "She doesn't say hi to us!" and whatnot most of the time. I'd really like to see the group build up a very strong argument.

I wonder what will happen in the next few days.

For more information, I check these blogs, and of course, I read a bit of the news (Washington Post more than others) and I'm currently trying to get a broad spectrum of blogs and see what the different perspectives are.

Ridor Live - I've been reading his blog posts, and he is OUTSPOKEN. I believe right now, he's in D.C. supporting the students. He is an alumni of the University.
Elisa's Xanga - This is the "minute-by-minute" updates of what's going on at Gally. It's so interesting to see how it turns out throughout the day. From what I hear, RIT/NTID students, at least some of them, are already going to D.C. to support the protests, even though they're starting into their last two weeks of school and are going to be starting finals soon!
Jeff Carlson's Xanga - I'm not too sure about him, but I keep seeing his name around the Gally protests a lot, so I'm guessing he's a student leader of a sort with a few others? EDIT: He's not a leader. But he is in Gallaudet area right now protesting, as well. Looks like he's friends with Eliza.

Those are just a few that I can give out right now. I'm currently looking to see if I can find more sites and update you guys on it, if anyone's interested. I know for sure that I'm interested!

(And yes, I know it's public. For the time being, all my posts related to the protesting will be public for anyone who's interested.)

This is going to be the first entry that's been made public in ages. The reasoning behind this? I feel that more and more people out there need to HEAR this.

The next president for Gallaudet University has been selected, since King Jordan is retiring at the end of this year after 18 years. The person selected? Jane K. Fernandes.

My first reaction when I found out? "Oh, damn, not HER!" - Something to that effect.

Why did I react that way? Because even though I DO not go to Gally, I feel that I am very much a part of the deaf community as a whole, and I have been reading comments about the three presidential candidates, and I honestly felt that the other two choices, Stern and Weiner would have been better choices.

Selecting JKF does nothing to unitie the deaf community as a whole. Just look at the protesting going on at Gally right now, it's a major uproar. Yes, there will always be disagreements about who should be the next president, but it should not be as dividisive as it is at the moment.

I was very pleasantly suprised that the deaf students/alumni at Gally were protesting the Board's choice for their president, and I fully support them in their protests.

All in all? I honestly felt that they should have chose a different person to be president, even though JKF's academic creditials are better. You have to find a balance between creditials, AND the opinions of the Deaf Community as a whole.

I've said my bit. I can go more into detail over the next few days, but this is what I feel right now.