Southern horoscope.
[Of course, I get grits...the one effing southern food I loathe. Pretty funny if you read 'em all.]
drunk dialing etiquette
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you"
4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something.
5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
6. Drunk texting is alright... if you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
8. You can also call this same ex and let him/her know, that you know, that he/she still loves you. Then explain to him/her that I would still love me too!
9. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
10. It is always a good idea to sing on someone's answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
11. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed... Never angry.
12. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that "you have a problem". [Not mine...they live too damn far away to do that shit.]
13. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it. [Isn't that the damn truth?]
14. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
15. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend's phone to do your dialing.
16. Drunk dialing to a foreign country is usually too costly to be a good idea. But if feel like if you don't call this person you'll just die, break rule 15 and use a friend's phone.
17. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
18. When dialing remember that "hanging out" at 3 in the A.M. usually doesn't involve cards it's probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when you're drunk..... "you want me to do what with your box? Play with it?"
19. Don't drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up with you blow drying your phone when you're far to drunk to be using electronics and you won't be able to drunk dial anymore that night.
20. Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa, or friend's parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes. The person on the other line always sounds cute, plus I think they are used to drunk dialers.
**If you choose to DRUNK Dial me...and you wake me up...it better be good!!!! **
2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you"
4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something.
5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
6. Drunk texting is alright... if you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
8. You can also call this same ex and let him/her know, that you know, that he/she still loves you. Then explain to him/her that I would still love me too!
9. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
10. It is always a good idea to sing on someone's answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
11. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed... Never angry.
12. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that "you have a problem". [Not mine...they live too damn far away to do that shit.]
13. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it. [Isn't that the damn truth?]
14. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
15. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend's phone to do your dialing.
16. Drunk dialing to a foreign country is usually too costly to be a good idea. But if feel like if you don't call this person you'll just die, break rule 15 and use a friend's phone.
17. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
18. When dialing remember that "hanging out" at 3 in the A.M. usually doesn't involve cards it's probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when you're drunk..... "you want me to do what with your box? Play with it?"
19. Don't drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up with you blow drying your phone when you're far to drunk to be using electronics and you won't be able to drunk dial anymore that night.
20. Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa, or friend's parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes. The person on the other line always sounds cute, plus I think they are used to drunk dialers.
**If you choose to DRUNK Dial me...and you wake me up...it better be good!!!! **
you know you drink too much when...
compliments
Kidnapped from 
pinkyliciouz.
One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you how great you are.
pinkyliciouz.One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you how great you are.
friends only
Sorry ladies & gents,
this post is to notify you that this journal is being changed to friends only, except for the occasional public post.
( Collapse )
Sorry that you'll have to log in to read the journal, but at least you won't have to remember to log in to leave a comment! *wink*
If you are not on my friends list and would like to be, feel free to comment.
♥ xx
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accomplished
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Something Corporate Fans...
SoCo is touring & guess what...they're coming to NC. Even better, to Wilmington!
For info click here!
For info click here!
OC quiz!
You scored as Anna. No one understands you. Your life revolves around being different and probably excessive romantic allusions. Stop being so self absorbed and put greater emphasis on examining the sensibility of your behavior to avoid simply becoming an abstract narcissist.
What OC character are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
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amused
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brothers in arms
dunno who is into video games, but
here is a trailer for the game brothers in arms.
think military style game
here is a trailer for the game brothers in arms.
think military style game