fake

I went to the salvation army on 80 whatever and cicero and i nearly peed my pants. I have not been to a thrift store in probably at least over 6 months, maybe a year, and I was very surprised to see that the place was almost twice as big as the last time I had been there. It's an overabundance of creative possibilities. I love being back home because the thrift store in dekalb was disgusting and had like bugs in everything. There was this really cool pink chair I was thinking about getting for my room but Ive got billz so that will have to wait. I found 3 dressers I could see having in my room. Each of them were about $45. When I walked in there was this beautiful white antique looking one with blackish handles that was incredible looking but it was $200. Carazy. Anyways, perhaps I can't live in the city but living in Oak Lawn right now is so close to the city that it's really not a big deal. I gotta get back in school.

I love being single. I lose touch with all the things i enjoy when i'm in a relationship. I become too concerned with the relationship and the wellbeing of the relationship and whether it's really going somewhere or really what I'm looking for that it like consumes my life. I think I keep dissecting it because a relationship is not what I'm looking for because alex forced me into a routine where i depended on him for my confidence and when we broke up I kept looking for someone else to give me back my confidence. I need to be responsible and learn how to be in a healthy relationship and quit wasting my time with losers and buttmunches working on relationsihips i dont intuitively want in the first place. Gah.

I've got bills up the ass. I didnt think i had to appear in court and i just got a bill from them saying now i owe $250. blah.

I am starting to pay back my student loans.

The only reason I went to the thrift store today was because i can't afford normal furniture anywhere else but I'm glad that my situation is actually causing this because for some reason i'm really enjoying these alternatives to my routine.

I have a bill folder now. Thanks to suze orman. I'm becoming an organized woman. Soon I will kick my bills' asses and I'll be able to go back to school, finish my degree in music ed and live it up with a day job doing something cool. Right now i have a night job doing something cool so that's not so bad at all but health insurance and a schedule that isn't in conflict with most other working people's schedules would be nice.

I'm so glad it's warm enough to enjoy life and do things again. Spring time is the only time i feel like dressing like a girl.

oh and i bought a dress.

1. What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?
PTSD is a real illness. People may get PTSD after living through a disturbing or frightening experience. It can be treated with medicine and therapy.

You can get PTSD after you have been:

Raped or sexually abused
Hit or harmed by someone in your family
A victim of a violent crime
In an airplane or car crash
In a hurricane, tornado, or fire
In a war,
In an event where you thought you might be killed, or
After you have seen any of these events.
If you have PTSD, you often have nightmares or scary thoughts about the experience you went through. You try to stay away from anything that reminds you of your experience.

You may feel angry and unable to trust or care about other people. You may always be on the lookout for danger. You can feel very upset when something happens suddenly or without warning.

2. When does PTSD start and how long does it last?
For most people, PTSD starts within about three months of the event. For some people, signs of PTSD don’t show up until years later. PTSD can happen to anyone at any age. Even children can have it.

Some people get better within six months, while others may have the illness for much longer.

This is part of my effort to submerge myself in French Culture while still living in Dekalb and ace my fucking french class.

French Language-prepare to die.

ok.

I officially as of today have a 21 year old french pen pal named Aurelien that I am only speaking to in French.

I rent french films on a regular basis.

1 hour of french studying a day that includes:
-10 minutes of rosetta stone
*20 minutes of listening to French a day. (french news, french movie, french music)
-15 minutes of review flash cards (vocab from before this week)
*15 minutes of studying french we went over in class today
*half an hour making vocab french flashcards for this week
-10 minutes quizzing through French flash cards for this week.

*FRENCH NEWS CHANNEL to put in favorites tonight:

http://www.bfmtv.fr/

I should check out french for dum

I have never felt as free as I did going to concerts any given day of the week with my parents money.


I've had a good life.

I forgot how much I really need livejournal.

slowly unfolding

phoning
lying
manipulating
buying her lunch.


meeting
wrestling
fucking
kissing

cheating
breaking
losing...
face to face through it all

halloween when i was at work, last tuesday when i was at work, for the past 6 months.

jane doe,anetta,kristin(3 seperate girls)
equals=
leaving my best friend

i am working full time this whole week and next weekkkkkkkkkkkk










CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

pretty soon ill be starting school again. credit cards will own you. i need to work all week to pay off my credit cards. anyone readig this thinking about a credit card DONT BUY THAT LAPTOP. DONT GO ON THAT SHOPPING SPREE. CUT THE CREDIT CARD INTO 86 EQUAL PIECES AND PLACE IT IN THE GARBAGE CAN. broke is better less than broke and owned.

im kind of having fun though. (not with the credit card though)
goodbye

I CANT STOP EATING and i miss my old self when i used to not pretend to have friends and read self help books. and have fun all the time.YEAH

santa left me a voice mail last nite. BEAT THAT.

well i finished my movie for my class.im satisfied with it. It's about a thief that messes with the wrong man!

it was really funny yesterday. there was this girl in my film class who kept freakin out cause she wanted to make a movie for the final project and she spent a hundred and fifty bucks on it but her camera broke so she couldnt make it and she had to write a paper. she kept talking to me about it she's like "IM SO UPSET BECAUSE MINE WAS GONNA BE WAY BETTER THAN ALL OF THEM!!!in the beginning it said low budget films and it had a picture of a little kid holding up the low budget film sign written in CRAYONS! it was so cute! im so upset...it was going to be a remake of rumplestiltskin cfause i used to teach at this kindergartedn and we'd read the kids stories and stuff." her faces were really funny too...

I need somewhere to go tonite. if you do too lets go to harlem corners. call me 708 769-4568.

I feel like school is winding down i cant wait til winter break i wanna take a vacation but most likely wont have the money too. maybe somethin cheap and not far from here. like... michigan/wisconsin/??. maybe ill just save upfor the california trip.

I wanna get my eyebrows done and ride a bike.