Dan's Livejournal

My name is Dan. I'm incredibly tall. I can palm two basketballs with one hand. I know all the words to "Baby Got Back," "Jump Around," "the National Anthem of Greece," "Stayin' Alive," "Bohemian Rhapsody," and "It's All About the Pentiums." I once pole vaulted over the Statue of Liberty. I created a small drug cartel branching out in Mongolia which has since become the 3rd largest opium and barbituate cartel in the world (I've since passed on the legacy to my wingman back in 'nam to become a novelty pharaoh in the Luxor). I've spat on the grave of the man once revered by 6 people as the next Lyndon B. Johnson. I've created six and a half temples (the seventh was stolen), all of which are built to praise gods mentioned only in old video games. I've once lifted the weight off of Atlas just so he could sit down and have himself a Red Bull. I won the jackpot in Final Jeopardy but forgot to take the money home.

I saved an anthill from total annihilation, and they have since called me their leader. I sometimes have them get me things from the fridge but that usually takes too long and I lose my appetite. One time I ate a dingo -- but not on purpose.

Tony Robbins asked me for advice and I told him to write down his number and I'll get back to him. I never did. That was 14 years ago.



"When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say 'Oh shit, I'm sorry I thought paper would protect you Asshole.'"

Wanna freak someone out? Put this in your good friend's .bash_profile:

clear
echo 'Microsoft Linux XP [Version 5.1.2600]'
echo '(C) Copyright 1985-2001 Microsoft Corp.'
echo
export PS1='C:`pwd | sed "s|/|\\\\\\\\\\|g" | sed "s|+|/|"`> '</font>

My name is Dan. This is my motivation.

I will only add you back if you comment to one of my posts. Don't add me blindly and expect me to add you back. I'm not on livejournal to make friends, but I'm not entirely against it either. I can be opinionated to a fault and it has been known to cause problems. Despite all of that I still couldn't possibly give a shit if this upsets you. So add me if you want but do me the courtesy of saying something because unless you have something interesting to say to me, I have no desire to read anything you write.

I have a facebook profile. It is a million times better than myspace. Be my friend:



If you don't like me, eat a bag of hell and I hope your kids do heroine.



HA HA