everything that is wrong with america
the baby-eating communist gazette
Account with the “Professional” package enabled
Journal created:
on 20 November 2002 (#784629)
Updated:
on 11 October 2025
Name:
devourer of nations (or whatever's in your fridge)
Website:
"I'm not looking for logical solutions, Utahraptor! I look now only for SYMPATHY RAGE." - Ryan North (AKA T-Rex, in Dinosaur Comics)
I went friendslocked again for certain reasons. If you feel the need to read my posts, just lemme know. We now return you to your regularly scheduled userinfo...
A woman hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to do Larry.
-the bible of spicedrumtology
spicedrum mathTM:
Iceman + Slider = my kind of bread in a Me Sandwich
by popular request, in response to a question from a meme by world-famous
ethrosdemon:
3. If you were a god, which one would you be, and what sorts of offerings would you accept from your worshippers in order to answer all their pathetic pleas?
I would be the God of Rum. What the fuck else would I be?
I would accept offerings of Rum (duh) and salty snacks that taste good with Rum. Also, chicken: cooked. Chicken, prepared in a variety of ways, tastes really good with rum. Ask anybody who's been to the Caribbean.
My followers would probably be college students and that toothless guy from the end of the bar that doesn't shower, so they pretty much have the same concerns:
Number One I would sometimes grant, depending on how annoying and/or entertaining the hangover is. If they're the type to lie on the bathroom floor and cry between visits to the porcelain god (He's a minor deity with a very unorganized religion that has some very unsanitary rites, so I'm not worried about him stealing my followers. Fucker needs to take a shower before he comes to visit next time, though.), then they stay in hangover city. That shit's comedy gold.
Number Two I would also grant sometimes, but only if the hottie has syphilis. (I have to test my followers and see if they're intelligent enough to wrap their willie. If not? Natural selection, baby!)
Number Three, never. Nobody ever picks the correct salty snacks to appease my whims when they ask me to cure their syphilis.
_________
I AM NOT PRODUCTIVE IF I CANNOT ROCK OUT.
I went friendslocked again for certain reasons. If you feel the need to read my posts, just lemme know. We now return you to your regularly scheduled userinfo...
A woman hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to do Larry.
-the bible of spicedrumtology
spicedrum mathTM:
Iceman + Slider = my kind of bread in a Me Sandwich
by popular request, in response to a question from a meme by world-famous
ethrosdemon:3. If you were a god, which one would you be, and what sorts of offerings would you accept from your worshippers in order to answer all their pathetic pleas?
I would be the God of Rum. What the fuck else would I be?
I would accept offerings of Rum (duh) and salty snacks that taste good with Rum. Also, chicken: cooked. Chicken, prepared in a variety of ways, tastes really good with rum. Ask anybody who's been to the Caribbean.
My followers would probably be college students and that toothless guy from the end of the bar that doesn't shower, so they pretty much have the same concerns:
- Oh, great god of Rum, please hear my prayer and cure my hangover. *pukes in toilet*
- Oh my god, let me score with that hottie over by the jukebox.
- Please, please, please don't let me have syphilis.
Number One I would sometimes grant, depending on how annoying and/or entertaining the hangover is. If they're the type to lie on the bathroom floor and cry between visits to the porcelain god (He's a minor deity with a very unorganized religion that has some very unsanitary rites, so I'm not worried about him stealing my followers. Fucker needs to take a shower before he comes to visit next time, though.), then they stay in hangover city. That shit's comedy gold.
Number Two I would also grant sometimes, but only if the hottie has syphilis. (I have to test my followers and see if they're intelligent enough to wrap their willie. If not? Natural selection, baby!)
Number Three, never. Nobody ever picks the correct salty snacks to appease my whims when they ask me to cure their syphilis.
_________
I AM NOT PRODUCTIVE IF I CANNOT ROCK OUT.
adam clayton, aeryn sun, angel, b movies, bad movies, bad tv, blip the monkey, boba fett, bono, books, bruce campbell, buffy the vampire slayer, captain jack sparrow, captain morgan spiced rum, cheggers the wonder goldfish, darth vader, dean winchester, dulling sharp objects, dvds, eric northman, evil pirate monkeys, exit, fairy tales, farscape, food, foxtrot, fred weasley, george weasley, greek mythology, he-man, ian mckellen, iharthdarth, indiana jones, jack bristow, john crichton, johnny cash, johnny depp, kindle, krycek, larry mullen, limes, lord of the rings, melissa2u, metallica, moltar, movies, mulder, music, my fluffy soft pillow, mythology, narnia, nwwteiohpoa, orlando bloom, potatoes, potc, reading, rhindon, riverkidsproject dot org, sam and dean, sam winchester, scully, sharpening dull objects, space ghost, stalking embitca, star wars, supernatural, the daily chegwin, the edge, the rolling stones, the x-files, trilogy tuesday, u2, viggo mortensen