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Hello everyone,

I don't really know even how to start this post....  I've been living outside of US for the past several years.  My son, who turned 3 in September, has been diagnosed this August.  I am planning right now a move back to Pennsylvania, where I grew up and where my parents and most of my family live.  The main reason is that I want my son to have grandpa and grandma in his everyday life.  They are very warm, loving, and giving people, and they get through to him.  I want my son to get the maximum intervention at this crucial age.

He is now in specialized daycare and also works with an SLP at home twice a week.  There are also some pension and disability money and discounts on specialists.

Where do I start with all that in US?  Are there kinder-gardens that are covered by some government plan?  Are there private kinder-gardens for kids on the spectrum? Is there money allotted and from which agencies?  How are SLP, motor skills and other specialists covered?  Is there a page (or pages)  that has all the relevant links and information that I  should look at?

I will appreciate any comment and any information.

Thank You

Cross posted in aspecialparent

My NT son had a choir performance at school, so we were waiting for the program to start. The "crowd" was small and the noise level negligible. My autie was complaining about the noise and saying he hates crowds. Honestly, there wasn't anyone within 10 feet of us. He had been sick, so I can understand that he was on edge. However, we are trying to get him to understand that other people have the right to be places, talk in those places, etc, and that he has to learn to deal with it. When it is not overwhelming, he can force himself to calm down for the sake of his brother's ONE performance. But, since he had been sick, I gave him the option of waiting in the hall for us. He declined.
I told him he has to learn to adapt. He responded, "I can adapt." This sent hubby and I into fits of laughter. We are going to make a shirt for him that reads: I am autistic and I can adapt, as long as EVERYTHING is exactly MY WAY!

Have just sent my aspie teen (age 14) back to the shop to buy a copy of the play he is doing for the Jr Cert(exams at the end of middle school). He tried once already and failed, he couldn't find it on the shelf and didn't ask a staff member.

He really didn't want to go, I really didn't want to have to force him but these days there are not that many things which challenge him in that way and when they happen I have to be cruel to be kind.

He needs to be able to commit acts of commerce with confidence and to be able to ask questions of relative strangers. He should come back with the quest completed and I don't doubt that he will be pissed off with me for the rest of the day, but that's part of the parenting job and I bet if it was going into Gamestop to buy a new Halo game he'd manage it.

The shop is a mere 10 minutes walk and he's comfortable enough going to the shopping centre for other items. He just didn't want to leave the xbox after a full day of school.

Is anyone or has anyone been struggling with this and their teen?

Introduction: I'm a 20-year-old college student on the autism spectrum. I'm not a parent (yet), but I was a child on the spectrum myself.
My friend alonglongtime is working very hard on stopping "wandering" from becoming a medical diagnosis. Sign the petition here: http://www.change.org/petitions/te…

There is more information about this wandering proposal here: http://www.autisticadvocacy.org/mo…

Commentary on this proposal closes April 1st, so act now!

It’s funny the challenges that come with having a kid on the spectrum but with them also come victories and hope.

Yesterday as I am swamped with this cold, and my co parent was gone out, I made a list of bits for D to go and get for me at the local shop. It’s only 5 mins away and he is 13; but on the list was something he’s not bought before and would be a challenge for him. Due to his ASD (Aspergers Disorder) I do have to push his comfort levels to get him to do things he’s back out of otherwise.

In this case it was to go to the fresh baked bread display and get one of the Vienna rolls he likes so much. Thinking about it made him nervous, he has in his head all the things which can go wrong and people might be looking at him. This sort of stuff is par for the course with him. He came back with out it, but with everything else on the list, so I was happy enough.

The he said ‘Damnit, Mam can I go back over and get the bread? I failed last time and I really like that bread, so I want to go try and get it again’. I was so proud, of him and even if he didn’t come back with it, the fact he pushed himself to go over and even to pass by the people he just passed by on the road and to see the shop assistants again in such a short space of time is a huge step for him. A year ago the idea that people would think it odd to see him going back over the shop or that they would think he failed and so had to go back was too much for him to bear.

So off he went and he came home with the loaf and after two slices settled down to do his homework. I am so pleased and proud, I know it’s just a loaf of bread but the fact he choose to go back over and did it with no fuss or no prompting means a lot to me, makes me more hopeful for him living a fuller life and not being stuck in the same routine all the time.

My Grand Dad used to say, we don’t own our children, we are entrusted with them for a short time and we teach them their first steps and one day they will walk way from us to their own lives.

I pretty much take the fact that I have to prepare and skill up my kids to be able to walk away and start their own lives independent of me as my parenting mission statement. It was before I knew my son was on the autism spectrum, and it hasn’t changed. Yes it means that it’s more complicated, there are slightly more hurdles and certain things are harder on him and us as a family but days like yesterday give me hope and let’s me know I am getting it right, well at least some of the time.

For those of you who have been following, we got a new caseworker in August. After a year of being told Chance would lose his Disability benefits if he lived with us again (yes, he qualified while living with us, but being returned to us he doesn't? I guess they found the magic cure for autism), our new caseworker told us he doesn't lose his benefits. So, the last 6 months have been spent in preparation for his return to our legal custody. He has been living with us since Dec 3, and court was 14 March. He is now legally ours again. FINALLY!!!

He gets to stay in his school/day treatment, he keeps his after school program 3 days a week, and we get 6 hours respite a week.

If we'd had half of that 3 years ago we could have avoided all this mess. Who's doing the respite, you ask? The same company that does the after school program, did respite for the foster parents, and managed the foster parents. The same company that I asked our old caseworker, "Why can't they do that for families?" and she told me they are only licensed for foster care. Humph!

All I can say is Thank heaven she wanted to go back to school. Maybe she can learn how to do her job better for the next family. In the mean time, YAY!!!

I even got a call from Chance's speech therapist at school telling me how much better he's doing in everything since he came home in December. I wish she would have told the guardian ad litem and the judge. I'm so glad to be away from all the accusations and edicts from people who are supposed to do what's best for my son, but never asked what he's had or what he needed.

I'm also very glad to have my son back in my home, where we love him. He says we don't yell any more than the foster parents did, and we don't call him names. (but they were the icons of parenting)

Ok, amid all the gladness, I'm still pissed off. I'll get over it. And it put us in a position to offer counsel and comfort to our neighbors who are going through something similar, only their son has problems so much more extreme. Our hearts go out to them.

Long post for good news. But, hey. GOOD NEWS!!!

x-posted as usual to aspecialparent and spectrum_parent

I have a question for those with kids on the spectrum:
Did your child hit puberty at an expected age? Or did he/she reach puberty late? If late, how late? Were there any issues other than PDD involved, like glandular issues, weight issues, other hormone deficiencies, or any type of heavy metal toxicity?

Does your child have any issues other than an autism spectrum disorder that might have affected it?

My son is 15 and showing no signs of puberty. Well...I take that back. He gets a stupid grin on his face when he talks about girls, but his NT brother has been doing that since age 8-9. No acne, no facial, pit, or pubic hair, no cracking or deepening voice.

Just looking for feedback, like a poll.

Thanks in advance.


x-posted aspecialparent and spectrum_parent

He's 15 and atypical. People don't see an autistic kid. They see a spoiled teenager acting like a toddler. How do I get him to not throw a tantrum when the answer is NO? It's embarrassing as hell. Why can't he just follow the rules? Is it really so difficult for him to stop talking when he's been told to be quiet? Honestly, why is NO the trigger for major tantrums, EVERY SINGLE TIME?
Two Sundays ago he wanted a sucker in the morning before church. We said no. This launched into him gagging and hacking and coughing and spitting because his mouth was dry and water didn't fix it. Without trying it, he knew better than his parents (who have NEVER in their ENTIRE lives had a dry throat) that gum and a cough drop were useless. The only thing that would fix it was a sucker. All through church we got dirty looks and glares from him. We weren't allowed to touch him or talk to him. He'd jerk away from us if we tried to talk to him. Several times he got up and walked out. Later, of course, it wasn't about the sucker. He was just in a bad mood because he didn't feel well. Felt fine after church. Felt fine before church, until we said he couldn't have a sucker.
The week before it was a radio he wanted. He really needed it because none of his other radios work. This was news to me since he'd had the headphones on so loud in the car that my husband and I couldn't hear each other over them. He got rude and nasty with us over the stupid radio. That was Saturday night. We paid for that all through church the next day.
Today, it was over lunch. His brother wanted Subway, and he said ok, until we said he couldn't have chips or a cookie. Then he didn't want a sandwich. The argument ensued. When we told him to stop arguing, he got snotty and flippant. We told him to stop being disrespectful, and the tantrum began, full of sarcasm.
How does one deal with it? Are there any tricks to helping him get it about rules and consequences? When will it click that the consequences are because of his actions?

I saw this link on a cat group and knew I had to share it here. Great story. Reminds me of a cat our autistic son found. Animals are amazing gifts.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/…