Onýttur heili settur a brjóst

[excerpt from an email to my favorite man-on-earth little jace-pace woerner]
i found a new home. i can't wait to tell you about it. it is made of stone and mud-- on the national historical registry-- halfway up the side of a mountain, on a farm, with all original pre-1900 fixtures and wood slab walls and cabinets and wood floors... it is surrounded by a rock wall, and i have a huge yard with a cacti forest, an apricot tree, and endless grapevines. there is also a strategically placed clawfoot bathtub in the yard, which is according to my landlord: "for when you have a party! you can like, fill it with ice and cold beers and sodas for all of your friends!" i love life suddenly. i love this! ps: guess how much rent is? $425 a month!!! WITH UTILITIES AND FREE CABLE INCLUDED!!! i love watching cable in ancient relics. it truly makes so much sense. also, there is a gigantic glassed-in front porch (like a greenhouse) that stretches the whole front of the house, and i will have peacocks and horses... and my own two separate entrances and driveway. all i have to do is tend the yard a little bit, and launch my city-girl-booty back into ancient rustic times of yore. i am sooooo excited. even mom and grammy approve! i will post pictures online soon. pps: the "town" that it is located in (town meaning: my house, two others, and a cafe) is called ORGAN. what??? i will live in a place called ORGAN, NEW MEXICO, and my address will be like, for example, something very close to:

Rosemary Tran
100 Highway #70
Organ, NM 88005

holy shit jace-pace. this is king central, if you know what i mean!!! i will be a farmer of the mexican rural past, planted in an ancient ruin, halfway up the mountain, with a view that overlooks the entire Mesilla Valley and then extending desert-- oddly 40 miles directly west of the NASA headquarters and White Sands gypsum desert. weird weird weird. so, alas, i will be staying here. i found my dreamhouse you know? it's a must now. ppps: not to throw something insane out there, but a few days after our conversation (i think that makes it yesterday) Livia called me to tell me that she is very very sorry, and she bought me the motorcycle i have been looking at... the one i have the photo of on my myspace. now i have a motorcycle hanging over my head too-- but unfortunately, it is the most beautiful piece of machinery on the planet, so can't easily be ignored. 1970 Honda, with twin tailpipes, deep red and cream, two-seats, 175 cc's, just perfect. who knows where this will go. who knows.

xoxo always and always,
rose-bose

ps: FOR ALL, HERE IS A PHOTO OF MY NEW BIKE (WITH MATCHING HELMET):

Jacer--
This subject line is my new favorite sign that I saw today. Ahhh, Las Cruces and your handwritten scrawlings of joy. You make Rosemary feel so sustained on word power.

It seems like you are having an amazing time in Thailand, despite the loneliness. All of your photos are so interesting and filled with action, and I feel like I would not be wrong in guessing that you have slept with many hot men. That is great, because I figure that would be one of the highlights for a certain Jace-Pace, when actualizing a plan for Thai-living. Congratulations on carrying it out! I am proud of you. I went gay clubbing in El Paso on Friday night, but paid a high price for it, in that, I arrived home with numerous hateful messages from ol' Livs, and two days of thinking that she had officially broken up with ME because I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER!!! It was a horrible weekend really. Though not surprisingly, after two days of treacherous throwing up (really!) and crying and hating myself although I knew it would have been for the best anyway-- she called me up and told me that she in fact DOES want to be with me, and is still planning on visiting Nov. 17th. Surprise surprise. Why do I let myself get so worked up anyway? It always turns out like that. Although, my punishment apparently (or I can choose this punishment, which obviously I haven't because I am sitting here right now typing to you) is that I can't go to the public library, because that is where the dyke works, the one who took my ass to El Paso on Friday. Oops. My bad. Keep it on the D.L.

The space and the expansive sky here in Las Cruces has kept me slightly occupied. I went to photograph a flooded pecan grove and a cotton plantation (I know! Who me? Nature photography? Dag.) and I slipped in three inches of mud. At the time I was wearing a marching band outfit that I bought at the thrift store, but was so deep in the photo-mode I just kept on driving around in my mud-suit. I hope I produce quality numbers from that trip. Also, Wednesday night is the Dia de los Muertos procession in Old Mesilla, so I am going to try to take pictures there. Unfortunately I am still a white person, and it will be ridiculously obvious that I am just trying to feel a little bit of culture, that of which my skin-power has allotted me none. Still, on Sunday, right before Livia decided she likes me again, I went to a Zapatista market, and bought a hand stitched handkerchief from a little guy-- it is so beautiful, and says "Luchadora me Mujer Zapatista." So cute I could just shoot myself. And so, maybe I just will.

Grammy and Mom will be here soon. Hurray hurrah. That should be vaguely awkward as usual. I think one of the main points of them coming here is to convince me that I should stay for as long as possible (fat chance!) which I guess would imply good intentions on their part, but right now I just don't really want to hear it. At least I will get to eat delicious food on their peso though, and maybe they will see just how desolate it really is. Man, remember that first night we pulled into this town? I thought that I must have made the biggest mistake in my life. And now, I just figure it is a "happy little accident." Something to benefit from, but something that ultimately sucks too.

How is your job? Yes, I do work at a cafe that features the elusive Bubble Tea. Somehow it is the "cool place" to be, which is NOT saying much for this crap-factory. But at least it is super-easy. And my boss says that I make the best coffee she has ever had, so she has banned all other employees from making espresso drinks, and now I am the king of that. Ha ha land. Seattle rules you.

There is not much else to talk about really. You've been here-- you've seen it. It is strange and occasionally fantastic in it's scenery and weather-- but the people are downright stupid and out-of-touch. Also, the community is obviously extremely conservative and anti-Muslim-- and it's one of those places in America where no one realizes that a war is going on. And this is okay for the Latino population, because they are constantly at war with the man, getting paid a riotous $3.00 an hour for hard labor, and living in ancient adobe shacks. But for everyone else-- this is an unexcusable joke and makes me hate this country and state all the more. You are so lucky to not be here (although you are punished for not living one second away from me, so we can be best friends again.)

Dag yo. DAAAAAG.
--Rosemary

this is what life really means to me right now. other than this, not much.

i would just like to burst back on the scene temporarily with my new and totally cool and totally radical list of the top ten songs in my little nuevo mexicano life. and if your name is edward, and you are reading this, just know that i am a socialist now, and that i live on the mexican border where there are little revolutions happening every day.

*Top 10 Songs (for now)*
1. "Gimme Danger" -Iggy Pop
2. "Play Dead" -Bjork
3. "Jesus Is Just Alright" -the Byrds
4. "Nevertheless" -Brian Jonestown Massacre
5. "#6" -Sigur Ros from "Takk"
6. "Weight Of the World" -Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
7. "Shadowtime" -Siouxsie and the Banshees
8. "Black" -Bonnie Prince Billy ("our lives are ruled by enmity and i can't weaken that")
9. "She's Gone" -Hall & Oates
10. "Blue" -Joni Mitchell

damn, this list makes me look like a sure candidate for honky-ass of the year, eh? damn white people. damn it!

i'm pretty sure that i am a little bit drunk still, and a lot hungover. strange thing is that-- i just took my final quiz in international relations, as well as a test on the ENTIRE WORLD MAP!!! hello? and i'm drunk? luckily i think i only missed Zambia and maybe a few of those guys down there, and possibly Syria because the map was so distorted Syria didn't look like itself at all. i might have gotten it right though.

jason and i and soren were taking shots at Neighbors last night, after already going to R Place, and the 311 Crepe place, and the Crescent (for Ursula Android's dj set.) it was jace-pace's birthday, and we celebrated! tonight we are going to Cherry at the War Room. sorry i sound like a dumb scenester. i am just excited to be going out. plus, um, dykes at the War Room? hello!!

yep, still a little drunk. cool guys. cool.

sometimes i want livia to die so badly i can almost taste it.

and:
"As for Livia............Getting an unlisted # would be a good start to getting her out of the picture. Call them today and see what it takes to get that done. It's probably and easy process. Don't let her get to you. Remember she is the one with the problem, not you.

Great and getting better, Mom"

i have decided that for two seconds i look nice. my face is tanned and livia telling me that i am fat and ugly, well, that was the catalyst to my confidence. she is absurd, and i know that i look a'ight. plus, kris said he can tell that i have lost weight, and jason says that my face looks amazingly chiseled. hurrah! livia failed and i won.

soren is taking me to a modern string quartet tonight that is playing at the triple door. boo-yah world. moving on up.

next week: benjamin and berkeley and the mars volta...

alright party people-- in exactly one week i will be waking up in berkeley california having just seen my favorite band in the whole universe perform my favorite set of all time. i have read so far that they are playing huge jams off "frances the mute" and "(the haunt of) roulette dares" is still in the mix, along with "eriatarka" "take the veil cerpin taxt" etc. and classical salsa musicians are making guest appearances at shows for productions of "l'via" (my sweetheart.) my uncle is taking me on a date to this show. he said he will even go into "the mosh pit" with me. but i told him not to get too excited, because instead it will probably be a "dance pit" or a "head nodding pit" if the audience are too cool for school. he said that then we can go out for drinks afterwards. the vaguely similar relationship of me going to concerts with a guy his age, and then going out for drinks, and having him pay for everything, reminds me so much of going out with Soren, that this situation seems a little weird. i have always had a crush on my uncle paul, because he is similar to my mom, without the hard-ass-ness, and he is a damn hippy, and has the biggest record collection on earth (about 30,000) and he is very soothing in many ways. and now we are seeing the mars volta together- and experience never to be gotten over. ahhhh!!!!

jace-pace and i are just about to head up to anacortes to visit kris. last night we went to the graduation party for all the masters degree art students at the uw. it was alright-- but the beer was kind of funky and i got astoundingly depressed towards the end and had to leave with a quickness before i just shot myself through the trees onto the freeway. life: drink it in.

jace-pace made the funniest joke ever last night. every person around us who heard it was practically rolling on the lawn after hearing it (we were making ridiculous mom-insult jokes, and this was his): i met your mom last night-- but she was too boring to have sex with. maybe it was a little funnier because we were drinking, but i think that shit its qual-i-ty!