Harry Potter didn't know what was worse.
For Snape to insist that one of his Slytherin students tutor him in Potions, and that Slytherin student to be...
Well. 'Feisty hot-tempered bitch' was what people complimenting her said of her...
Or that this Slytherin happened to be friends with someone that, for some odd reason, made him even MORE nervous.
Oh, Xanne Malloy wasn't particularly MEAN to Gryffindors. Unlike his evil tutor, she didn't wear hairpins that were actually knives, or go around kneeing blokes in the groin (at least, he hoped not). She even smiled once in a while, and she had a stimulating, if slightly acerbic wit.
They'd been partners in Charms once, and though he managed to set her inkwell ablaze, she merely smirked and remarked that the Seamus Finnigan Syndrome was evidently contagious, and asked in an almost-sweet way if he'd affect an Irish accent for her, too.
He'd felt his face turn approximately the same shade as his Quidditch robes. She'd patted his hand, put out the blaze, and blithely continued her work.
"No, Potter, you do NOT bloody add three scoops of the bloody belladonna!" The acrimonious voice of Fallon Anderson, his Potions tutor, interrupted his thoughts and jerked him back to more unpleasant reality than the contemplation of Xanne Malloy touching him. Fallon was glaring at him, her dark eyes narrowed into slits of pure malevolence. "Unless you want to poison someone."
Harry put down the belladonna and gave a long-suffering sigh. "Sorry. Was thinking."
"About my friend's fine arse," Anderson finished for him, giving him a piercing look.
Harry choked. "Wha---?"
"I'm not STUPID," Anderson looked extremely put out, "I SEE you staring at her. Her blouse isn't see-through, by the way. And no matter how hard you gape, it won't become thus."
"I... don't..."
"Potter, do you realize how bloody easy it would be for me to truth-potion you and then make you spill your secrets in the Great Hall?"
He abruptly shut his mouth with an almost audible snap. Anderson continued. "What, afraid your ickle friends would disown you for eyeing a Slytherin?"
He muttered something rather vague about being suspicious, Slytherin's attitudes, etc.
"Not all of us are Malfoy, you know," Anderson sneered, "Although if Xanne WERE Malfoy, she'd probably drink whatever the hell that is you're making rather than come within ten feet of you."
"You can't say that she doesn't have ulterior motives for being nice to me!" Harry blurted out.
"Oh, she does," Fallon said lazily. "Motives that involve you, a broom closet, a few Silencing Charms, and... I'm pretty sure that chocolate sauce was involved, too."
Harry paled drastically.
"Never let it be said that Slytherins do anything halfway," Fallon said matter-of-factly. "You... are a hopeless muddle today. Longbottom could brew a better potion than you, and I've heard all the horror stories about HIM. Perhaps we should just give up for today before I feel the urge to strangle you for incompetence."
"Er... right," Harry muttered, his ears still burning from the broom closets and chocolate sauce comment. "Are you going to kill me for... er... associating with Xanne?" he asked rather meekly.
"For associating with her, no," Anderson said thoughtfully, "But if you ever cheat on her, hurt her in any way, or otherwise make her mopey and miserable, thereby bringing terror and obscene amounts of angsty poetry into our lives... let's just say that you'd WISH you were dead."
The Gryffindor nodded slightly, and backed away from his Potions tutor. Anderson was quickly and methodically putting Potions supplies away, and her face was turned away from his. But just as he was about to bolt, she gave one last statement. "Oh, and I hope that either your little... issues with Xanne... are resolved, next lesson... or you remember to take a bloody cold shower beforehand."
Harry gave a disgruntled sort of assent and left the room. Hmm... chocolate sauce or a cold shower... chocolate sauce or a cold shower...
Decisions, decisions...
He started walking towards the direction of the small music room that Xanne was known to frequent.
All hail le grande passion... for chocolate, of course!
Who was he kidding...
Now, what was that incantation for the contraceptive spell?