Plain Alec (White)

(mad_muses)"Like faith needs a doubt, like a freeway out."

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It was a progression of sorts.

First I only believed in science. After all that's all I was. Also I was young, stupid and ignorant. Yes they are different things.

Then there was a time, a long time, filled with silence when I believed what ever they told me I was going to believe.

After that, for a short time, I believed in myself.

If you ask I don't believe in the Virgin Mary. But this isn't to say that I disbelieve. When you get right down to it, what I really think on the subject is that her icons will always creep me out.

I do believe in the Blue Lady. When they first asked I don't know or care one way or the other. The last time they asked I lied and said I didn't believe. But they had taught me to. Because it's hard to fear what doesn't exist.

Then I didn't believe in God. It was about the same time that I realized that maybe I shouldn't believe in science either.

I did believe in love. That didn't work out for anyone.

I still believe in music though.

I think a lot of people that say they believe in God often just believe that they have more of a right to live than everyone else. Often what they really believe is hate. Not that I think I'm above hating. But I'll call a spade a spade.

By the time I realized that there was a God to believe in, I wad pretty damned sure that God didn't believe in me. That can really mess your shit up.

Then again having God believe in you isn't really easy either. You'd think it would be, right? I mean, the ultimate being paying attention. But the truth is that God is God. And that's a lot of pots to stir you know? So if God is looking right at you? You bet your ass that you're going to need all the help you can get.

I know I need help. God is a better cheat at poker than I am.

Muse: Alec McDowell Winchester/X5-494
'Verse: Wayward Sons
Fandom: Dark Angel
Word count: 351
Open to RP
Mirror image

(musebysentence) 493

First

Alec would never be first - he had long ago accepted that - but as he was the one still standing, still breathing, with sanity relatively intact, he figured that this time maybe last really wasn't least.

Muse: Alec McDowell/X5-494
'Verse: Open
Fandom: Dark Angel
Open to RP
Hiding

(on_thecouch) "There's this kind of anemone that sticks in your foot and the poison goes

(From greypicketfence. Alec is roughly nine. Here is the full RP)

Sooth

Alec was not a happy little camper. He wasn't even trying to hide it as he stood in line with the other kids from his class. They were mostly bouncing around, happy and eager. He, however, clung to his father's hand and practically hid behind him. He could smell the water even out here and he wasn't a fan. At all.

It had started with one innocuous compound word. Fieldtrip. It had set the other students off into fits of glee. The locations hadn't calmed them any, and Alec would admit to being curious. After all he had no idea what the hell an 'Aquarium' was. So he had asked Tanner who happened to be sitting right next to him.

He cut Tanner off after the basic descriptions of a 'huge place with lots and lots of water and fish. But inside so you can be right next to them.'. Alec hadn't wanted to hear any more. It sounded like a fucking nightmare.

He couldn't even take a bath, because he couldn't stand to be in the water. He was all about the showers from the first time Dean and Sam brought him home. He remembered the feeling of drowning and how easy it came up on him. Like the time that the tub drain had gotten clogged and the water from his shower had risen up around his feet.

And now they wanted him to just walk in to a place filled with water?

Where they all fucking crazy?

Muse: Alec McDowellWinchester/X5-494
'Verse: greypicketfence
Fandom: Dark Angel
Word count: 250
Broken

(musesandlyrics) "Something is scratching its way out. Something you want to forget abou

"The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not."- Grey's Anatomy

(Co-written with Dean's (jstliketherifle) mun. Angeline is Dean's NPC. This is a small part of a much bigger piece with can be found HERE)


She paused for a moment, confused at the response, before brushing it off. "Is there anythin' else you'd like to see, darlin'?"

He shook his head. "I remember it all anyway." Which was funny because he hadn't a few minutes ago.

Not so funny to her. She knew the human mind was a little tricky sometimes. She paused again, trying to figure out how exactly to word this. "Mind helpin' me with somethin'? Before we go home?"

He shrugged, more of a gangly teen no. "Sure."

She straightened so that she was standing again, before starting to lead him back down the hallway. She stopped in front of the jammed door, watching more of his face than the door itself. "Alec, where does this door go?" She asked it as gently as possible, though she knew that it was going to be hard to get an answer.

He was pressed back against the other wall. "I. . I don't know this room."

"No?" she asked, raising an eyebrow slightly as she placed a hand on the door lightly. Pain and fear radiated through it, but she didn't know why, and she knew it scared him on some level. "I've been in a few minds in my day, honey. Doors aren't supposed to be jammed like this."

( Collapse )

Muse: Alec McDowell/X5-494
'Verse: Wayward Sons
Fandom: Dark Angel
Word count: 2,143
Moment of weakness

(creative_muses) "Cain heard a cat tumble limp off the rooftop."

Desolate

(Set in a future section of the Wayward verse.)

He could have just asked God he supposed. But he figured that there might be some truth to that old adage 'God helps those who help themselves.'

So that’s what he did.

Ben wasn't answering his phone. Nor was he replying to Alec's text messages. Jinx still couldn't find him. Which led Alec to the inevitable conclusion that he was going to have to do things the hard way.

It took him the most part of a day. Heavy duty magic was like that. The candles had to be bees wax and made under the right conditions. The maps had to be purified. Silk had to cover the coffee table in the apartment he was staying in, because this was so not Alec's emotionally clean work room in Seattle. He had to buy everything new, because he hadn't brought hardly any of his supplies.

It wasn't like he had been thinking all that clearly. And he knew he still had to many moments where everything went sideways into that hazy indifferent that he used to keep himself at least partially functioning. Right now, though he was thinking clearly.

Seeing clearly. The way the silk gave his a clean slate and the salt leached all outside influence from the maps. The way the lit candles bent the elements around him ever so slightly to his will, spiraling. Searching. Just like the lode stone swinging in easy ever widening circles from the end of a small bit of shimmering black string. A little bit of blood crawled down the string towards the stone from Alec's deliberately cut fingertip as he held the end of the string.

Blood made every spell stronger. A willing sacrifice for a brother. Blood called to blood. The black string was made from some of Jinx's donated fur. Nothing outside of Heaven was better at finding people than Hell Hounds. Alec and Jinx sought Ben like the lodestone sought earth.

The stone circled and circled over the maps, and the candles burnt lower and lower as Alec poured ever increasing amounts of power down the blood line to search farther and farther out.

The candles eventually guttered out and Alec lost his composure. His brother was gone. He had tried so hard. To pick himself up one more time. To pull what was left of the family together. To carry on.

But he had failed and lost someone else. He should never have let Ben walk away.

He lay his head down amongst the maps, the melted candle wax, and other spell components and let the tears fall.

Muse: Alec McDowellWinchester/X5-494
'Verse: Wayward: The Time That We Have
Fandom: Dark Angel
Word count: 430