My journal of DOOM!

I still have a livejournal it seems. I would post more but life is a tad bland right now.

I've pretty much come to hate saturdays. Theres never anything for me to do and when there is chances are I won't like it. Out of boredom last night I got a new tattoo. Thats not to say I got it only because I was bored but played a part in it. Tuesday is coming up and there's a strong chance that I might be put on anti-depressant meds. I can already hear myself quoting placebo. When I was in high school I knew a girl named Jen she was a tad out there but had a great personality. She started taking prozak (sp?) and that all kinda went away. Leaves me worried the same might happen to me.

I know ann arbor is a trendy little city. I never thought it would be so dirty though. I had to clean a borders there and there was a gumspot on the floor every five inches. Lovely. I've been trying to be more social lately but I don't really like it. I know I wont meet people if I stay in my room all day. But I really don't have much fun at clubs or bars. I need to find another way to get out more. I have to work.

I can't keep doing this she said to herself. Looking into his eyes and wanting to be his again. I shouldn't have these feelings she thought. Gazing at lips longing to kiss them again. I told myself I didn't want that anymore she whispered. Staring at his arms she never wanted to leave. I can't believe I'm letting him do this to me her mind shouted. Eyes leaning towards his bed she wished they could live in. I should stop telling myself she thinks such things he said between sobs. Having visions of her with him in his empty room.

As much as I tried to be I'm not. I just always was who I am and did everything I could to make everybody around me happy. And right now no matter what I do I will never be happy myself and I can't think things will get better because all I ever wanted is gone. Thank you to everybody who has been there for me.

I decided that since I have actually been posting that I would need some more icons.

A few hours ago I made a post saying how I either want to save the world or destroy it. But heres why I can do no wrong. For all of the crap thats going on in it. War, murder, theft, rape and whatever amount of crimes are happening. It makes me sad and there are three choices I have. Do nothing, add to the chaos or spread hope. Doing nothing solves nothing. I would never feel right taking a life. But I have always smiled at the slightest sign of happiness. It gives me hope so I want to give hope back. Thats why I am going to hold a charity event which might be easier to do then I had first thought. We all have to live in this world. If people can make it a bad place to live in then theres no reason people can't make it a wonderful place to live in.

In theme of doing things to late I am going to start eating better. Its more a matter of mental health rather then physical. I heard it puts you in a better state of mind which is what I need right now. In other news I'm at a point in my life where I either want to save the world or destroy it. Anybody who knows me well enough can tell you which one I am more likely to do. Even if I was to rob a bank I would just end up giving the money to charity. Meh I have to do something. ;p

Does anybody want to write a movie with me?

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr bah meh heh