I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles In our eyes are mirror images

weeeeeeeeeeeeeee im in germany, its my third day here! its a bit loney since anthony is always at work but i do my best to keep busy. ive got a bit of house work to do but im taking my time, kinda of.... we got the german cable set up yesterday and its so weird, i finally found mtv but... i miss regular mtv. its gonna be 8am here and back home its gonna be 1am. i woke up and made breakfast at about 6:30am and now im just messing on the computer trying to figure out this damn city! i cant seem to find an online map of this place and its driving me crazy! i really need to figure out the bus and train system here cause its so confusing! i thought that signs would be in german and english, but nope, i was wrong! EVERYTHING is in german! even my food, all the labels are in german! ha, i dont know why i expected it different, im just in serious culture shock here! every morning i wake up and run to the window and look for snow, but i havent really seen it yet. i only got to see it on the way to heidelberg from the airport but it was only in patches, it was cool though! brrrr its so cold outside! its supposed to be 27 degrees some time today.... brrrr! i really need to clean the house or clean something instead of playing around on the computer but oh well... :) hmmmm im gonna go turn on the heaters and hope in the shower, i'll finish this later! :)

missing everyone,
becca

heres some pics of my car and my apt.

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I don't want to have to build this
I don't want to have to fit in
I don't want to have to need someone
But I do..

I don't want to have to attract boys
I don't want to have to be here
I don't want to have to eat to fill a hole
But I do..

But it's better than nothing at all
But it's better than nothing at all

I don't want to have to be angry at you
I don't want to have to blame it on my father
I don't want to feel sick around you
But I do..

I don't want to ever fall in love
I don't want to feel so insecure
I don't want to have to write this to explain
Still I do..

Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?


Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God she was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as you're fingers touch your skin.



I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better _fuck
Than anyone you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me

Let's get these teen hearts beating.

Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?




Oh now I do recall, we just were getting to the part
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention.
Now let's not get selfish
Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus?




I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better ♥




Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat

Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,



and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:


"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.



"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."


I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"



No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.




Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved



Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne



Again...










I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.











Again...

♥























































i miss anthony

tomorrow my whole life will change at 8:30am



















































♥

Look At Me Still In Your Mind



♥


I just had a crazy long conversation with someone who asks to remain nameless because he doesnt want shit from people at his work. He got off work at 8am and called me at 10am and it is now 1245pm. We talked about everything!! its crazy, its nice that we are friends like this, i miss his friendship. I never _ever thought we could be friends or we could ever get to this point. Now here we are and its pretty badass. He told me he went to go see breaking benjamin and trapt and others in concert on sunday and he heard all the songs we used to listen to last summer... we wore the hell out of those cds that year. While i was on the phone with him i played the trapt cd and we just talked about the past and memories we thought eachother had forgotten. Its nice to see our memory hasnt failed us. It sucks that he asked to remain nameless, its not like were anything more than friends. Ive known him too long to let anything come between our friendship that is barely there. He wants me to transfer over to his store and was disappointed that i didnt apply there in the first place... but i thought he would get mad or have a problem with it so i just stayed away from there. Now that i know he wants me there, i wish i could transfer but whatever.


Am I still breathing have I lost that feeling
Am I made of glass 'cause you see right through me
I don't know who I am and you're the only one who sees that
I can't ask these questions that cannot be answered today
And even if everything goes wrong and we start to fall apart
I will understand where you are, I will understand this by myself
And I don't need to hear your answer
I just need you to feel Like there are no boundaries at all

And how far have we come, too far to throw away the past
Will you be there waiting for me
I have to ask what we are, if I ask today it just won't last
So I'll be here waiting for you

















......
Do you remember lying on the beach so late at night
Do you remember running through the sprinklers that night


I remember,the way you made me feel when I was with you
I remember,the smile that always brought me back to you
That look in your eyes, I never thought that this could be untrue

i could say things are fine..
but they are a mess



thanks to whats-his-face...
















i have horrible trust issues