Slayerverse

At times I’m not sure why the fuck I’m here. I watch these girls, yah they are green but so was I. It’s not like they don’t need me they’ve got B and all and their watchers. I guess I thought things would be different. Feelin’ like a fuckin’ baby sittin’ service.

Again I go out so B can be with the fish. Always been jealous of everythin’ she’s had and I haven’t. Maybe that’s it .. maybe I’m just jealous …or not.

I feel like fuckin’ Alice in fuckin’ Wonderland.

The past week has been hectic. Between work and trying to teach Benny how it is now a days and then more work and band practices and Ted is leaving so we need to replace him and then more work... So anyways I haven't see Buff much. Actually I havent seen her at all. I called her a lot and left messages. And I have messages on my answering machine where she called back and I wasn't home. We just keep missing her. Went over to her house a few times too but surprise surprise she wasn't there.

And then there's Benny. Can he be broguht back into our world? I mean can he be dead for 7 years and then suddenly be alive? Do we just tear up the death certificate or something? And I haven't told anyone he's alive yet. I mean, I'm the one who killed him. some serious guilt is going on. I thought you just had to kill vampires. I didn't know they could be souled. Didnt know they could even become human. So I feel guilty for killing my best friend. all that happened at once. I mean at first I didn't realize "Benny is dead" until after Buff left. Because then I didn't have my best friend or girlfriend. And I realized... he was gone. And now he's back? And he seems the exact same. I mean he was kinda off at first. probably because he was inhell for song. Ok kinda off might be the understatement of the year. That's one reason why he took up so much time. He was really... weird. And crazy. And NOW he's just kinda off. He's starting to talk more sense now. And he told me what he remembers of what happened before he died. And he remembers. How he died. He didn't go off on me but.. I dunno. It was weird and awkward. And I had to go to work so I did.

And worked most of the day. Buffy came in a little after dinnertime. It was good to see her. Hadn't seen her in over a week. I told her about Ben. And we talked for a while. About Ben and about Angel. And about when she has died. She told me she thinks Ben would forgive me. For killing him. She told me another thing too. That she loves me. And I said it back cuz I do. Do youknow how much the past week has sucked?

She was able to get me out of my office and we went to dinner. we talked a little more and danced for a while. Dinner was good too. It was nice goin out to eat with her. Epsecially after having just a honeybun and some fritos for lunch in my office.

We were waking back out to my car wehn I said, "You know you make me not want to go back to work tonight."
"Well do you have to? Do you want to... stay the night at my house?" she asked.
I laughed, "Well as you would say, "duh". ButI dunno if Ben is aight. I'll call him andtell him I won't be back tonight."

So I did and then we went back to Buff's. IT made a week seem like forever. Let me tell you I was glad to be back in that house. Even if that sounds ... I dunno corny or needy or whatever. I just missed bein with Buff. A lot.

Lines. Suck. Waiting. Sucks. Spending a day with Cordelia? Worth every minute. Except for the whole singing puppets ordeal and being molested by Mickey Mouse. I could have done without that. All in all i'll say the night had a good ending. I'm now living with my sugur mommaCordy. Her apartment a whole lot better than my...box i was livin in.

To celebrate my moving in we got...really wasted on Wine. Cordy never had that much (she downed a whole bottle) so it was possible that she was way more drunk than I. Woke up this mornin with one hell of a hangover. More importantly i woke up with her in my arms...actually..she was sitting up and rubbing her head in pain. First i thought it was just her reaction to being hungover, but then she started acting weird and just about screaming in pain.

Visions. She fell back when they hit. She started tellin me what she was seein. I was trying to remember everything as best i could. But i dint' really care about the vision. I was more interested in trying to help her with the pain. Askin if she was alright tryin to get her to snap out of it. Eventually they stoped. She wanted aspirin. I went and got some..came back and she had just finished callin Buffy or Angel. I gave her the pills and the glass of water. After downin that she laid back in bed. I got in next to her and put my arms around her. Watched her sleep for awhile. Listened to her breathing. Rapid at first...eventually she calmed..i fell asleep too.

Woke up and it was...just after twelve. SHe was wakin up around the same time.

"We missed breakfast, love." That made her smile. Almost laughed, but she was still pretty hung over. She can't hold her liquor that's for sure.

"Spike, never get me drunk. Ever." She said that and poked me in the chest. I of course laughed and took her hand. Entwining our fingers.

"Promise, no more getting drunk. Hangovers aren't your look." Before she could retalliate for that remark i got up and ran to the shower. Came out looking all...ready to go out for a bit.

"Where are you going?" She was still lying in bed. Well..sitting up with a sheet wraped around her. Advice: Never look at your girlfriend wearing only sheet before you leave. It's never good.

"I'm going out to get some, well lunch, for us. Since cooking never works out well with us. I'll be back in a few minutes. Don't. Get. Dressed." with that i ran out to go find a nice place to pick up some food.

But first i had to find Buffy and ask her about the visions. The mention of Dru made me a little nervous.

Well since Spike is newly humanhe's never been to amusement park before. And that is just wrong.
( So we went to Disneyland.Collapse )

Ughhhh... and the rest is kind of blurry. I woke up in bed and in his arms this morning. And my head was KILLING me. I never drink that much. I sat up in bed and wraped the sheet around me.
"Ooh... I drank too much." My head was KILLING me. "My head hurts so bad."
He rubbed his eyes and said, "mm yeah me too."
I rubbed my head, "I mean.. it really hurts."
"Love it's just a hangover...."
"no.. I don't think it..." I started to say but then the vision hit. I saw all these people. Demons. The ones I recognized I named. "Drusilla....Uhh.. the master?" I heard Spike saying something but I couldn't understand the pictures kept flying by so fast. When it stopped I fell back into the bed.
"Oww.... I need some aspirin," I said.
He went and got me some. I didn't understand why I saw soem of those demon things. I mean hullo? Didn't buffy kill the master? I felt really sick. I called Angel and Buffy and told them what I saw. Which wasn't much except just quick pictures of them. Couldn't even really see what they were doing. I after I called them I just went back to bed. My head hurt from the vision plus I already had that hangover and I wanted some sleep.

Between all these new Watchers and Slayers and Spike and that...fish guy...life's been so busy I haven't had time to sulk. Which is really not fair since I have so much to sulk about!

...Not that anyone knows. Since I usually do it...um. Alone. Because there's way more going on here, especially now, then me and my, um...sad feelings and stuff.

But I've been teaching Dawn Klingon! And she's totally a natural. So that makes me feel better! And she explained that whole "Key" thing to me...even though I still don't really get it. But I like the color green! So it's okay.

Oh, but here's something right out of the X-Files...um. If the X-Files were about...Slayers and all. There's a guy Slayer! A guy! That's not supposed to happen! Slayers are girls!

He seems really nice though. Even if he did keep giving me weird looks...Maybe somebody told him what I did to Jonathan! That's the last thing I need...more people being all..."Murderer!" around me...

I have always been the shit ya know? But lately I don’t feel like it. Okay I’m still hot but I watch all these couples coupling and it just makes me feel more removed.

I’ve never been with the normal but I’ve changed, fuck the whole world has changed and I don’t quite fit not exactly anyway.

Always the chosen two, well there are a chosen million. So where do I go how do I deal? Can’t even sort that shit out with all the potentials hanging around.

So I get up each morning, put a smile on my face and eat my Wheaties. I don’t know why the hell I’m doing it taking more of B’s work time with the potentials so she can be with College boy.

Man, I need a life. Did I just say that? Fuck!

Ok so a while ago, I was getting my ass beaten by some fraternity boys.

They were screaming at me "you fucking faggot" over and over again. I tried not to cry. I ended up in the hospital with a few broken ribs, I woke up the next morning with no marks on me. My body was completely healed. I got really freaked and left sneaking out in those god awful hospital gowns.

I went to his dorm room, needing comfort. He let me, but not without checking around first. I told him what happened. He gave me clothes and pushed me out of his room.

I got on the bus to go home, A girl from one of my classes was on it too.

"So I hear you have a huge Crush on Scott Whitman, and that his frat brothers are going to beat you up because you are stalking him. Is that true?" She asked.

"Who told you that?" I said harshly?

"Scott, He told everyone that you kissed him, cause Freddie Mayor saw you two kissing, and Scott told them you forced the kiss on him and that you were stalking him." God it looked like she was getting pleasure out of this.

I didn't say anything. I got home, packed up my belongings and got on the next bus out of town. I finally settled down in Seattle.

About a month later I was approached by a wary british man and this red head. She looked at me, closed her eyes and chanted something and this white light hit me.

"Oh dear lord." The British guy said.

"Who are you?" I asked with a shaky voice.

And then he explained everything to me. Then I figured it out. I had a fraternal twin sister in the womb, somehow our mothers body started doing something strange. or maybe it was mine. But my body started to absorb hers. [i bet this isn't possible but lets pretend it is]

So now I'm in Dana Point. A slayer, strong as ever, and surrounded by women. It actually kind of funny the girls were all worried I was going to be some kind of slayer player, but I'm into guys.

Who knew.

And I met him yesterday, Andrew. A watcher in training. He's so ... beautiful.

This last week has been so strange. The best part is Pike, but seeing Spike all happy and human is the second best part. He was the only one there for me when everything went down.

It was akward to say the least, but It's Spike, and when were things with him ever normal. Not only that but dating Cordelia? Right. But hey, she's changed too.

Anyways, I train, I sleep, I slay, I spend time with Pike. I never get time for myself. But hey, It works. Faith and I are going to have some quality slayer time sometime, probably while out slaying.

So far only a few girls are on active patrol. Rona, Kennedy and Vi. But hey 5 is better than 1.

Pike was acting really strange the other day and now I can't get a hold of him. I'm worried, what could have happened to him? And, Giles wants me to go see Angel. So, I guess that's my mission today. Figure out what's wrong with Pike and go see Angel.

We were practicing when i saw this guy walk in. It was one of those open practices where people could come in and watch. So I was singing and saw the guy walk in. And he looked just like Benny. I said "Holy Shit" while I was singing and had to cover it by changin the lyrics a little. After practice I went up to see who he was. Adn it was Benny.

He said he'd been in hel. And some guy brought him back. He said the guy meant to bring some Chick back named Darla. Got ole Ben instead. And was kinda mad about that and nicely kicked him out. So.. I was freaked. I called Buff. WE were supposed to go out tonight.
"Hey Buff," I said.
"Hey Pike Whe-"
"Listen.. I can't make it to dinner tonight..."
"You can't? Why?"
"It's hard to explain... my past just kinda... showed up. I'll talk to you later though. Bye Buff"

so I told him what's happened the past 7 years. He was shocked I went to Ucla and the Stanford. I know. I was shcoked too. We had to sleep at some girl's apartment (which I'm sure, knowing Benny, he just hated) so he's gonna sleep in the other room in my apartment. This is still so freaky.

My best friend who was turned into a vampire and then killed by me 7 years ago is now human again. holy shit.

I've been in hell. Literally. All because of that asshole Amilyn turning me into a vampire. And then Pike killing me. Which I guess is aight. But dude. He killed me. I mean it wasn't REALLY me. But.. I dunno. Im not mad. Not really.

So I've been in hell for a assload of time. and then suddenly I'm in La. adnt here's this guy who's like "where's Darla?" I dunno who Darla is. And i didn't know where I was. He said I was in LA. So I was home. And then he kinda kicked me out. Asshole.

So I had to go out there on my own. no money. And just the clothes I was wearing when I died. What the fuck? I was able to spend the night at some hottie's house. Cuz I mean c'mon. I'm Benny. So anyways I looked up people in the phone book and Pike still lives here. Called him but got the answering machine. Don't think he would believe it was me so I hung up. The girl uh... Chrissy? I think. I dunno something like that. She said she heard of him. Been to a gig of his or soemthin. And tole me where they play and stuff. So I'll be payin him a visit at his band practice tomorrow. Get some better clothes and ffod and place to stay. I better. I mean, what are friends for?