Thursday 11/7 - off Friday 11/8 - 6pm - 5am Saturday 11/9 - 6pm - 5am Sunday 11/10 - off Monday 11/11 - off (will be going to Farmersville but will have phone as long as it's not being stupid) Tuesday 11/12 - 10pm - 5am Wednesday 11/13 - 10pm - 5am
It hurts to breathe.. it hurts to continue living. I wanted her happy, and I thought I made her happy. Yet in the end she didn't know... I hated doing it.. I hated sitting here wondering how much longer I could hold onto something that wasn't really even mine. I'd like to say I regret it all.. but the thing is, I never could. I could never regret someone like her. I loved her, I still do, but it couldn't continue. It can't continue while she doesn't know what she wants. She's only a year younger than me in age, but our mental states... they're completely off balance. I'm so afraid to fall asleep because I know in the morning I won't want to wake up. I won't want to live without her in my life in some way. I try to be strong.. I try to but a face in front of every one so they won't know the pain I feel inside, but it's not working, not this time. She wanted to know why I never said anything before tonight. How could I? I wanted to believe nothing was wrong. I wanted to stay in my happy little world where nothing bad was happening.. and the moment I stepped out of my safe haven the walls broke down. how can I go on when I can't even dry my eyes? I hate emotional breakdowns, I really do. I hate seeming like I'm so weak. I hate being seen like this.
Now out of ALL the people here, pick your favorite JP with them and if you can link us so that we can all read it again. If you haven't JP'd with this person that's okay.
crushed