hey! (hey!) you ever just say fuck it?

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
lokisuggestion

Anonymous asked:

Loki helps us write our CV? (curriculum vitae / résumé)

lokisuggestion answered:

Sure. A note: some industries may have slightly different standards. Look into your industry’s preferences before sending out a CV. This is also assuming you are applying to a job, probably in the US, and not for a fellowship, internship, or academic/art residency. I (Loki) wrote all this out and realized it is an insane amount of information but I promise this is not the result of ChatGPT I wrote this with my two horrible very professional hands.

Anyways. Here are Loki’s Résumé and CV general best practices.

I. Formatting

Assume, in 2026, that a robot (whether AI or a more simple Applicant Tracker System, usually referred to as ATS) will skim your CV before a person does, and design a machine reading-compatible CV. Unless you are 100% positive your CV will be read by a person and not a machine (aka you know the recruiter personally, etc) avoid design flourishes that could confuse a machine. These include:

  • Columns and sidebars, especially that popular two-column format with a bio on the left side.
  • Clip art or images, including headshots.
  • Section headers. Avoid using the header and footer tool. These are often not machine readable. Keep section headers clear and differentiated.
  • “Soft returns” for line breaks. Always hit enter instead of shift+enter for line breaks between sections. Only use soft return for paragraph breaks within the same section.

Use a generic font, and utilize the built-in heading styles that Docs or Word offer (header, subhead, body) as these are often more machine-readable. If you want to differentiate sections visually, use simple colors and the horizontal line tool in Docs or Word as a divider.

II. Content

A good basic content order: Contact information, Education, Experience, Skills. Here are some basics to help you master each:

Contact information:

  1. Your job title or desired title can appear after your name using a comma. AKA: Loki Laufeyson, Professional Trickster
  2. Do not use JPG/PNG icons/images before your email, phone number, etc. If you feel you MUST include a visual instead of just writing “email: loki@loki.com,” use standard unicode symbols. Even emoji are preferable to actual PNGs or logos

Education: Note: this is only relevant to my experience in the United States (Loki has graduated with degrees from NYU and also briefly was scammed by the University of Phoenix.)

  1. People often put too much information here. Include graduation year only, not the range of years you were there. If you graduated more than 10 years ago, you don’t need the graduation year, just the degree.
  2. Degree honors and relevant coursework can be used to pad out a resume but are not required. If your work experience is sparse this is a good add-in. For example, it is absolutely a good idea to add in the title of your honor’s thesis on Thermodynamics if you’re applying to an entry-level job in STEM, and it should appear in this section, under the degree title and year, not in work experience.

Work Experience:

  1. This is another place where people tend to put too much information, or the wrong information. This is NOT a place to put every job you’ve ever worked, and employers will not assume you started holding jobs only when you started working in your career field if you omit totally irrelevant jobs from early in your career. The basic things this section should achieve are showing your progress over time, your achievements, and hit key words from the job description.
  2. To format experience: give the job title, a short job description, and the date range. Month and years for dates are OK; for contract positions, you can list the Month/Year and note Contract Position. For your top two or three most recent/relevant jobs, you can and should add additional details.
  3. These additional details should be outcome-oriented, not task-oriented. People tend to make a mistake by doing the inverse of this: they’ll leave work outcomes as a one-sentence blurb, then give bullet points describing work tasks and roles. Do not do this. Avoid words like “responsible for” and “in charge of” for items outside the job description line. Focus on positive contributions and completed projects.

    Good example:
    Trickster at Stark Tower
    August 2012–Present
    Horrible green freak operating all relevant wretchedness directed at Earth’s mightiest heroes
    • Completed the “big wet prank” on Thor, resulting in the production of several new international bylaws against lipid production in the NYC metro area
    • Property value of surrounding residential and commercial real estate dipped 60% year over year during my tenure



    Not as good:
    Trickster, Stark Tower, August 15 2012–August 23 2026
    • Responsible for pranks and jests day to day
    • Balance inventory in Excel for purchasing operations and productions of prank materials
    • Responsible for freaking everyone out and giving people a headache and a stomachache and hives and having a bad time
    • No one likes me as a result of this, which is awesome
  4. Finally, if you’re applying to entry-level roles, or are breaking from hourly wage service industry or internship work into white collar work, it is better to get creative about passion project or volunteer work than to list excessive but irrelevant roles in the experience section. Some people are too worried about seeming “honest” about this and don’t think through a hiring team’s priorities when fielding this info. No one will care if your work was self-motivated and you don’t need to list “self employed” as the employer–just the years and when you did it. Hiring committees for people making this jump want to see your relevant experience, and you should control the narrative and not hedge around it.

    An example of what I mean: I once revised the CV of a friend who had been in his local music scene for 10+ years and was a bartender as a day job. He wanted to start working in insurance–but had put “local music” in the hobby section of his CV, and listed “bartender” at 4 different local bars in the experience section. I pointed out to him that running a touring band is a significant amount of logistical and clerical work that he was in charge of and was actually more relevant to the job he was applying for. I suggested he list “band manager” as an experience item and give targets / a job description that highlighted success like local music festivals, driving ticket sales, touring and coordinating with venues, etc. (He now has an office job fwiw so I’d consider this a success story.)

    It is best to limit this work to one or two instances, and is best for when you need to pad out experiences or make a pivot into a new industry. Add it below the most relevant recent professional experience like so:

    Trickster, Stark Tower,
    August 2012–Present
    [Description as outlined above]

    Norse God of Mischief, Freelance
    The Dawn of Time–Present
    [Description]

    Junior Trickster, AsgardThe Dawn of Time–July 2010
  5. Remember: it’s always OK to compress irrelevant jobs down to just their title if it gives you more room to describe your relevant jobs.

Skills:

This section will be short. It’s another place people tend to go too far. My strong suggestion would be to use this area as almost a copy-and-paste for keywords from the job description. It should be where you add in relevant key words and things you couldn’t describe elsewhere. Machine-read resumes look for these words.

  1. For things like software proficiency, only add specific software where proficiency is required in the JD or may be exceptional based on your expected level of experience. For example, if you’re an entry level designer but also know how to do motion editing, add that. If you’re an engineer but have significant project management software experience, add that.
  2. You’d be surprised at how often the software and tool add-in works against people especially in corporate work, mainly because outside of the very basics you’re expected to know, every company’s software stack is different. You might have done project management in Teams but they use Notion and won’t want to train you–if you’re not sure, just list the skill instead of the software. For example, if you’re an entry level designer but also know how to do motion editing, add that. If you’re an engineer but have significant project management software experience, add that.
  3. Qualitative words/terms like “good with kids” and “fun to be around” are fluff. If you must add these words, go into the company’s values or mission statement and pull qualitative terms from that. Always be careful directly copying & pasting, but this is much less apparent for single words and similar.

III. In conclusion:

People both overthink and under-think the CV. Be clear, put your best foot forward, and play as much as possible to the job description. Prioritize a clean, machine-readable resume template that uses basic formatting. You can find samples of this online. There are AI and ATS resume “checkers” available, but some aren’t accurate. The best thing you can do for yourself is know what the best practices are and use a solid template. Good luck.

–Loki.

stemmmm
spiribia

I do think it’s ultimately the potion seller’s right to not sell the knight potions that would explode the knight and that it’s out of hubris that the knight keeps insisting on only the strongest potions but I also think it’s a situation born on clashing egos because the potion seller is clearly proud of how strong he can make his potions and here comes a common bloke insinuating that he can handle the best of what the potion seller is capable of offering, and instead of offering more suitable alternatives from his own stock the potion seller completely shutters down on this initial gaffe out of pride - note how he says “you’d better go to a seller that sells weaker potions” instead of recommending his own weaker potions, suggesting that he is still stuck on the knight’s request as an insult to his abilities as a seller above anything else, and reasserting himself as a high quality seller relative to other sellers. ultimately this unfortunate interaction happens because neither party is willing to cede an inch out of the initial affront to their self image

briarpatch-kids
sistertaxon

Buckle up, European and Foreigner Tumblypoos, because I'm about to learn you a thing about AMERICA.

image

You see these delectable motherflippers? These are called STATES. You stupid foreigners might not be able to wrap your head around this, but basically they're administrative subdivisions of the country.

And here's the thing: They are totally heckin' different from each other! For instance, New York:

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Looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT from Kansas:

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And they both look TOTALLY different from California!

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So before you make fun of an American for not knowing where tiny third-world countries like "Check Republic" or "South Korea" are, maybe think about how much we have to learn about the unique regional differences in our OWN country. Maybe you should think about AMERICA more.

annabelle--cane
makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

  • For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.
  • Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.
  • Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.
  • I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.
  • I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.
  • Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.
makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

pocketyoursnotrags
nuancecomprehender

my life isnt perfect but at least im not doing a mans laundry

nuancecomprehender

reading comprehension questions:

  • might there be a reason this post resonates with a lot of women?
  • can you describe the phenonemon of learned helplessness? give an example.
  • in what ways might the gender pay gap have influenced this post?
  • in most cultures, women are expected to do the majority of childrearing and domestic work, even if they also work outside of the home. in what ways does this influence the post?