I've seen Grindhouse twice in theaters since it came out. The first time was at Lloyd Center 10 in the Lloyd District of Upper NE Downtown Portland. The second time was with Miranda in Downtown Portland at the Broadway Metroplex. The second time was even better than the first! I was laughing my ass off throughout the two films. Kurt Russell was absolutely stellar in Tarantino's film, Death Proof. He made me laugh so hard my sides ached and tears were in my eyes. Tonite i'm going out to see Hot Fuzz at 7:45pm at the Fox Tower 10 in Downtown Portland. This movie, coming from/starring the makers of Shaun Of The Dead, will be fucking fun. I was going to go see some somewhat lame black-metal and hardcore bands tonite; but rather than spend $7 to see 4 shitty bands, be surrounded by lame scene kids, and not have very much fun in general, i'm going to see Hot Fuzz instead. Hell effing YEAH!
i'm going to start Bartending school probably next month.. or whenever I have the money to do so. I just started looking around at schools online just now. There are two in the Portland-Metro I could go with. I'm not sure yet which one i'll do. I just have to contact the schools to get more info then make my decision. That's right.. i'm sick of working at Taco Bell and this damn minimum wage bullshit. I want to do something awsome. I'm 21, almost 22 years old now. I need to do something with myself. I don't want to go to college, but I want to go to school. I constantly see people my age working behind the bar. I want to do what they're doing. I'm going to be a fucking Mixologist, bitches.
it's been a week since I met Zena. event recap for the week... Monday: I gave my lady a mini-tour of downtown Portland. She bought me sushi at Sushi Land, then we explored Washington Park and Hoyt Arboretum.
Tuesday: She picked me up from work and we drove to Multnomah Falls, got hot chocolate at the Cascade Lochs/Bridge of the Gods, went to Hood River and across the toll bridge to Washington to drive back to Portland on the WA-side of the Columbia River. We visited my grandparents! They invited us to stay for dinner. Zena helped my grandma prepare and cook dinner for everyone. It was really sweet of her *aww* We came back to my house, talked a lot.. I played my guitar and she slept on the floor next to me.
Wednesday: Z swung by my work to bring me presents consisting of a small US flag she stole from a graveyard near Belmont and her copy of A Clockwork Orange! We went to the graveyard and she lifted the black/white American Police Hall of Fame flag for me :) We came back to my place to hang out for a while before she had to go home.
Friday: Ron came by TDM to see me! Zena showed up later when I got off. We chilled for a bit then met up with Ron and his uncle at Point West Bank on NE 11th and Irving. I introduced Z and Ron. Ron and I talked about the awsome parties he used to throw at his parents house back in the day.. stuff like that. Z went off somewhere to eat while I drank at Dante's with Ron and his uncle. I met up with Zena after that at Burnside Taco Bell, pretty damn good and drunk! I gave her a little tour of the Nob Hill area where I used to live. We met a freight-train hopper in Couch Park who told us his life story and smoked a joint with me. We were there for about 2.5 hours. Then we went to Nob Hill Pharmacy for coffee. After this, we drove back to my house to chill with the housemates. She stayed the night with me, and we slept like babies.
Saturday: We woke up really early around 8am. I had to be at Burnside Taco Bell at 9am. She dropped me off there, and went off for a couple job interviews she had to take care of. Later in the day she showed up at my home. She brought a stack of pictures to show me of her from birth until now. I loved all the pictures. she told me the story behind each and every photo. soon after that Andrew popped in the room to eff with his bike. so we sat around talking for a while with Andrew until he left to do some of his Andrew things. Colin and Rego showed up with a 6-pack of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. We all drank some beer together while watching From Dusk 'Til Dawn. I was damn tired, so I went to bed about half-way through the movie. Zena tucked me in and went out to chill with the guys for the rest of the movie. After the movie, she came to bed. We talked for a while until we fell asleep. I had a horrible nightmare... I woke up at 3:45am freaking the fuck out. Hyper-ventilating. shaking. curled up in a ball, in the fetal position. I woke her up because I was so terrified from this nightmare. I jumped out of bed, ran to the window and stared out into the back yard for a while. I tried to explain my nightmare to her.. she was half-asleep while I was telling her about it. She kept saying, "just come back to bed. it's okay, you're fine. just come back to bed." I couldn't though. I had to look outside to see that the world was REAL and that my nightmare was just that, a nightmare. I haven't had a nightmare that terrifying since I was a little kid... I went back to sleep after a while.
Sunday(today): We woke up together. Talked about our night and dreams. We talked about a lot of things, like goals for the future and what not. She has another job interview today, and some other things to do. I've got the day off today. We may be doing something tonite, possibly going to see Pan's Labyrinth or going out for sushi.
..I really, really like her a lot. It's so comfortable. more so than i've ever felt with a girl. we feel like an old couple that has been together for 50 years.. hahaha. truly, we feel as if we've been doing this for years...but it's only been a week. I dunno.. we're just taking everything real slow. not rushing into anything at all. i'm glad for that. i'm happy about it. i'm happy that i've met her. she makes me smile, a lot. we do really cool things together. we talk about anything and everything. we share stories of people, places, things, dreams and nightmares from growing up. all I can say for now is that whatever is going on between Zena and I, is fucking amazing :D we laugh a lot. we smile a lot. we talk about everything together. we do crazy things together. we explore nature. we drink coffee together and eat raw fish together. we've spent the night with each other twice now, just snuggling, kissing and telling each other stories until we fall asleep. yeah. it's really effen nice to have a companion like her.
Spread the word people. Do not ignore and sit on your ass in wishful thinking that things will turn out for the better. You have to take a stand for YOURSELF and YOUR FAMILY and YOUR FRIENDS. Not only do so on the internet, but do so in your every day life. I spread the word every day with each new person I meet. Through grass-roots, word-of-mouth, the internet, wheat-pasting of facts-sheets or whatever other methods your clever mind can create we will get the fire blazing even hotter than ever. We have yet to see what the worst things this awful american-nazi regime in the white house will do with their last 2 years in office. Do not let your lives be commandeered by the fascist, neo-con cultists. We ARE NOT CATTLE. WE ARE NOT SHEEP. WE ARE NOT SLAVES. WE ARE FREE. AND WITH GOD ON MY SIDE, I AM FIGHTING THE NEW WORLD ORDER EVEN UNTIL DEATH.
I made it to Portland after 24 hours of travelling from Palmer, Alaska to Portland, Oregon. I spent a few hours on the plane which had horrible air-conditioning. It was hot as hell and I could smell myself the whole flight, gross! After reaching Sea-Tac, getting my guitar and duffle-bag, I walked to the 76 station a few blocks down the road that Sesame Seed and I visited the last time that we came down to Seattle together. I bought a pack of Camel Filter 100's, walked back to the airport in the rain and spent my next 10 hours writing, crying, sleeping, talking to my brother and sister on the pay-phone, and just wondering what the fuck would come next when I arrived in Portland. Later into the morning, I caught a bus into downtown Seattle to hit the Greyhound station. I bought a ticket to Portland, spent a couple hours in the station waiting for the bus. The next 3.5 hours of my life were spent on the bus drinking Hamm's tall boys with a guy named Paul who grew up in Alaska. I spent the night at his trashed apartment in Portland drinking beer after beer and smoking a couple bowls. The next day I met up with Miranda, Faye and Caley Feeney. From there, I crashed at the Chicago 8 house for about 2 weeks.. a bit un-welcomely though..
more on this later. the computer is about to kick me off.
flappy flappy flippy flap the casings of bullets lie strewn about in a pattern most befitting a gutter-slut's heroin-decimated arms. officers raced to the scene after a concerned neighbor heard several loud cracks come from inside the home. plasma stained the wall just behind the old rocking-chair grandma used to rock baby to sleep in every Thursday afternoon. a family of 4 and one infant near 3 months.. "...a bullet to his brain, a barrel down her throat. jesus christ fucked mary three times! i've never seen anything like this before.. my god." the infant's scattered and torn remains were found strewn about the hallways upstairs. a hand here, a finger there... a blood trail leads to the bathroom. spinal cord fluids soak the shag rug just inside the bathroom door. "..Inspector, I believe you may want to take a look at this." a fagfuck beckons from upstairs. blood stains the walls of the bathroom. scattered remains and splattered brains of all 4 family members are found strewn about the tile floors. the only color in sight, a sickly blackish-red. eerie sense of dread now overcomes the god-forsaken homestead... "....I FOUND THE INFANT'S HEAD UPON A BASKET OF DECAPITATED DOLL HEADS!"
my gore-rotted flesh of decomposing bowels is now feasting upon the grinder's still remains of pustules bursted into frothing white foam now seeping out of gaping holes in the abcess of our wounds.
I'm moving out of Alaska in two weeks. Seattle-bound. Adventures in the states once more. Sleeping on the streets and in alleys. Drinking beer while squatting in doorways at night to stay warm. Seattle to Spokane. Couch-surfing galore? .. probably not. sleeping in streets and parks, hella hella. Spokane to Portland. Couch-surfing for sure with good friends. sleeping in the streets, yeeaah! sleeping in tha parks.. nope can't do that unless I want to be ARRESTED! do i want to live here.. quite possibly. Portland to Cali maybe? Portland to a new city in Oregon? Portland to EAST COAST MOTHAFUCKA!! quite possibly. Two weeks everyone. Two weeks and i'm gone. Two more weeks and I am NOT coming back to Alaska. i'm leaving it all behind. Alaskan Winter can kiss my ass. Forest Fair 2007 if you want to see me up here ever again. No matter what happens, i'll be happy to get the fuck away from Alaska again. i'm not scared anymore of the continental united states. sorry to say that my family and friends aren't enough to keep me here. i truely love them but it's not enough. to actually LIVE here I need a car. I need reliable transportation. It's just not going to work out right now. I need to live in a city with awsome public transportation and lots of job oppurtunities. I need to live somewhere where there is always something happening, always something to do besides get fucked up. Alaska can't offer me that. I'm gone in two weeks. With or with-out money, doesn't matter. I'm getting the FUCK out!
So if you want to hang out with me before I leave, comment on this entry. Hit me up on my myspace. Call me at home and leave a message because i'm almost never there: 907-745-0237 If I don't see you or hear from ya .. LATER!
so ya think yer on top because ya got outta here? well ya know what little missy? you're rotting insides are telling me a different story, and i'm kissing little boys that remind me of you. the hairs on their shriveled bags streaked gray at the sight of the immense monstrosity coming down their way.
how do ya make a little boy cry twice? wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear.
whats that you say? a boy that looks just like me? couldn't be because I'M ME! so ya kiss him on tha cheek once.. no twice, no three times more. tell him how much you'll love him till his dick is bloody and sore. fucking their jagons to a pulp with that dangly, loose hole.
come back to bed and love me some more, lover. lover, lover. oh god no, i have AIDS. you gave me AIDS you sick freak! I told you to stop kissing boys that look like me because they ain't me. You cheated on me? what did I ever do? Ahh shit and hell, you had a vagina that felt like it'd been beaten by a baseball bat thrice and a score before my member gave it the chore of cleaning the condom of it's lubricants. thou filthy prostitute slime!
whore yourself out some more. whore yourself out some more whore yourself out some more whore yourself out some more whore yourself out some more whore yourself out some more kissing little boys that look like me. whore yourself out some more whore yourself out some more never satisfied with what you've got whore yourself out some more i'm in love with every guy that gives me even the slightest amount of affection i don't know what I want so I think i'll just tell every guy that i'm in love with them. whore yourself out some more. whore yourself out some more. clubbin clubbin clubbin clubbin clubbin whore yourself out some more. I design clothes for a living. and I kiss little boys that remind me of you. fashionxcore faggot, go feed yourself to a fucking alligator. I hope your cat dies in your living room.
lethargic
chipper
discontent
accomplished
determined