local weirdo

Taking a walk along a quiet naturey trail, looking for a spot to stop and have my snacks, and as I aim for a wee clearing I've stopped at before I see a condom wrapper and I'm like well no shame in cruising glad you used protection I'll just make sure I check where I sit in case the rest of the condom is there, but then I get to my little sitting spot and right where I was going to perch is a set of industrial safety goggles so now im just like. Well what on earth were you doing that you needed That Much protection

Me and my color coded friendgroup are gonna beat your ass

reblog for largest possible sample size please

straight up how I feel

this is from grindr. a gay hookup place. are you hooking up with men.

no it's not even my screenshot. You have to believe me

why did it take u three months to answer that? too busy kissing other men???

No I was busy with Normal stuff

Super happy everybody gets married and has lots of babies YA fantasy ending, except it depicts a principal character retiring from public life to craft horrible flesh homunculi in some fetid catacomb, presented in a way that's tonally indistinguishable from its conventional counterpart.

Icarus with Burning Wings by Lucianne Lassalle

high heels bitch I feel like a nympho

I think one of the best parts of life is stumbling upon the NSFW sideblogs of random people and saying some shit like like

"Your NSFW blog has been noticed by the Reichskammergericht and the Aulic Council"

Or alternatively "I love this blog" and then just not elaborating.

*squints*

You're only one of the after-hours/after-dark blogs i follow.

wait how many are you following????

More than one. I don't reblog them much because I feel it may be uncomfortable for them. I do however often guffaw and laugh at their horny ramblings.

Halloween is about putting caramel apples up your ass and jerking off on a hay bale

Bart,

I am sory for strangling you

-Homer simpson

we must get through it Thursday

*pulling my tortoise off you by his leash* sorry. he can tell you're a loose whore

they are trying to take my powers. i don’t know who they are or what powers i have, but that’s not the point

one of my earliest video game memories was my neighbor from down the street burning me a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon onto a CD and giving it to me for free, with the caveat that one day a week he would sit behind me and backseat game HARD. like "build this here, okay now build this here, no not there, HERE, okay now make a path here," etc etc. i never minded it at the time, i genuinely had no idea how to play so i thought he was teaching me. years later i learned that him and his family were Orthodox Jewish and him backseat gaming me was his way of getting around the Sabbath ban on playing video games