(no subject)
Friends Only
(no subject)
And yet another phone call for sake of the family.
My whole family, it seems, is a bunch of walking crazies.
My father lastnight decided to break down. My little brother was with him, also freaking out about the situation. He got a moment to call my sister, to let her know that my father was freaking out. He got on the phone with my sister and just began in with the, "I'm sorry's." Sorry for what? Thats all he would say to her until he asked her to come over. She didn't want to go over by herself, b/c she didn't know what she'd be walking into, so her husband went along. Got to the house, went inside and found my father at the kitchen table, playing with his knife. Emotionless, blank look, just looking at his knife. My sister flipped on him, and told him to put the fucking knife down a couple times before he actually did. He dropped it and began crying, and sputtering about how he was sorry for being a horrible father to his kids. My sister didn't know what to tell him, and my little brother was in the livingroom bawling. My father went on about how he was surprised that my sister still talks to him, and how surprised he is that Tom still talks to him, but wonders why I dont. "Why doesn't Kate ever want to talk to me? What did I do to her? I know she blocks me from online, I know she screens her calls when I call her. What did I do?"
I'll tell you what you did you son of bitch! Remember back to when I was 15? That fucking night from hell? The night you beat my mother in front of me, and threatened to hurt me if I picked up the phone? That night you wrapped your hands around her neck as I watched? The night you made her bleed from every whole in her face?? The night you banged her sweet head into the stairs and yelled at her like she could hear you as her ears were being used to grip your destruction?? Remember how you looked at me as I stood at the top of stairs yelling for you to let her up?? All I could hear was my mothers voice asking me for help, and I couldn't do a damn thing!!! I was 1ft away, and I couldn't do anything!!!!!!!!! My mothers screams and yells were horrifying for me...I didn't know what exactly your conclusion to all of that would be...I was fucking scared of you...more so than any other time ever. Somehow I got up the courgage to run out the back door and call the police from the neighbors house. Look what you made me do? I watched you get taken away from the property line. Seeing you in handcuffs was a relief for me...just seeing you leave was a relief for me....look at what I did? At that moment, I knew I had the power to get rid of you...I never knew I had that.
I got back to the house to see the finished product of what you had done to my mother. You hurt her bad you fucking cock sucker!!!!!
You lost a daughter that day, and I'm never going to let you forget that, b/c every time your mentioned to me, thats all I remember of you.
Now ask yourself again....."what did I do to her?"
He's at the hospital now, getting treatment. I guess he's gonna be there for a few days. My sister suggest I call him. I dont think so, especially not now.
I blame him for alot of the emotions I have towards things. I just have yet to correct them. In good time I guess.
My whole family, it seems, is a bunch of walking crazies.
My father lastnight decided to break down. My little brother was with him, also freaking out about the situation. He got a moment to call my sister, to let her know that my father was freaking out. He got on the phone with my sister and just began in with the, "I'm sorry's." Sorry for what? Thats all he would say to her until he asked her to come over. She didn't want to go over by herself, b/c she didn't know what she'd be walking into, so her husband went along. Got to the house, went inside and found my father at the kitchen table, playing with his knife. Emotionless, blank look, just looking at his knife. My sister flipped on him, and told him to put the fucking knife down a couple times before he actually did. He dropped it and began crying, and sputtering about how he was sorry for being a horrible father to his kids. My sister didn't know what to tell him, and my little brother was in the livingroom bawling. My father went on about how he was surprised that my sister still talks to him, and how surprised he is that Tom still talks to him, but wonders why I dont. "Why doesn't Kate ever want to talk to me? What did I do to her? I know she blocks me from online, I know she screens her calls when I call her. What did I do?"
I'll tell you what you did you son of bitch! Remember back to when I was 15? That fucking night from hell? The night you beat my mother in front of me, and threatened to hurt me if I picked up the phone? That night you wrapped your hands around her neck as I watched? The night you made her bleed from every whole in her face?? The night you banged her sweet head into the stairs and yelled at her like she could hear you as her ears were being used to grip your destruction?? Remember how you looked at me as I stood at the top of stairs yelling for you to let her up?? All I could hear was my mothers voice asking me for help, and I couldn't do a damn thing!!! I was 1ft away, and I couldn't do anything!!!!!!!!! My mothers screams and yells were horrifying for me...I didn't know what exactly your conclusion to all of that would be...I was fucking scared of you...more so than any other time ever. Somehow I got up the courgage to run out the back door and call the police from the neighbors house. Look what you made me do? I watched you get taken away from the property line. Seeing you in handcuffs was a relief for me...just seeing you leave was a relief for me....look at what I did? At that moment, I knew I had the power to get rid of you...I never knew I had that.
I got back to the house to see the finished product of what you had done to my mother. You hurt her bad you fucking cock sucker!!!!!
You lost a daughter that day, and I'm never going to let you forget that, b/c every time your mentioned to me, thats all I remember of you.
Now ask yourself again....."what did I do to her?"
He's at the hospital now, getting treatment. I guess he's gonna be there for a few days. My sister suggest I call him. I dont think so, especially not now.
I blame him for alot of the emotions I have towards things. I just have yet to correct them. In good time I guess.
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crushed
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(no subject)
OMFG!!!!!!! I cannot sleep!! I'm totally and utterly exhausted...I want to sleep, but this damn cough is not allowing me to. I've takin everything for it...the moment I lay down and start to doze off, I'm hawking up my lungs!!!! is there anything out there that can control my cough??????
GOD I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to lose it!!!
Of course with coughing, its making my nose run more, and....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
GOD I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to lose it!!!
Of course with coughing, its making my nose run more, and....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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drained
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(no subject)
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okay
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(no subject)
I just found the most utterly disgusting site in the whole fucking world. And, me!, I had to explore it b/c you just can NOT explore a site like that...but fuck me!!!!! I was in shock the whole time I was there...My mouth wide open, my eyes huge...
If anyone wants to know the site, just ask...but I'm warning you now. The way I found it, is I was doing a google search for k9's...urgh!!! And we all know the kinds of things a google search can turn up...omg!
WARF!!!!!!!!
If anyone wants to know the site, just ask...but I'm warning you now. The way I found it, is I was doing a google search for k9's...urgh!!! And we all know the kinds of things a google search can turn up...omg!
WARF!!!!!!!!
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discontent
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(no subject)
(no subject)
calcutta streams from porchlights where
we opened up our party gifts and
you fell down the stairs on purpose
and you drive to europe in the rain
your hair's done up but no one's gonna see it
well maybe you should drive me home, home
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around now
find out about the music
is the CD jammed or upside down
i'd really like to feel you with dinner
and we're sitting on a city bench
together in the tourist town
if the fashion ad were here
you'd be in it, in it
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around now
The girl is cold and so is he
but hes still warm she's way too kind
when you walked in the morning after
looking good you know it
yeah, yeah, yeah
oohahh, i'm closing my eyes and
i'm spinning, spinning away away
well i don't know if i should stay but
what do i do when you say it's ok.
Listen to me, this is insane.
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around
yeah yeah yeah yeah...
fall down with me and roll around, round . . .
we opened up our party gifts and
you fell down the stairs on purpose
and you drive to europe in the rain
your hair's done up but no one's gonna see it
well maybe you should drive me home, home
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around now
find out about the music
is the CD jammed or upside down
i'd really like to feel you with dinner
and we're sitting on a city bench
together in the tourist town
if the fashion ad were here
you'd be in it, in it
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around now
The girl is cold and so is he
but hes still warm she's way too kind
when you walked in the morning after
looking good you know it
yeah, yeah, yeah
oohahh, i'm closing my eyes and
i'm spinning, spinning away away
well i don't know if i should stay but
what do i do when you say it's ok.
Listen to me, this is insane.
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around
what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around
yeah yeah yeah yeah...
fall down with me and roll around, round . . .
Just another Quiz
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(no subject)
Songs speak, when it seems I cannot move my lips.
I've brought myself back,
to the moments I remember to be glorious.
Warping myself forward to realities fucked up version of living, is this as good as it gets?
I'm starting to think so.
In the desperate search for ones self, it is usually found that we are nothing but simple, unaltered versions of the face we see every morning in our bathroom mirrors.
Prove me wrong?
"Somehow I have survived."
I've brought myself back,
to the moments I remember to be glorious.
Warping myself forward to realities fucked up version of living, is this as good as it gets?
I'm starting to think so.
In the desperate search for ones self, it is usually found that we are nothing but simple, unaltered versions of the face we see every morning in our bathroom mirrors.
Prove me wrong?
"Somehow I have survived."
(no subject)
The day so dragged!!! My feeties hurt!!!
I'm 98% done with the damn 950's. I'm figuring I'll have a total of 21 pallets by the time I thru tomorrow night. *sigh* This thing has been taking me forever. I started working on it almost 3weeks ago. We have a/c's up the ass!!! BUT, it shall be done, and transpo is calling me again when I get to work tomorrow. Yeah, then a week later, I'll get the Oct. 950's thrown at me..grrr!!
Laundry time, when Jenn gets home, how fun is that?
I just absolutely heart laundry.
Ok..I'm off like a dress on prom night. :)
I'm 98% done with the damn 950's. I'm figuring I'll have a total of 21 pallets by the time I thru tomorrow night. *sigh* This thing has been taking me forever. I started working on it almost 3weeks ago. We have a/c's up the ass!!! BUT, it shall be done, and transpo is calling me again when I get to work tomorrow. Yeah, then a week later, I'll get the Oct. 950's thrown at me..grrr!!
Laundry time, when Jenn gets home, how fun is that?
I just absolutely heart laundry.
Ok..I'm off like a dress on prom night. :)
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bored
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