Emmaweee

hiii!!!!!!?????



-about to move home
-officially declared dual major in Social Work and Criminal Justice
-about to be...a JUNIOR
-need a job
-can't wait to move home
-fuck bitches and boys
-my bullshit tolerance is ZERO
-i have a new haircut
-i'm single, don't wanna mingle
-moving into a 4 bdrm in easthill august 1st with my girls
-the old sacred heart is my neighbor!
-it's good to be back
-i need a shower...byeeeeeyyyyy

reading old journals are either embarrassing or pitiful. hah.. but you gotta admit, it's true.

sooo, i haven't really updating my journal in a while. in a nutshell, life is awesome possum.
last year this time i was extremely depressed and was suffering a post-traumatic symptoms.
this year couldn't be more different. i thank god for that. this book i read also really helped with finding peace. and it definitely has taught me how to catch myself from negative thinking or subconsciously wrapping myself around bad thoughts, which can be very addicting. for example, when you are upset, angry, or sad, do you listen to music to make yourself feel better and happier, or do you typically search out the best band/songs to fit you're current state? think about it.

here's a few exerpts:

• [Time is what the ego lives on. The stronger the ego, the more time takes over your life. Almost every thought you think is then concerned with past or future, and your sense of self depends on the past for your identity and on the future for it's fulfillment. Fear, anxiety, expectation, regret, guilt, and anger are the dysfunctions of the time-bound consciousness.]
• [Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.]
• [Shakespeare- "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." What is more, suffering or negativity is often misperceived by the ego as pleasure because up to a point the ego strenthens itself through it.]
• [DEFINING YOURSELF THROUGH THOUGHT IS LIMITING YOURSELF.]

btw....whenever i do caps...i worry the reader will think i am yelling at them...i'm not i promise. lol. i'm random.

anywhosers. these are just a few exerpts from the book. its helped me a lot..
i feel like i'm getting my shit together this time around. i gotta toot my own horn and say i'm pretty proud of myself actually.
that being said, it's 3:30 and that is sooooooo late gahhhh i have crap to do tomorrow! night night!

iiiiiiii met somebody.....!!!!

soo. i'd like to toot my horn on a few things. but they are all too personal so i'm not. except for one thing that i don't really mind discussing online; i'm very proud of how i have resisted the desire for attention (from boys duh) but at the same time the temptation of it hasn't really developed much at all. i'm just not too concerned with it. i've thought and prayed so much about it.gahhh. so, if you understand what i am trying to write, and know me a bit, then you'd be all like that's a bucket full'o'crazy.

and so it goes. la la laaa.

la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dear god..
this summer of horrors just will not end.
i'll explain later. maybe.
but wow. wowwwww. WOW. i'm just in complete shock. 
i want to leave and go back to school now. nownownownowNOW.

i dreamt about a bunch of hot vampires and i was hanging out with them. one of them was heath ledger. mmmmmmmmmm. fuck i wish it was lucid. dyamn. wahhh.

well. it's the real deal this time. i told cory that we should back off from whatever it is we had going on.
sometimes we both understood each other and others like we speak different languages.
it'll take a while to end up being friends again. that's typically how it is... =/
i'm a lil bummed but i think it's for the best for the both of us. hope he feels that way too.
before it happened he called me out on something i needed to be called out on. 
i'd like to thank him for that, but i'm assuming right now isn't the time.






btw, i finally talked to my dad. it was long over due and so worth it.
i feel so much better. i think i'm going to nip, whatever this is, in the bud.

so this is what i did yesterday.
 



i likes it!

i have really bad bad cramps. but i'm not due to start my pd for another week. hmm.....
so, i just thought you should know, that i'm about to do so crazy awesome makeup. haven't in a long time. and i'm really friggin excited about it.
i'll post pics when i'm done in a few hours. =D =-D >D