Do you know....?

one of those days, where I'm not happy with anything, nothing can satisfy me. Just went out to dinner with some family friends which was great. Until we got home (at 9 o'clock...) and mom told me i couldn't go out.....just because they're old and lazy and w/e...i have to stay home?!?!?! Days like this make me realize how much i hate my life here at home, and i need to go to college and get away, far far away. LIke very soon. I'm the kinda person that holds in everything, all my secrets, all my emotions....then when i get angry, kinda like now....i explode, and basically break down. i cry, i throw a little mini fit when mom n dad come in my rooom n ask me why i'm staying in here all locked up. i feel like no one understands me, which makes me angry because i am a very simple person to please, and understand. i want to be with friends, when i feel like having fun, and when i feel like being alone, leave me alone!! like really...how hard is that? i don't know. apparently impossible. mom gets mad when i don't talk to her about stuff....."stuff...." if i talked to her about all my problems, she would think i was, 1. insane (i would be in an institute right now...) 2. stupid, because i love him, and she would never understand why. and lastly 3. immature, when in reality, i'm ten times more mature than all my friends and all.. she really doesn't know how good she has it, i could be so bad, get in so much trouble, sneek out to see him in the midddle of the night. but i don't, i'm not....and yet she still complains when i want to be left alone and when i won't talk to her......


ok enough venting, i think i'm just gonna go to bed..... nite everyone :)

(hope everyone had a great holiday!!! and happy 2009!!!!!!!!!!!)