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  • In 2012, NASA moved the space shuttle Endeavour through the streets of Los Angeles to the California Science Center.

  • Anyway, who fucking needs AI to write for them?

  • your video is mistitled - should be 'Why I definitely should be writing action movies' :D

  • congratulations! you have built a star war.

    It is vintage times. The powers that be have accepted your casting decisions, and are tentatively moving forward with shooting their new science fiction epic, recently renamed Planet Battles. (somebody thought it sounded cooler.) before they print the posters, take a look at the cast you, the electorate, have assembled!

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    • Luke Skywalker—Sabu Dastagir
    • Princess Leia—Suraiya
    • Han Solo—Toshiro Mifune
    • Obi-Wan Kenobi—Takashi Shimura
    • Darth Vader—Bela Lugosi
    • Chewbacca—a Ray Harryhausen stop motion
    • C-3PO—Charles Hawtrey
    • R2-D2—Groucho Marx
    • The Millenium Falcon—Flash Gordon's spaceship (I'm joking, I just needed a ninth thing to complete the grid)

    the studio heads are slightly worried this concept is too weird to take off, but hey, even if it fails, i hear the 1977 remake is pretty good.

  • Comic caption: growing up, my family watched historical dramas the same way they watched the football  Cartoony drawing of me on the floor, younger brother happily playing gameboy in the corner, uncle half-standing ’it’s all to play for…yes… yes…!!’, my mum edge of her seat ‘he’s going in for the hand touch!!!’ my dad peering over a book ‘risky move…’  From the tv a wiggly bubble emerges that says ‘miss whistleford-smythe…’ALT
    Comic panels: On the tv a vaguely regency or victorian (ish) period drama is playing, where some guy in a top hat and a big bow cravat is saying “if you would do me the honour—“  In the next panel, his pinkie nearly touches a woman’s hand…ALT
    On the tv, she turns away and lifts the teacup slightly with a ‘humph’    In a panel back in the room, my uncle (on his knees in despair) “he’s fumbled it!”, my mum on her feet with tears in her eyes yelling ‘NOOOO’, me in anguish, my dad ‘what an idiot’, younger brother still playing gameboy happily in the corner unmovedALT

    high ambient background football levels reminded me to actually finish this Personal Lore That Caused My Books comic

  • This kid is so fucking good holy shit. I love how into it the audience is, too

  • So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)

    Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

    So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

    But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

    It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

    So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

    Small screenshot of a text message saying: Hey. Where is the kiosk?ALT

    Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

    And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

    So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

    So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

    I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.

  • Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:

    My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

    Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

    Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

    Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

    Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues


    (also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)

  • ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:

    According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

    Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

    For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

    So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.

  • Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.

    Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

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    Aaand a close-up:

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    The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace

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    HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

    via @kagaminilen

  • [cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]

  • Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful

  • Anonymous
    sent a message

    My last recipe

    3x plain sugar cookies (store bought)

    chili oil

    crumble the cookie (into large chunks). dip or let soak in chili oil until you know it to be done. enjoy

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    Goodbye Chilli Oil Anon…Your legacy will not be forgotten

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    patterns left by woodworms on driftwood

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    drawing people i see in the city (60/?)

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    &. lilac theme by seyche