~sanity is overated~

ta daaaa.... im here in MI till the 28th... everyone must say hi to me...

i simply wish the pain and troubles of life would stop...

id like to let ppl know that my mom passed away... she died on thursday...

to thos who don't know my mom and to thos who do id like that u take a moment to regard an amazing woman named Eleanor Dawn Frye... she was 49 years old when she passed leaving behind a strong a loving father, an unwavering and loving mother and me, her loving little girl of 20 years... my mom, tho she had her flaws, was an amazing and life changing person... life had cast a cloud of illness and hardship apon my mom for many years but she continued to live the best she new how... when life struck her, like a shot from a 50 cal, such as it did many times, first with the loss of her first chiled, a son named Robert V Frye, then whith her shattering devorce, she would cry a thousand tears then continue live no matter the pain... she was the kind of person that was almost impossible to forget, u may forget her name but never who she was... she was simply a woman who inspired life in everyone around her...

and to thos who know her and to thos who that don't please just take a moment to think of and remember her....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!



all fear the evil demonic chigger monsters........

soooooo... what did everyone do for fathers day???

my brothers, shawn and jimmy, and i went with our dad to some river and went kiaking... it was ok going down river except for the water being soo low and banking the boats over and over again and every once and awile needing to get out and drag them across the sand bars, and we assumed that going back up would be no sweat seeing as the water was soo low and there was no curant at all, but when we were about a half mile away from were we started at the top of the river we could here the alarm that the damn was opening up... now its not as bad as it sounds, the damn at the very top of the river is constantly closing, allowing the water levle to drop, and reopening, raising the levle back up again... the water dosn't rush out like some movies depict... but the current does get insainly strog for about 2-3 hours when it opens and the levle is rising... so we had to paddle through that for a half of a mile... it wasn't soo bad tho... i did get sunburned tho...

well thats what i did on daddies day.......... ohhhhh-ahhhhhhh......

well im in SC now with my family waiting till i can start classes... ive only been here a lil over a week and i already miss my friends in MI... well ill get use to the change sooner or later, hopfully sooner rather then later... ne-way ive been just settleing in and waithing for work, hoping work will start soon so i can start putting it away to save for a car... seeing as i permantly broke my saturn i need to get my hands on a new car soon...



well not much left to say at the moment soo i go.......

well i flipped again... not in the way that is bad, in a good way in fact... i can't quite explain it but iv been insainly in a good mood the last few days and i hope it doesn't end any time soon... ive been doing invintory on what i have to take with me to SC and talking to my dad a lot about it and so far everything is working out great... the only thing now is, seeing as my moving date is getting closer and closer, that i don't want to leave everything and everyone ive grown to love... if i had it compleatly my way id drag it all with me but i know that isn't fair to others... i have nothing here, not counting those in my life i care deeply for, working for me except stuggle and constaint trial and everything lined up for me in SC... im really excited about my move cause its like i get to start everything all over again, my slate whipped clean and my hole life anew... i guess thats why im soo happy... no matter what is thrown at me i can take it dead on right now knowing that soon it will no longer be a problem in my life... the only depressing thing about the move is that, as i said befor, i don't want to leave the ppl in my life i care for... one person in particular is someone who has brought more light in my life then i have really ever noticed befor... everyone who knows me knows who im talking about, S... as much as i love those in my life i love him even more and i want to just hold on to that forever... it makes me angry when i realize how happy some ppl r going to be once im gone knowing that im no longer there to keep them from him... they r the ppl who lust after him like he was a piece of meat that they can't wait to sink thier teeth into and that brings an anger into my heart that ive rarely known befor... he is not a piece of meat he is a person, a wonderful person who is matched by no other, his kindness and wonderful love for everything and everyone around him is almost never ending, his intelect never stops surprising me, his generosity is overwhelming and he, in my eyes, is next to perfect... this is why it is soo hard for me to realize i am leaving, leaving him... this is why my love for him is so strong... this love i have for him is like nothing ive ever known and sometimes it terrifies me think that i might loose that someday and never have it agian... he is truly awsome for he really does leave me in aww and wonder...


well im off to bounce off walls... yeah walls...

wow...


im soo sick of it all... these games that everyone seems to so love playing r really becomeing out of hand and insain and im soo worn down by it all... ive become emotionall, spiritually, mentally and physically exhausted of all the unwanted B/S that is, has and probly for a long time continue to go on... i want to just give up and wave my white flag up high for all to see... i want to just find a well hidden hole to crawl into and hide from it all... do ppl really think that all this crap they r giving out is wanted, needed or even nesecary... well no its not... this shit really needs to stop, all of it, and never happen again... either it stop or ppl who claim to have at least some respect for me show me that respect and just leave me out of it... i just can't take it anymore... at this point i feel as if im about to either explode or just fully break down... what was once grief i felt about my soon to come move is now replaced, not compleatly, with relief... im finding myself more and more pleased about leaving it all behind and starting my life a new... ppl most really think that my life is free from conflict seeing as how everyone loves to place all thier conflict apon my sholders or dish out more conflict to me like its fucking candy or something... but here is a news flash for some ppl........ i have enough damn conflict of my own thank u all and i don't require any more... ive come to the point were i really can't fully deal with all the conflict of my own, the problems of mine that rest on my sholders r still pulling me down to a place that kills my very soul, my heart is still broken into billions of tiny pieces, shattered really, and i struggle everyday to dessperatly attempt piecing thos fragments back together, i have no true pride in myself and never really had, im only good at one thing and that is putting on my mask everyday day of my pathetic miserable life and playing the role of the person ppl see me as, so i really can't deal with anything else anymore... but if ppl still feel obligated to abuse me, and obviously a lot of ppl still do, then please do me the favor and waiting till i am dead to do so....................

well today is my b-day... hoohaa... didn't do too much today other then put 100 miles on my car going in the rong direction trying to take my mom to a specialist for her medical problems... then after finally getting home we decided to go out to eat, my mom and i, to joes crab shack... that was nice, kinda frightning tho cause my mom told the staff it was my b-day so they made me wear a neon pink cowgirl hat and ride a kids toy horse around the dinning area while they sang happy b-day to me... ill smuther her in her sleep for that one... not really but im still thinking of something to do to get back at her for that... saturday was my party... that was tons of fun... oh and for anyone that didn't get the invite sry it was ment to be a surprise for me so i didn't know who was called and who wasn't...


well g2r, ive got work soon.... blaaaa....