Messages from Darkness

I don't know when I last posted here, but I know it's been awhile. All I know this is that I'm coming back into the shadows from the Light of the mundane world. I feel like I'm coming home again.

I had a dream that reminded me of my connections: to others on this path as well as to my own spirituality. The figure of the vampire came up.

Some of the mundane world has been my schooling, and, for the first time in my life, I'm actually really enjoying writing both of the research papers I'm writing this semester. One of them is about vampires and how they represent dangerous sexuality (thanks, Conn). The other one is about gender performance in Twelfth Night. Obviously, both of these topics are a deep part of my spirituality, even if I wasn't deliberately thinking about spirituality when I picked them.

I'm also rethinking notions of Power, and the question: is there something inherently divisive about Power? Are those who become sorcerers/sorceresses (to use a word that connotates power more so than the word "witch" does) destined to a certain amount of isolation, as mystics and writers do?

I miss people. I miss the connections I had in Champaign. But as I think about my most powerful group reunions/meetings, I wonder if they were destined to fall apart the way they did, because of the nature of power. And I wonder what my own relation to it is: I was startled by something I wrote about women who bash men in that sort of popular tongue-in-cheek kind of way that you see so frequently in the media. I said that by blaming men for their problems, they were failing to take responsibility for their own actions . . . and that by not taking responsibility for their own actions, they were limiting their own power (an idea I admittedly got from T. Thorn Coyle). Then, when I read over my post, (this was on a writing forum), I realized that I sounded like a power monger. The point I was trying to make was that this sort of male-bashing isn't good for women, either, even if it's men who feel the brunt of it, but in the process, I kind of ended up romanticizing the entire notion of power. I realized that to people of other religious persuasions than mine, it must look pretty darn selfish. And yet, I think it's important. I think people should become powerful, allow themselves to be powerful, and resist the urge to settle for less than they are. Maybe my problem with the coven I tried to be a part of in Champaign was that they weren't as power-focused, and didn't know how to deal with me. Maybe to them, my entire nature really was selfish because I insisted on using my own power and encouraging everyone else to use theirs and they didn't see that as working in a group situation . . . and that they didn't know how to put that feeling into words. I had thought it was because of my darkness, but maybe it was really because of my light. To this day, I am convinced that it was a roadblock in the flow of understanding. They didn't understand me, and I clearly didn't understand them.

To return to the question: is it possible that they were right? That a group of individuals who all fully express their power is doomed to fall apart due to division? Or can we all somehow learn to grow together without being One (in that kind of idealistic unification sense)?

And how is this related to vampires?

[cross-posted to ravens_quills]

My muse gave me a wonderful birthday present today, in the form of a plot!

In researching the time period I'm interested in, from the points of view I'm interested in (slavery, voodoo, piracy), I ran across, on two occasions (the voodoo and slavery parts) the first successful slave rebellion which made Haiti an independent country. The rebellion was started by a voodoo ritual.

The dates are uncertain, but I've decided to make this the climax of my novel - my main character is going to be the priestess involved, and she is working for revenge and to free her brother, who is still a slave there.

Not sure if that will work out, or if I'll have to make her more of a secondary character, since she would be a stranger to all but her brother, and I don't know if the only people at the ritual were slaves or not. I suppose it could probably be tweaked, depending on how many people were present, and whether they would recognize a stranger or not, or more importantly, if all the written accounts are from whites, whether *they* would recognize a stranger.

I also need more research on the slavery aspect. I know that families were often separated, but did that happen in Africa or in the New World? And if in Africa, where? Would she and her brother have been together until they made it to the French slave trading port? Or would they have been separated before that, so she wouldn't know where he ended up?

I also need to know which loa was responsible for the rebellion, so that, if she can be the priestess in question, I can make her be linked closely with that loa.

Anyway, I'm very excited, and I think this may be the best birthday present I've ever received from the universe or anyone else :)

[crossposted to ravens_quills]

Questions I need answers to:

Do I want a rich European on board? If so, how did she get there? Is she pregnant?

I think I do, if it is plausible. I think I want her to be pregnant, and die in childbirth, leaving a baby boy for the pirates to deal with.

What happens to the people running the slave ship?

How do these particular pirates feel about slavery - needs research - which pirate era am I doing?

Do I want to involve vampires? No.

When would this have occurred?

How does the French slave trade match up to piracy?

What sort of pirates would be most active at that time?

How would anyone not involved in the slave trade end up either on the slave ship attacked by the pirates, or on the pirate ship?

Would normal (i.e. not religiously oppressed or other wise *sent* there) Europeans visit the colonies?

What about the religious question?

What is the central conflict?

Where is the main character originally from?

What is the main character’s motivation?

Do I want a villain?

Was Anne Bonny or any other known female pirates active at the time of the novel? If so, remember to make allusions to her.

I have 4 beginning scenes, but no idea where to go from there, mostly because I don’t know the main character’s motivation, nor the main central conflict. They are:

1. On board the slave ship
2. Capture!
3. Calming the seas, gradually win respect.
4. Midwife to pregnant woman - protect the child

Well, I'm getting back into writing a bit, and may give a stab to NaNoWriMo this year again. I don't plan on overdoing it, though. In the past, novels have tended to overrun my life during November, and I can't afford that this year.

However, I have a shiny new pirate idea I want to play with, and so I'm going to probably use it during November. My word count goal is only going to be 30,000, though. If I do more, great, but most of my time these days is spent doing work for school, and that can't suffer. I figure 1,000 words a day is doable.

Here's the idea (needs to be researched, though, to make sure the chronology fits):

African woman, who is a voodoo priestess, is captured by other Africans and sold to the French. The French transport her, via the Middle Passage, to Haiti. On the way, she asks les invisibles for help. A storm comes up, and the ship is attacked by pirates. All the Europeans (except perhaps for a rich girl kept for ransom) are killed, but the Africans are kept to be resold by the pirates.

First problem: Not sure if pirates actually attacked slave ships.
Second problem: Although both practices were going on at the same time, most of the research I found focused on the English, not the French.

While this doesn't seem like much of an improvement, the voodoo powers of the main character become apparent to the pirates, who decide she'd be better off as an adviser than sold, so she rises in status. The success of her spell/prayer means that she owes les invisibles a debt.

Not sure exactly how it comes about, but I'm anticipating her falling in love, and the debt she owes is going to involve sacrificing her love: either by letting him fall to death or by encouraging him to marry someone else.

So, those are my thoughts so far. I may put this up on my writing journal as well: ravens_quills.

For this meme, I was tagged by masters_pet. I met her through the adult_witchery community.

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag some people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

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Oh, right - I need to tag someone... I'll go with a couple of people I don't know that well: elfwytch and sanglupa.

I did the offerings tonight with the following:

Sky: candle
"Deities of Dark and Light,
Those who endure beyond us**,
Mysterious ones of the cloud,
Be welcome at my hearth."

Land: sugar cube
"Spirit friends of beast and branch,
Those who dwell beside us,
Merry ones of the Wood,
Be welcome at my hearth."

Sea: water mixed with Florida water
"Ancestors of Craft and Blood,
Those who have gone before us,
Mighty ones of the dead,
Be welcome at my hearth."

I had originally thought of incense as for Sky, rather than a candle, but have thought through it a bit and realized that, at least for me, Ian is right about it relating to all three. His reason was that scent permeates everything. That didn't quite work for me, but after thinking about it, I realized:

The stick (if it's stick incense) and the actual material (whether herb or resin) are related to the Land. The smoke rises, relating it to the Sky. And what you have left are ashes, which brings to mind the dead, and the realm of the Sea.

**not sure about this line, as all three groups of entities endure beyond us, not just the Sky ones.

Gah.

Well, Sunday night, I came down with the stomach flu. Sick for two days, and lost track of dates for the syllabus for psych, meaning that I'm now terribly, terribly behind. Somehow, I have to do lots of psych AND write up a rough draft of my spiritualism presentation this week-end. Or at least do the research and then organize it properly.

Tomorrow night, our belly dance troupe is performing, which means less time, so tomorrow's basically going to be reading Oliver Twist and doing the short (100-200 word) homework on some passage therein.

Tonight, I read Gertrude Stein. Very interesting. I think I like her, but I wish I understood her better. Also, for Structure of the English language, I read the short pieces for tomorrow - all of which were arguments for or against the idea of "Standard" English, and whether or not teachers should correct dialects or not. Interesting stuff. I find myself vaguely in the middle, erring towards allowing dialects except in classes designed to teach "Standard English" which I do think should be available, and probably required, although I'm less sure on that.

I myself love "Standard English" and am rather a perfectionist about it even in speech, except in extreme cases, such as who vs. whom and ending sentences with prepositions. But I don't think that just because someone don't talk right, it means they don't think right.

But, I worked straight - either school or old job - from 9 a.m. until 11 p.m. so I think I've had it for awhile. Here's hoping I don't get sick again.

Not as well as I hoped, but I did get started on the spiritualism research, got a planner and a notebook for the research, and did the laundry. No finances, though - that will have to be tomorrow.

So, new schedule looks like this:

Tomorrow: read what's required for American lit, but not Gloria Stein, psych, finances, and figuring out the bag.

Monday: Gertrude Stein, Oliver Twist, more spiritualism.

And we watched 3 episodes of Heroes, so no overt spirituality today.

So, today, I went to school and worked. Tomorrow, I have spiritualism to research, my room to clean, bills to pay, and a planner to get. I also am hoping *crosses fingers* to do my Star journey -- finally! Problem is, we're probably watching Heroes, which I do want to see -- I just don't want it to interfere with my ritual. Of course, this is the problem having only ONE evening free.

Sunday: American literature, psych, fixing my bag situation, and finding examples of weird English for my Structure of the English Language class.

I'm planning on continuing to read Oliver Twist late at night, until it is done. I'm over half-way there, so this shouldn't be a problem.

Nothing overtly spiritual today, but lots of Oliver Twist.

Random thoughts about this year's election. I'm usually left of the left, so that should be enough to tell you where this is going. There are also some feminist thoughts about Hillary's speech, or rather the reaction to it.

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