Nothing seems to fill this emptiness i feel within myself. I believe it's love I crave but at the same time when love is there i simply shunt it away. I turn to the blade, that is the only thing that relieves me. Crimson tears shed down my arm, with the marks only to be hidden away the next day. It helps me cope, something i look forward to at college- if i've had an arguement or a shit game then i know exactly where the blade is and where it is going to take the pain away for those few minutes. Oh just one more cut, just one more- is the extra one ever enough? Until i get carted away in an ambulance again the extra one will have to be enough, cannot be having crises teams and psychiatrists surrounding me. People think they understand, or like me they try to hide it away. A close friend buying me a big wrist band to cover up scars, doesn't cover the whole arm i joke-her nervous laughter being the response. I feel empty at the moment, the blade is losing it's touch there never seems to be enough blood spilt- the pain is not leaving me anymore through these crimson tears. There must be an alternative, can anyone name some?