drawing is all sbout becoming good at illustrating one character at 3/4 angle and nothing else no backgrounds no props no furniture no money no job no future
real gaming
friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her
-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them
-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail
-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash
guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared
AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg
shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)
fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL
"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both
i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:
-axe (stolen)
-earrings made out of dentures
-flavored condoms
-a quilt
-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)
-deer spine
-baseball sized wad of human hair
-""sex apron""
-uranium glass plate
-pile of non-uranium non-car glass
-rollerblades
-complete phantom of the opera cd set
-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick
-lego millennium falcon
-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")
-the back bumper of the car
-an entire fucking ant colony
and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,
-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long
i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.
guys i cant take it anymore
bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup
the Ghost in the Shell manga is weird and kinda bad but at least i now know that Motoko Kusanagi is canonically a bottom
ladies, it is my pleasure to inform you that peak cinema has been achieved at last
I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.
Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."
I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job
gshsjb
