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Harry Potter is trending at #1 on tumblr so I thought I’d take the opportunity to say fuck JKR, fuck transphobes, fuck her stupid books, her theme park, her endless landfill fodder merch slop, and her fucking castle on a hill. Read another book yall!! Read another book!!!!!!!
we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough
Branson Reese, whoever you are, I keep your words in my heart all the time.
"branson reese, whoever you are" put some respect on the smooth sharks one fear man's name
i like that the maned wolf and the bush dog are each other's closest living relatives. they're like cartoon henchmen
this is gospel to me
why is everything a dead wife to you people.
my dead skateboarding cousin
Memento Throckmori
ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on
FUCK this post and happy birthday sonic
To he fair: He very much so is in the first game
missing Dennis and his panty boy rn 😔. him finding ur not so secret twt account where you post your lingerie pics. he immediately realizes its you bc of the photos he secretly sent to himself. btw what happens after Dennis held you up in the locker room about the panty thing?
Ahh yesss it’s been awhile since I talked about this universe. Love that it’s growing branches. Attending Dennis that follows the link on the twitter he found to an onlyfans account that he becomes the biggest donor for.
As far as the universe where the locker room confrontation takes place, I like to imagine that reader asks Dennis into an office a few days later and Dennis is like “oh boy, here we go. HR is definitely on the other side of that door.” But instead it’s just a dark, empty office. Reader locks the door after they’ve both stepped through and strips down to show off a dark blue lace set.
“You said I was pretty. Can you tell me…is this one pretty?” Dennis brain short circuits. Any words would fall short in describing the lust you evoke in him, so he settles for hoisting you into the desk and showing you.
Okay I have a scene to set for you guys: vanilla robby who’s been pining after Jack for 30 years and Dennis for about 30 weeks. Owner power bottom Dennis and his mutt subtop Jack who are in a committed relationship that’s not necessarily a secret but they keep it professional and the PDA at a minimum at work, so not a lot of people know. Robby knows though, just that they’re together, not…. all the details of their bedroom dynamics.
The scene: Robby finally breaks down one night after a lovely dinner and a drink with huckleabbot at Jack’s house. He’s a pathetic teary-eyed mess and knows he’s not good enough for either of them but fuck if he doesn’t at least try, he’ll never forgive himself. Dennis and Jack, who have been plotting and scheming to get Robby to confess for weeks, play up their shock just a little before consoling Robby and inviting him to stay the night. Nothing promised, nothing expected, just to see what happens and test the waters a little. Robby asks if he can just watch for now because he’s so nervous and filled with shock and adrenaline he’d be absolutely useless for anything. So they put him in the cuck chair. Dennis and Jack have discussed this scenario thoroughly and many times in the past, and moved around each other with ease. Dennis went to the closet to grab Jack’s things while Jack leans over Robby and flutters sweet little kisses all over his face and neck. Robby is flushed as red as a tomato and nearly shaking by the time Dennis steps back into the room with a kneeler and Jack’s ears and his collar. He leaves the rest of the gear in the box for now, not wanting to overwhelm Robby or scare him off but they know what they’re about, and Robby should know too if he wants in.
Dennis sets the kneeler at the foot of the bed, facing Robby’s chair. Jack’s full attention now on Dennis, all the kid has to do is give a pointed look toward Jack, then at the kneeler. Jack starts disrobing until he’s fully nude and kneels down. His eyes flutter closed and his chin tilts up, making a pretty picture as he waits. Dennis steps behind him and settles the brown and silver ears onto the top of his head, giving Jack’s hair a ruffle strong enough to wobble his head back and forth a little. Jack just gets this dopey grin and keeps waiting. Neither of them have said a word, to each other or to Robby. There will be no explaining or talking it through. Robby asked to watch, so he’s going to watch.
He watches Jack’s entire demeanor shift when Dennis puts the soft leather collar on him. He watches the pure love pass between them when Jack finally opens his eyes to look up at Dennis. He watches Dennis praise Jack and touch him and love him and own him, and he’s starting to get really hot in his chair. The sounds of his panting breaths and restrained noises are starting to filter towards the couple, now on the bed, and Dennis gives him a heavy look.
“Are you feeling left out, Robby?” Den lays the pity on thick, condescension clear in his voice. It’s a bit of a risk, but given Robby’s … condition, he thinks it’ll be worth the reward.
He’s right. Robby can’t even speak he’s so worked up, twitching around in the chair like he’s barely holding himself back from leaping into the bed with them. But he doesn’t, he nods vigorously and gives what he hopes is his best pleading expression.
Dennis just laughs, the sound cut off by a moan as Jack must do something wicked with his mouth where it’s been between Dennis’s legs for the past thirty minutes. “Well, that’s a real shame. I’d love to play, introduce you to my mutt, but you asked to watch. So that’s all you get. Just sit there and look pretty for me, big boy. You’re doing so good.”
Robby makes a noise like he’s been shot. Fuck, no one’s ever spoken to him like that, especially not in the bedroom. He’d heard of some of this… puppy stuff in the past, but never had the urge to explore it. He’s not one to yuck someone’s yum, but he was perfectly happy with his enjoyable, normal sex. Or, he thought he was. But the more he watches Jack and Dennis, the more he thinks he might want to try it. He’s definitely into Dennis telling him what to do, calling him pretty, and telling him that he’s good. It’s like taking a hit of a brand new drug and getting the sinking feeling that you’re absolutely fucking addicted.
Of course, Robby may as well be singing all this to the stars for as clear as his expression is. He’s… wanting, to say the least. Leaning farther and farther forward in the chair, hands getting insistently more twitchy.
When he finally moves forward enough in the chair that it lets out a single creak that seems to echo through the room like thunder, Jack stops what he’s doing, gone so still Robby thought something might have gone wrong. Well, he supposed, something did. Jack must have seen Robby as some sort of opponent or threat, because the guttural sound that flies out of his throat is not even close to human. He’s never heard Jack make a noise like that before in his life, and he’s known the guy for a long time. Robby doesn’t know whether to be offended, scared, or turned on.
Dennis pets one hand through Jack’s hair for a bit after that, shushing and cooing at him and mumbling all sorts of lovely praises and reassurances. It’s okay baby, shhh, everything’s okay, just keep doing what you’re doing, you’ve been so good for me, my sweet boy, my pretty puppy, on and on until Jack relaxes back into the mattress and continues. Only when he’s calmed down does Dennis level a look at Robby. It’s a decidedly unfriendly look. It makes Robby twitch so hard in his pants that Dennis clocks it from the bed.
“You stay there.” Robby settles. “Sit back in the chair and clasp your hands together behind it.” He does, so quickly he’s sure he’d be embarrassed if he gave a fuck. “Good. If I see them again, I’ll come over there and tie you down.” Robby fails to see the problem with that, and Dennis can tell. “You do not want that. It will not be a fun experience for you. Don’t you just want to sit there and let me look at you? Don’t you want to watch Jack? He’s being such a good, sweet boy, showing you how to touch me.” Robby nearly bites his tongue clean off stopping himself from resorting to actual begging. He’s never begged for anything in his life, but he would beg for this, for them. “Mmmmm….” Dennis moans contemplatively, turning his attention back to Jack but still speaking to Robby. “Maybe I should have him show you how to fuck me. He’s real good at it, mounts me like the good mutt he is and gives it all he’s got. Works that beautiful, perfect cock like magic. Makes me come so fucking hard.” Robby would like that very much, thank you, but he’s practicing being good so he only swallows his words and clasps his hands harder behind his back. Dennis pays him absolutely no mind, but he keeps talking. “Or maybe I should have him show you how he fucks me, so you can get an idea of how he’d fuck you.”
Oh. Shit. The. Bed. That’s not something Robby’s told anyone before, especially not Jack. But he’d certainly thought of it, what it might feel like to have Jack under him, on him, inside of him. God, had he thought about it. Many, many times. He’s never been so hard in his life and Dennis just keeps fucking going. The fucking mouth on this kid, Robby had no idea. “Yeah, big strong guy like yourself, you’re just the type. The perfect, pliant little hole for pretty mutts like this to warm their big cocks in. I bet Jackie here would love having a shiny new toy to play with. He’s a little rough sometimes, but that’s okay, isn’t it? You’d probably like that, wouldn’t you. A nice, hard fucking from a big alpha male, getting you nice and stupid and bred so good you’ll be ripe with pups. The perfect bitch.”
Robby comes in his pants, completely untouched, and of course that’s when the two on the bed turn their undivided attention fully towards him. By the sounds he’s making, they’re worried he’s in pain until they see the wet spot on his pants getting bigger and bigger and they both get the most evil looks on their faces. Robby should be embarrassed. By all rights he should be fucking mortified. That hasn’t happened to him since—well, he actually doesn’t think that’s ever happened to him, and no, he’s not just saying that. But he’s not mortified. He’s so fucking turned on. He’s so horny that if he were a younger man, he’d already be filling back out to hardness. Alas, he’s just a dirty old creep watching his med student get luxuriously eaten out by his best friend of over three decades.
His completion seems to signal the end of the scene, as Jack and Dennis clamber off the bed to get cleaned up. Robby does not move from his spot on the chair, hands still tightly clasped behind him. He hasn’t been told to move yet. Den finally pads over in some boxers and one of Jack’s old shirts that’s actually one of Robby’s that he stole some twenty-odd years ago. Given the pleased little smirk he gets when he catches Robby eyeing it, Dennis definitely knows that. He very delicately perches on one of Robby’s thick thighs, avoiding the patch of wetness. “Is this okay?” He asks, as if Robby wouldn’t be absolutely thrilled to finally have the kid in his space, in his lap no less. His head nods dazedly, not quite fully recovered from the high of his orgasm.
Now that he has permission, Dennis proceeds to lightly brush his hands and fingers all over Robby, every inch of him he can reach. His hair, his cheeks, the crow’s feet around his eyes, the beard he’s fantasized about more times than he’d like to admit. A singular chaste, sweet kiss is pressed to the middle of Robby’s forehead, and he suddenly feels like he might cry, so he just closes his eyes until he’s sure he won’t. He feels hands trailing over his shoulders, down his arms, applying just enough pressure that he finally lets go of his hands and brings them around to his front. It’s only when Robby registers a little stinging that he opens his eyes, hoping to meet Den’s, but the kid’s face is turned downward, a deep furrow cut between his brows. His gaze follows to find little crescent-shaped cuts on both of his forearms where Dennis is skimming his fingers. The pain hadn’t even registered at the time, unable to feel any sensation that wasn’t pleasure. Hell, maybe he’d felt it and liked it. They’d have to explore that somehow, right?
But Dennis seemed upset about it, tsking softly and raising Robby’s arms to his mouth, where he laid the gentlest, sweetest kisses over each one. His voice is soft but hoarse when he finally speaks to Robby. “You were just trying so hard to be good, huh? Poor thing. You didn’t have to do that, I never want you to hurt yourself or make yourself uncomfortable for my sake. Okay?”
Robby nods, this time more resolutely, more aware. “I’m sorry.” He’s not sure Dennis even hears him for how soft spoken he is, but he did. Fingers come up to thread through his beard, and he feels lips pressing over the wetness on his cheeks. He’s crying? Fuck. Before he has the chance to feel embarrassed, he’s being kissed. Properly, firmly, dead on the mouth this time. Finally. They must sit and kiss and caress and sigh sweetly for a full five minutes before Dennis pulls back. When Robby opens his eyes, he sees big freckled hands cupping his jaw from behind. Jack is stood directly behind the kid, looking Robby in the eyes with a most terribly fond expression before tilting Den’s head back to drop a smooch on his forehead, then his lips, upside down like Spider-Man. It makes Robby feel… something. He’s not sure what, but it evaporates immediately when Jack gives Robby the same treatment. A jaw cupped in those hands he’s loved for so long he doesn’t remember a time before he didn’t. Two kisses, on the forehead and the mouth, from lips he’s watched yell and scream and laugh and smile and frown, and thought about for more time than is appropriate for anyone to do so about their best friend. A few more tears fall from his eyes, but he’s smiling so no one is too worried about it.
Robby stays the night after that, tucked in the middle with Dennis on one side and Jack on the other, both completely wrapped around and draped over him. He sort of feels like he’s suffocating, but in the best possible way. He knows they’ll have to talk, and he has a lot to learn, but he wants nothing more. Robby can’t remember the last time he felt so excited to wake up in the morning.
The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
Oh jesus, I thought this person was exaggerating until I dared try this out of morbid curiosity. I hate the state of society 🤮
