Extensive Notes Review: Silent Hill
I never actually played the game but I do know them very well as I've viewed many of the Youtube clips and read the excellent SomethingAwful recaps. Playing the game would probably scare the crap outta me because I'm a pussy. Also, I really really suck at gaming; I have neither skills, patience nor capabilities.
So, I rented the movie.
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Hey, I didn't know Boromir was in this. Cool.
You'd think Mommy would've put in the effort to Google the creepy town the kid is sleepwalking about.
Wow, good idea to leave your mentally disturbed child in a car alone, in the middle of the night at a creepy gas station.
Dominatrix cop has a fine ass in those pleather pants.
I wonder why they changed the character from a dad to a mom. Like dads can't be all Papa Bear and tear the world apart to find their kids.
The overhead shot of the car driving on the single road through the woods is very reminiscent of a similar shot in the low-budget horror flick Dead End which was very effective in its creepiness and stared the always-awesome Ray Wise. Rent it, it's good.
Aha, some of the game hallmarks: the fog and radio static.
I believe that in the games, there's also supposed to be a normal Silent Hill where people lived in sunny blandness. I suppose they did away with it here as too confusing.
I wonder if we'll get the
and 
.
Oh, the Dark is coming! Niiice gameplay feel, excellent sets.
The demon kids are a it too GGI for me, but they still are creepy.
Ha, Johnny Cash is good in any situation.
Sweetheart, isn't it obvious that there's something dodgy about the haggy baglady?
There is no way out of Silent Hill.
Unbelievable, the cop is played by Laurie Holden (whom I hated in the Magnificent Seven tv series). Here, she is damn HOT. Day-umn.
Hm, I thought the monsters only came out in the Dark, not in the fog. So where do these whatevers come from?
I can actually smell the school building, all wet stone and broken down cement, dust and piss.
Oh man, oh please, don't touch the freaky corpse in the toilet!
Isn't it about time for the Dark to return?
Oh, there it is. Oh honey, oh you don't want to be on the dark with the thing in the bathroom.
Wow, the rusting effects are awesome, reminds me of the infamous Silent Hill 3 mirror room.
Eep! Toilet corpse is alive-ish!
Ew, way too many huge bugs.*shudder*
Oh! Pyramidhead! With Big Fucking Knife! *fangirls*
Man, the sets and sounds are so like the game, it's amazing. Christian Gans did a fantastic job.
Ah yes, because a paper mask will keep the poison gas out.
No screaming now, the bugs'll hear ya.
I must say, while PH is extremely well done, I did imagine him to be more massive with a denser feel to him.
Oh, back to Boromir, who is wearing a fugly raincoat.
The following scenes are kinda boring. Mom meets up with cult woman and has a creey conversation with evil Alessa and anyway...
The Dark is back and I've been spoiled about this scene already. They all run to the church and PH is gonna fuck this shit UP! He grabs crazy chick and rips her entire skin right off! Wow. and ew, but mainly wow.
And people wonder why I shun organised religion.
Seriously, Cop Laurie is hot! I assume she will get urninated though. Sigh.
Oh, she gets beaten to death apparantly. Such fun. Why do they always kill the really awesome characters?
So, the basements are totally gameplay sets.
Yay! Bubblehead Nurses FTW!
Rose has the biggest balls since Ripley to voluntarily head in the hallway. I'd be a little ball of piss and tears by now, rocking nicely in a corner.
Long but cool flashback of the creation of Silent Hill and the horrid legacy of Alessa.
Oh Rose, you really don't want to see her. Poor curious nurse, I don't remember if she deserved it in the game, but she didn't deserve her fate here.
Back to the crazy cult and oh, you will all die gruesomely.
Hey, Cop Laurie is still somewhat alive...before she gets burned to death. Damnation! I liked her!
Hey Rose, you couldna shown up 10 minutes earlier?! Dammit!
Since Rose melded with evil Alessa, her dress turned rust-coloured, which is a very nice touch.
Oh dear, Alessa is pissed, here comes the Boss Fight.
Ooh, raped by barbed wire. Ew. Massacre, detroy, murder, death, kill.
And creepy Sharon mindmelds with Alessa, I suppose and remains creepy.
They drive and drive and they remain in the fog and they're not home. Are they dead then?
-------
Conclusion
Despite having been massively spolied, it was still a fairly good movie.
Effectively creepy, pretty close to the games in tone, feel and look. Sound and sets in particular were magnificent.
Story-wise, on the other hand, it's not very strong. Gans relied to much on creepy little girls - which were overdone about five minutes after The Ring came out - than on characterisation.
I'm also very ambivalent about the ending. It's a bit of a downer ending leaving the chance of a sequel pretty wide open. Sure, it's eerily well done, but it left me kinda meh.
In all, it was a better moie than I feared and expected and I might watch it again, not in the least to enjoy the effects again.
For the Girls: Nothing really, unless plain old Sean Bean does it for you. Don't throw things at me.
For the Boys: A butch Laurie Holden in leather pants.
For the Slashers: Femslash between Laurie and Rose, perhaps.
You'd think Mommy would've put in the effort to Google the creepy town the kid is sleepwalking about.
Wow, good idea to leave your mentally disturbed child in a car alone, in the middle of the night at a creepy gas station.
Dominatrix cop has a fine ass in those pleather pants.
I wonder why they changed the character from a dad to a mom. Like dads can't be all Papa Bear and tear the world apart to find their kids.
The overhead shot of the car driving on the single road through the woods is very reminiscent of a similar shot in the low-budget horror flick Dead End which was very effective in its creepiness and stared the always-awesome Ray Wise. Rent it, it's good.
Aha, some of the game hallmarks: the fog and radio static.
I believe that in the games, there's also supposed to be a normal Silent Hill where people lived in sunny blandness. I suppose they did away with it here as too confusing.
I wonder if we'll get the
Oh, the Dark is coming! Niiice gameplay feel, excellent sets.
The demon kids are a it too GGI for me, but they still are creepy.
Ha, Johnny Cash is good in any situation.
Sweetheart, isn't it obvious that there's something dodgy about the haggy baglady?
There is no way out of Silent Hill.
Unbelievable, the cop is played by Laurie Holden (whom I hated in the Magnificent Seven tv series). Here, she is damn HOT. Day-umn.
Hm, I thought the monsters only came out in the Dark, not in the fog. So where do these whatevers come from?
I can actually smell the school building, all wet stone and broken down cement, dust and piss.
Oh man, oh please, don't touch the freaky corpse in the toilet!
Isn't it about time for the Dark to return?
Oh, there it is. Oh honey, oh you don't want to be on the dark with the thing in the bathroom.
Wow, the rusting effects are awesome, reminds me of the infamous Silent Hill 3 mirror room.
Eep! Toilet corpse is alive-ish!
Ew, way too many huge bugs.*shudder*
Oh! Pyramidhead! With Big Fucking Knife! *fangirls*
Man, the sets and sounds are so like the game, it's amazing. Christian Gans did a fantastic job.
Ah yes, because a paper mask will keep the poison gas out.
No screaming now, the bugs'll hear ya.
I must say, while PH is extremely well done, I did imagine him to be more massive with a denser feel to him.
Oh, back to Boromir, who is wearing a fugly raincoat.
The following scenes are kinda boring. Mom meets up with cult woman and has a creey conversation with evil Alessa and anyway...
The Dark is back and I've been spoiled about this scene already. They all run to the church and PH is gonna fuck this shit UP! He grabs crazy chick and rips her entire skin right off! Wow. and ew, but mainly wow.
And people wonder why I shun organised religion.
Seriously, Cop Laurie is hot! I assume she will get urninated though. Sigh.
Oh, she gets beaten to death apparantly. Such fun. Why do they always kill the really awesome characters?
So, the basements are totally gameplay sets.
Yay! Bubblehead Nurses FTW!
Rose has the biggest balls since Ripley to voluntarily head in the hallway. I'd be a little ball of piss and tears by now, rocking nicely in a corner.
Long but cool flashback of the creation of Silent Hill and the horrid legacy of Alessa.
Oh Rose, you really don't want to see her. Poor curious nurse, I don't remember if she deserved it in the game, but she didn't deserve her fate here.
Back to the crazy cult and oh, you will all die gruesomely.
Hey, Cop Laurie is still somewhat alive...before she gets burned to death. Damnation! I liked her!
Hey Rose, you couldna shown up 10 minutes earlier?! Dammit!
Since Rose melded with evil Alessa, her dress turned rust-coloured, which is a very nice touch.
Oh dear, Alessa is pissed, here comes the Boss Fight.
Ooh, raped by barbed wire. Ew. Massacre, detroy, murder, death, kill.
And creepy Sharon mindmelds with Alessa, I suppose and remains creepy.
They drive and drive and they remain in the fog and they're not home. Are they dead then?
-------
Conclusion
Despite having been massively spolied, it was still a fairly good movie.
Effectively creepy, pretty close to the games in tone, feel and look. Sound and sets in particular were magnificent.
Story-wise, on the other hand, it's not very strong. Gans relied to much on creepy little girls - which were overdone about five minutes after The Ring came out - than on characterisation.
I'm also very ambivalent about the ending. It's a bit of a downer ending leaving the chance of a sequel pretty wide open. Sure, it's eerily well done, but it left me kinda meh.
In all, it was a better moie than I feared and expected and I might watch it again, not in the least to enjoy the effects again.
For the Girls: Nothing really, unless plain old Sean Bean does it for you. Don't throw things at me.
For the Boys: A butch Laurie Holden in leather pants.
For the Slashers: Femslash between Laurie and Rose, perhaps.