Pyro and Scout Mini-Story Needs An Enema
Title: Pyro and Scout Mini-Story
Author: DevinShadowV
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
I have always wondered what Pyro's gender was just because I overheard that Pyro was a man but then I heard from someone else that Pyro was a woman. Wow, talk about run on sentence. Had to read it twice just to figure out what you were talking about. I'm going to do my best to dissect this, but I'm guessing that will be easier said than done. For starters Sniper didn't care of find out Fair enough, Spy tried but Pyro figured out what he was doing But... he's the spy..., Engineer didn't even think about it I find that a bit hard to believe, Demo was…too drunk And your point is?, Medic wanted to do it but never had time you know, Solider was babbling about his wars This is really crossing that stereotypical line here... and Heavy well…….he just Heavy you know No, I do not know. And you're not going to take the time to explain it to me, either, because you're too wound up trying to get to your pairing. Therefore, none of the other characters matter to you so long as you can just hurry up and get there.. So it was just me…Scout Was the unending sentences your attempt at putting this in Scout's point of view? Well done, your illiteracy impresses me. I had to find out if Pyro was a he or a she. Wait, wait. Wouldn't someone in the office know, like the Administrator? What about knowing who you're working with? It just seems a bit odd that you're in close quarters with someone, their life depending on you, and you don't even know their gender. So I tried find out in the ingame matches but that would never work so when we were done after the match and after the showers that's when it was my chance. I can't even begin to understand what you just said.
Guys were walking out and going home then myself and Pyro were the last to leave. How convenient.
Scout: Hey Pyro.
Pyro: Mhmm.
Scout: I need to talk to you about something.
Oh, really, we're doing this scripted? Really? May I ask... what's so wrong with proper quotations? There's nothing wrong with them. Once again, I am so *impressed* by this. I also noticed that the authors note mentioned that the author was in college when they wrote this. That's just the icing on the cake.
Pyro and I sat down; I was on one bench and Pyro on the other. No other explanation of scenery? This is really lacking in the image department.
Pyro:…
Scout: I…I need to know. That's a bit dramatic for him.
Pyro: Hm?
Scout: The full suit in the shower and the flower bag in your locker…Pyro are you…You know.
Pyro looked down and paused for a moment.
Pyro:…That's not necessary.
Then Pyro put his or her hands Make sure you remember the plot here! It's a he OR a she. She could not have worded that any more eloquently. Nope. Could not possibly be any more clever. on the mask and took it off the mask and I saw a shorted natural red/brown hair and crystal blue eyed…Women. Once again, lacking in description. You've given me nothing to picture here, absolutely nothing.
Scout: So it is true you are a…
Pyro: A women. Why is this such a big deal? Don't we have rights now? Aren't we able fighters, too, aren't we accepted in the work force? This is very sexist, whether it was meant to be or not. Something tells me that some sexual harassment laws need to be enforced here. And especially in this environment in particular, it should be easily assumed that woman is very comfortable and very calloused.
She got up and put her mask in the locker.
Pyro: Scout I need to keep a promise…
Scout: What?
Pyro: Don't tell the guys who I am please don't tell them. Why? Pyro should have every right to be there (though I doubt she'd make the cut... doesn't seem to be very vicious in the fighting department). Also, what's with the sudden change? Why is she talking now? What, the magical mask comes off and she's suddenly a blabber mouth? If you were going to make her talk, why isn't she (at the very least) articulate? You've also erased every trace of character Pyro had before hand. Believe it or not, he did have a personality.
Scout: ... SO unnecessary.
She got up and was starting to take her suit off and I saw a very amazing body, very sexy and surprised that she can survive in the suit between matches. Wow. Just starts stripping in front of him. This is sexist, and it's sexually disturbing. She's working with this man. I don't think the Pyro, or any female Team Fortress OC for that matter, would or should be considered sexy. Because they'd die. They should have a much stronger characteristic than that, and you know it.
Pyro: What?
I turned away my face was turning red. Wow, are you even attempting to keep Scout in character now? He sees a naked woman and he blushes. He does not blush. He may be the youngest of the team, but he's still a man. A rather rude man, at that, and I would like to think that he'd be at least a tiny bit vulgar if he found out that Pyro was female. Which is still itching at my skull. Pyro has the shape of a male, and the voice of a male. It'd be fine if you mentioned it was an OC, or something of the like, but to consider it cannon would be a sin...
Scout: Um nothing.
Pyro smiled and walked over to me. What a tart.
Pyro: You looked at me didn't you? See? She did it on purpose.
Scout: What?! No I was just looking at the… What can you possibly say?! She was stripping in front of you, it's not your fault.
Pyro put her finger on my lips. Man, the sexual harassment law suits are really starting to add up. And it's the female being the harasser, you don't see that often. Snaps for you.
Pyro: Scout I know what I saw. You know because you planned it.
She touched my face with her hands and kissed me on the cheek and my face was really turning red. I think you're forgetting that he's a man again. He's not twelve, he wouldn't blush at something like that. Not his first kiss here, lady.
Pyro: (giggle) Really? You made the Pyro, of all people, giggle? You look like you had too many Bonk drinks. That doesn't even make a lick of sense. Way to be unnaturally corny.
Scout: Well..um…
Pyro: Scout ever since I first saw you when you joined the team I was…worried about you. From what I've seen, she doesn't even know this man. This is just random, and it's not romantic in the least.
Scout: What worried about me?
Pyro: You are the fastest in the group but you are one of the weakest in the group that's not nice, I know for a fact he's better than you. and even though were in the same class Thanks for admitting that you suck. See? That's how you say something in Scout's point of view. I well…
Scout: You care about me don't you? Are you deaf? Did she not just say that five seconds ago when she was 'worried' about you?
She grabbed on to me and was about to cry. Talk about bipolar bear. There was nothing established, this is just random. They don't have a relationship. So far, it seems as though she's seen him around. That is not how love is formed, if that's where you're getting at. Sorry to break it to you, but love at 'first site' does not exist.
Pyro: Yes.
Scout: Hey I'll be ok if we stick together. I'd like to ask why she's even crying, I don't think it was mentioned. She just started randomly crying.
Pyro: Ok.
I closed both Pyro's and my locker and turned off the lights. They were on a bench, if I remember correctly. Just move them around all over the place, don't worry if it confuses the reader! Selfish.
Scout: Let's go home. Yeah, it's that simple.
End.
Author: DevinShadowV
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
I have always wondered what Pyro's gender was just because I overheard that Pyro was a man but then I heard from someone else that Pyro was a woman. Wow, talk about run on sentence. Had to read it twice just to figure out what you were talking about. I'm going to do my best to dissect this, but I'm guessing that will be easier said than done. For starters Sniper didn't care of find out Fair enough, Spy tried but Pyro figured out what he was doing But... he's the spy..., Engineer didn't even think about it I find that a bit hard to believe, Demo was…too drunk And your point is?, Medic wanted to do it but never had time you know, Solider was babbling about his wars This is really crossing that stereotypical line here... and Heavy well…….he just Heavy you know No, I do not know. And you're not going to take the time to explain it to me, either, because you're too wound up trying to get to your pairing. Therefore, none of the other characters matter to you so long as you can just hurry up and get there.. So it was just me…Scout Was the unending sentences your attempt at putting this in Scout's point of view? Well done, your illiteracy impresses me. I had to find out if Pyro was a he or a she. Wait, wait. Wouldn't someone in the office know, like the Administrator? What about knowing who you're working with? It just seems a bit odd that you're in close quarters with someone, their life depending on you, and you don't even know their gender. So I tried find out in the ingame matches but that would never work so when we were done after the match and after the showers that's when it was my chance. I can't even begin to understand what you just said.
Guys were walking out and going home then myself and Pyro were the last to leave. How convenient.
Scout: Hey Pyro.
Pyro: Mhmm.
Scout: I need to talk to you about something.
Oh, really, we're doing this scripted? Really? May I ask... what's so wrong with proper quotations? There's nothing wrong with them. Once again, I am so *impressed* by this. I also noticed that the authors note mentioned that the author was in college when they wrote this. That's just the icing on the cake.
Pyro and I sat down; I was on one bench and Pyro on the other. No other explanation of scenery? This is really lacking in the image department.
Pyro:…
Scout: I…I need to know. That's a bit dramatic for him.
Pyro: Hm?
Scout: The full suit in the shower and the flower bag in your locker…Pyro are you…You know.
Pyro looked down and paused for a moment.
Pyro:…That's not necessary.
Then Pyro put his or her hands Make sure you remember the plot here! It's a he OR a she. She could not have worded that any more eloquently. Nope. Could not possibly be any more clever. on the mask and took it off the mask and I saw a shorted natural red/brown hair and crystal blue eyed…Women. Once again, lacking in description. You've given me nothing to picture here, absolutely nothing.
Scout: So it is true you are a…
Pyro: A women. Why is this such a big deal? Don't we have rights now? Aren't we able fighters, too, aren't we accepted in the work force? This is very sexist, whether it was meant to be or not. Something tells me that some sexual harassment laws need to be enforced here. And especially in this environment in particular, it should be easily assumed that woman is very comfortable and very calloused.
She got up and put her mask in the locker.
Pyro: Scout I need to keep a promise…
Scout: What?
Pyro: Don't tell the guys who I am please don't tell them. Why? Pyro should have every right to be there (though I doubt she'd make the cut... doesn't seem to be very vicious in the fighting department). Also, what's with the sudden change? Why is she talking now? What, the magical mask comes off and she's suddenly a blabber mouth? If you were going to make her talk, why isn't she (at the very least) articulate? You've also erased every trace of character Pyro had before hand. Believe it or not, he did have a personality.
Scout: ... SO unnecessary.
She got up and was starting to take her suit off and I saw a very amazing body, very sexy and surprised that she can survive in the suit between matches. Wow. Just starts stripping in front of him. This is sexist, and it's sexually disturbing. She's working with this man. I don't think the Pyro, or any female Team Fortress OC for that matter, would or should be considered sexy. Because they'd die. They should have a much stronger characteristic than that, and you know it.
Pyro: What?
I turned away my face was turning red. Wow, are you even attempting to keep Scout in character now? He sees a naked woman and he blushes. He does not blush. He may be the youngest of the team, but he's still a man. A rather rude man, at that, and I would like to think that he'd be at least a tiny bit vulgar if he found out that Pyro was female. Which is still itching at my skull. Pyro has the shape of a male, and the voice of a male. It'd be fine if you mentioned it was an OC, or something of the like, but to consider it cannon would be a sin...
Scout: Um nothing.
Pyro smiled and walked over to me. What a tart.
Pyro: You looked at me didn't you? See? She did it on purpose.
Scout: What?! No I was just looking at the… What can you possibly say?! She was stripping in front of you, it's not your fault.
Pyro put her finger on my lips. Man, the sexual harassment law suits are really starting to add up. And it's the female being the harasser, you don't see that often. Snaps for you.
Pyro: Scout I know what I saw. You know because you planned it.
She touched my face with her hands and kissed me on the cheek and my face was really turning red. I think you're forgetting that he's a man again. He's not twelve, he wouldn't blush at something like that. Not his first kiss here, lady.
Pyro: (giggle) Really? You made the Pyro, of all people, giggle? You look like you had too many Bonk drinks. That doesn't even make a lick of sense. Way to be unnaturally corny.
Scout: Well..um…
Pyro: Scout ever since I first saw you when you joined the team I was…worried about you. From what I've seen, she doesn't even know this man. This is just random, and it's not romantic in the least.
Scout: What worried about me?
Pyro: You are the fastest in the group but you are one of the weakest in the group that's not nice, I know for a fact he's better than you. and even though were in the same class Thanks for admitting that you suck. See? That's how you say something in Scout's point of view. I well…
Scout: You care about me don't you? Are you deaf? Did she not just say that five seconds ago when she was 'worried' about you?
She grabbed on to me and was about to cry. Talk about bipolar bear. There was nothing established, this is just random. They don't have a relationship. So far, it seems as though she's seen him around. That is not how love is formed, if that's where you're getting at. Sorry to break it to you, but love at 'first site' does not exist.
Pyro: Yes.
Scout: Hey I'll be ok if we stick together. I'd like to ask why she's even crying, I don't think it was mentioned. She just started randomly crying.
Pyro: Ok.
I closed both Pyro's and my locker and turned off the lights. They were on a bench, if I remember correctly. Just move them around all over the place, don't worry if it confuses the reader! Selfish.
Scout: Let's go home. Yeah, it's that simple.
End.
Melting the Ice Needs An Enema
Title: Melting the Ice
Author: Kassandra Black
Fandom: Fable 3
Chapter One
"Now, use the power in your legs to bring up your sword and block!"
Lara rolled her eyes as she brought up her sword like her "uncle" had suggested. Going with generic princess? Okay, fair enough, I'll let you have that. But the princess in Fable never called Walter uncle, he was just Walter. This is called giving your character spice... where it isn't needed. Try her personality next time. It was just like Walter Beck to be giving her advice in the middle of a fight. And that's a problem... why? She loved him, sure, but the man had literally no sense of timing… He was a right hand man, awesome soldier for how many years?
"Atta girl! That's it!"
"Must you always do that?" Encouragement?! How dare he?! Lara shouted over the sounds of swords clashing and weapons firing. Does anyone else remember guns in this scene... in the game... I don't. Her dog, Ares, lunged for an attacker, letting out an evil growl. It's a dog. Dogs aren't and evil and they aren't good. They're guided by instincts and their loyalty.
"Do what?" Walter called back, bending his body in a way Lara would never have thought possible to dodge an attack. ...Now that just sounds awkward. Walter's old, he's not a stretchy action figure from the 80s. Walter might be getting up there in age, but the man could still fight.
Lara threw herself in a forward somersault and pointed out her gauntleted arm at the nearest enemy, sending a shock of lightning his way. Oh, this isn't the fight scene from the beginning of the game?! Ohh. That's why there's guns! His body convulsed violently as it coursed through his body, leaving the bandit's corpse charred and smoky as it fell to the ground. They may be bandits, but they're still human... you're economy is crap, do you NOT expect people to turn into thieves? One down, two more to go. She can count?! WHOA! Lara drove her sword into the next bandit just as Walter brought down the last one, kicking the attacker's knees out and decapitating the helpless enemy. Man could still fight, indeed… That's not nice to the bandit! He probably had a family and you just killed him like he was nothing!
"Do what?" Walter repeated walking over to her.
"Make comments and give me advice in the middle of a sword fight," Seriously, Walter, Bella hates it when you're nice to her! You better not look too 'overly helpful' or she'll leave you and your friends for a vampire and never talk to you again until the third book! Lara replied, wiping her sword clean off the dead man's trousers.
"I thought you liked when I did that," Walter said, using the back of his sleeve to wipe the sweat from his brow.
"Yes, when I'm training, not in the middle of a bloody battle. I'm normally a bit busy trying, you know, not to get killed? Instead of listening to instructions?" So... if someone's sneaking up on you from behind, he stays quiet? Aren't you smart!
Walter clutched his heart feigning to be hurt. "If my lady wishes for me to cease giving her advice, I will gladly obey her command. Is that what you want, Princess Lara?" This is Walter? O.o Okay... Wrap my head around that...
"Oh, come off it," Lara retorted. "Since when have you called me 'my lady' or 'princess'? Just Lara, please." Hold up. You call him 'uncle', that means you must be close. So you still have to ask him to call you 'Lara'? Really? It annoyed her to no end when people treated her like royalty. You'd think a princess would be use to that, but I give you points for trying to give your character something to round themselves on. Snaps for you. Granted, she was a princess, a fact that she was reminded of every day of her life, but that didn't mean she had to like it. You mean to tell me that pretty much having everything you want is a bad thing?! Oh, yeah, don't like it all you want, sister! Besides, what kind of princess roams around the country with only her mentor and her dog for company, regularly getting into fights? Oh, you know, the generic one. From Fable Three. Remember? The title seemed almost pointless given her current situation. I bet you prefer Hero, huh?
Walter let out a loud chuckle.
"What I want is for you to trust me," Lara raised her voice over his thunderous laugh, slightly annoyed that he wasn't taking her seriously. Someone's not listening to me! Temper tantrum! "We've been out of the castle for two weeks. Surely, I've proven that I can handle myself in a fight." I would have figured that would take MUCH longer than two weeks. Just wait until they throw you in Reaver's Mansion. You'll miss all those stray wolves attacking you up in the mountains.
"That you have," Walter replied, this time wiping the tears WHAT of mirth Oh, okay. from the corner of his eyes. "But must you always be so serious? It wouldn't hurt for you to crack a smile every once in a while, girl. People prefer approachable royalty, after all." Oh, Charlie, just let Bella listen to her emo music! Smiling isn't in her twitchy, gray skinny jeaned vocabulary.
Lara let out a small sigh as she finally sheathed her sword and strapped her rifle to her back. She had become serious the day she started training with Walter. Starting a rebellion is serious business! Jokes and random one-liners weren't going to get her to the top. That was relevant... to what? As a woman (and the princess), she had to work twice as hard to best those training to be in the Royal Army. And I bet it wasn't difficult at all! Watch, she's just a natural. What she lacked in bulk, she made up for in speed and endurance. Her naturally small, lithe frame became an advantage when she was pitted against the taller, stronger men. It had taken her years to finally achieve her goal, and, in the end, she was the only one left standing in a room full of seasoned soldiers. Alright, I stand corrected. I like that you mentioned it took years, but you didn't mention how difficult it was. You can learn something for years, but you're not Sponge Bob. You can't just soak it all in and be able to fight, it takes sweat and pain to get there.
She had earned their respect that day, really earned it, not just because she was their princess. She had become a warrior, a fighter just like them, and that's what got you respect. Who you really were, not what your title dictated you should be. I find it hard to believe that after being defeated by the princess, they would show her respect. They're probably feeling a little embarrassed at this point and are probably pulling it off like 'they meant to do that'.
"Smiles don't kill bandits," That you should at least think twice about killing, first! That's just heartless, I don't like it. she merely said, whistling for Ares to follow her as she began making her way down the road. "Though if they did, Albion would be a much happier place." All you need is love~
Walter considered her for a moment, before silently following her lead. Avo help the man who falls in love with her, he thought wryly. Poor bastard is going to need it. Look at that, Walter makes sense!