American Lass in a Scottish Land

There is much I recall even still now that I am back in my home land.

~Frantically showering under a spray that lasted only a few seconds at a time in the frigid Scottish highland air while becoming instant bosom buddies with the girl holding up a towel to shield my shrinking form.

~...And then walking into a room surprisingly full of people in my towel. Lacking anything decent to say, I asked, "What kind of cake is there?"

~Arriving to my tutorial a minute late and walking in as they've already begun. Take off my coat and sink into my chair. Notice glances from the TA and the other boys periodically. Dismiss it as nothing. Get home to discover that what should have been covering my left nipple had somehow slipped out of place. It'd probably been visible through the faded pink cashmere sweater I wore. (That's one way to get an A)

~...my pants almost falling off while climbing aboard the "cruise" on Loch Ness.

~Snickering about penises and real life situational comedies involving various body parts for an entire 4 hour bus ride to Inverness with said bosom buddy. (And then later for hours at our hostel)

~Having to degrade myself and ask the boy that lives downstairs to open my jar of "gherkins" for me.

~Losing my scarf not once. But twice. Possibly three times. And having the same people find it for me.

~Puking my heart out in the men's bathroom my second day in Edinburgh afer the food "disagreed." (And of course, returning between bouts to listen to a lecture...before having to leave and stumble my way to the commode again)

~Nearly puking my heart out while on holiday in Barcelona after having eaten nothing and walked the entire day and settling down at the end of the day with fried squid and sangria. (shut up)

~Taking the two-and-a-half-hour and several miles walk back to my hostel late at night through Barcelona because I thought the air would do me some good and ease my stomach.  (it did)

~Having my shoe stolen by a group of drunks while I wasn't looking and having to confront the whole lot of them, stare them down, and retrieve my shoe, while trying not to disturb the other train-goers.

~Staying up all night to wash THE BEER from my favorite coat my first weekend out.

~Nearly getting drugged by a fellow in Wales as I ventured into unknown territory.

~The stores that close way too early in the middle of the day, that are somehow always closed when you are in a hurry and rushed to get there, but of course...are on their own schedule.

~The random piles of vomit on the sidewalk and the guys pissing on your stoop.


....Ah yes.  There is much about the U.K. I am going to miss.  I would go back in a heartbeat.

In the highlands. Shower, anyone?

University buildings where purported flashing took place

Cruise on Loch Ness to Urquhart Castle where said pants almost bit it

Calamari Frito y Sangria...Creme Catalan for dessert. And of course, Walbert. :)

Creepo who tried funny business with my water

I drew a travel comic of "The Water" Adventure. Viewable here. (Warning, when you hit "Full View," it will take a loooong time to load. It's a HUGE comic.

Thought I should mention that I'm home now.

SNORT.

It's been an insane whirlwind and everything I said I'd write about has been delegated to the end of my to-do list. >__<

But I don't want to forget everything that happened...

I also have a giant email list I have not yet gotten to...I apologize if you are included in this unfortunate list.

Adjusting has been an interesting process. Although I find that fewer things work than I remember.

And everything I'd picked up about being laid back and carefree...yes. Well. That has once again been replaced with the frenzy of American agitation and stress. I have wished to go back many-a-time...

I do plan to continue updating this thing to keep an account of what's happened and share some pictures. Feel free to keep watching...or not. ~_^

St. Andrews Castle...or a weird part of it I'm not sure we were supposed to be at...	The city of Inverness, about an hour(?) from Loch Ness. Really, just a gorgeous place all around, Scotland is.

>___< God, there is just not enough time in this world for everything I want to do.

Just finished my last final of the term and will be heading off tomorrow morning for Wakefield, Yorkshire (England) as well as Inverness/Loch Ness. I meant to post an exhaustive list of my travel exploits before I headed off, but time is running out quick. I still need to pack and sleep.

I think once I return home -- JUNE 12 -- I will still keep up this travel blog because there is such a backlog of things I meant to say but never was able to due to constant traveling and school.

One interesting thing about final exams...

You have to be careful when you exit the building because people wait outside with bottles of champagne to spray at friends, as well as eggs to chuck, cans of baked beans to (...throw?), and flour to toss around.

I have no freaking clue why. Scottish people are weird.

Lurvly variety of tulips at Anne Hathaway's Cottage (Shakespeare's wife).	Hm...an unexpected souvenir from Stratford. LOL!

NONE OF THE "NIGHTTIME" IMAGES ARE MINE. I want to make that clear right away. I stole them. My camera's flash died over a month ago, so I can no longer take pictures at night. That, and it's a pretty basic camera, so I don't think it was designed for fire shows.

The pillars. (And me. *cough*)	The pillars and the Celtic symbols which will soon be immolated.
On Calton Hill overlooking the city.	A circle. (??)

Beltane is a pagan ritualistic fire festival that herald's the coming of spring. The red "demons" (fire) rule the night, but by the end, the May Queen and her white (air?) "Spring" entourage bring them to heel. The blues and greens (I presume earth and water) also partake in this insane, earthy jumble.

The blue guys at the front of the procession had these long flax-like branches that they slammed on the ground in the midst of the crowd to get them to make way for the May Queen. XD

May Queen and her procession with the AWESOME BLUE GUY!!!	The Procession
The reds and their fire...	The Reds are up to no good...
The May Queen and her entourage get the reds to bow down in defeat.

The reds perform all sorts of amazing tricks like fire-eating, fire-breathing, twirling fire while almost naked. They do human pyramids and crazy, precarious pile-ups. It's all quite impressive to watch if you can beat the crowd, know where to go, and can fight your way to get a good place to see.

After seeing it, I really wanted to be one of those red girls...honestly, the idea of having my entire body painted and dancing to a wild drum while wearing next to nothing sounds TERRIBLY appealing.

Further Reading: http://www.beltane.org/

(The song has nothing to do with anything, but I was reading a really great comic where "Bridge Over Troubled Water" plays in the background and I just had to listen to it. Several versions later...I think the aged, reunited live at Central Park version is best ^^)

Went to a pagan fire festival last night...it was somethin' else. I very much appreciated the well-toned butts and torsos of painted red elementals in thongs dancing to a primal drum. My companions reflected on the attractiveness of European people.

I joked that I had painted a face on my chest and would be going topless sometime during the night.  I wish I had.  I was so envious of the "red" girls who pranced around in g-strings twirling fire batons.

Beltane Fire Festival = a win.  I will find and post pictures of some of the activities in a week.

Off to Stratford ho!

(...that's "ho!" as in "Yukon ho!", not "ho" as in "you're a big, fat, dirty ho."  Thought I should clarify.)

I will pay homage to my spirit guide Bill Shakespeare and raise a toast in honor of Ian McKellen's demi-godliness.

Just when I should be studying for finals I am in peril of failing, the creative juices have been flowing and I have been writing like a maniac and drawing for hours in my tiny, sorry-looking sketchbook.  Such is life.

Before I go, I must take the time to say that the U.K. has given me a long, abiding rash that has been driving me crazy for months.  Mayhap I will slay a small lamb as a sacrifice to appease the blood gods and to cool my frazzled, fiery nerves.  >_<

Back next Sunday!

Billy Elliot the Musical. Lyrics and Script written by the man who did the film, Lee Hall. Music by Elton John.

If you like kids, go. If you like kids with talents you yourself will never possess, go. If you like song and dance numbers, go. If you like song and dance numbers performed by burly coal miners who slip on pink tutus over their overalls, go.

Really, just a pleasure. Hailed as "the best British musical ever," it takes place in Durham county, north of England. What this means is that the accents are as close to Scottish accents as you'll find in a West End musical--Durham being close to the southern border of Scotland.

You get to hear the accent on a stage and IN SONG--oh yes, some of the lyrics are written so that they only rhyme if you sing it with the accent--just makes the whole thing feel so authentic (even when it's not).

If you've seen the movie, you know that Billy's friend Michael plays a pivotal role in bringing out Billy's latent compassion.

Shaun Malone as Michael, 11 years old, STOLE THE SHOW. I have never seen a more limp-wristed 11 year-old in my life, but it was AWESOME. Michael answers the door wearing his sister's dress and invites Billy in to play dress-up. "A boy who does ballet...no offense, but that's fokken weird, ya know?"

Michael gets Billy in a dress and lipstick. And Michael, BRILLIANTLY, (with Billy) executes a song and tap dance number in girl shoes.

"What the hell's wrong with expressin' yuself? (Oooh!)
Being who you want to be?
Will anybody die if you put on a dress?
Who the hell cares if yer blushers a mess?"

"Shake those hips, Billy! (Oh, shut up, ya puff!)"
"Your ma's wedding dress looks wicked!"
"Just like we rehearsed, love!"

As if that's not enough, the wardrobe full of dresses comes out and joins in the tap number. Just jolly good fun.

I have to say, I admire the parents who support their children in this. Michael not only cross dresses, but sashays his hips, curses like a sailor, lets his wrist hang, is a self-proclaimed flaming homosexual, and kisses/is kissed by another boy. I imagine some would have a seizure and die.

Grandma has a surprisingly touching song where she recounts her unhappy marriage to Billy's grandad. Nothing like an old woman lamenting, "In the morning, we were sober." "Seventeen, that was it, your life ended when you had a ring around your finger."

But really...the clincher is when Grandma does the finish.

"If I'd only known then what I know now
...I'd've given them all the finger!
And gone dancing...and not give a SHIT!
and spin around and reel...and love each bit
And I'd dance alone and enjoy it
And I'd be ME for an entire LIFE!
Instead of somebody's wife.
...and I never would be sober."

But there is also English politics involved. The show takes place during the miner's strike of the 80s.

The union cries, "Merry Christmas Maggie Thatcher, we all celebrate today, cos it's one day closer to your death!"

To which, the little girls sing (to the tune of Oh My Darling Clementine):
"Oh my darling, Oh my darling,
Oh my darling Heseltine
You're a tosser, you're a wanker
And you're just a Tory Swine!"

There's one or two poorly written songs (well, one poorly written one, one just has bad lyrics), but you really don't give a shit because it's too much fun. The most well-written, emotionally charged, and exciting pieces is the instant classic "Electricity."

"I cahn't really explain it,
I haven't got the words
It's a feelin' that you cahn't control
I suppohse it's like forge'in', losin' who you are
And at the same time somthin' makes you whole."

Well said, Billy.

And yet, funny enough, the moments without lyrics were some of the best. Billy's "Angry Dance"...there just aren't words. The youtube video doesn't capture it at all. Billy taps away like crazy on a set that costs TONS OF MONEY and throws stuff at coppers screaming, "FOK OFF!!" "AUUUGH!!" "FOK, FOK!!"

And at Billy's audition, a new scene with the father waiting in the lobby is ingenious. An uppity Londoner father asks Mr. Elliot where he's from. "Skdnidfoidflkdndk (Accented gobbledygoop*)" "Excuse me, what?" The other man asks. "Skdjfidnfsldkfein." "...right. Oh yes...(unsure)" -- where class distinction through one's accent is hilariously revealed.

"WILLIAM ELLIOT...IS...QUEER."
"...that's Esquire."
(Billy reading his audition results in the mail)

The play ends with Michael's last words, watching Billy walking away from Durham for better things.

"See ya, Billy."

Then they do a series of "fake" bows and the cast does a nifty tap number. Followed by the "real" bows. ^_^

I also have to say...I don't care if it's the movie or the musical...hearing Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake...I'm always moved. When the music builds in intensity and volume, I think I always feel a little misty-eyed...it was the first time I've ever heard a live orchestra play it. It was really amazing.I've compiled some Youtube videos...I believe I saw Leon Cooke on stage. But Liam Mower is the original Billy and he is on the CD. Both are quite good. (Although, I think it a bit cruel to force them to sing after having run around the stage executing a series of pirouettes.) Also, they've changed the dance. The one I saw, Billy does a bunch of crowd-pleasing backflips. He was really polished.
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_l…

Took a trip to Highgate, a quiet northern sector of London's hustle-bustle. I did not have time to visit the East Cemetery, which houses the body and tomb of Karl Marx (as well as George Eliot, and Christina Rossetti)...but I took a tour of the West Cemetery, which is accessible by tour-only, no pre-booking on weekends--first come, first serve basis, hourly.

This is the cemetery that is said to have helped inspire a horrific tale or two of Bram Stoker's.

I found it endlessly lovely. It is overgrown with vines and trees, so amidst the forest, headstones and tombs can be seen jutting from the ground haphazardly. Stone figures and mausoleums loom unexpectedly in this untamed wilderness where foxes run unhindered. I spotted holly, but no kitsune. :(

Among the tour: a seemingly nice and upstanding couple...only, they both wore all-black, had strange, placid smiles on their faces, and the man kept standing behind the woman and touching her face eerily with a silent, possessive palm. >__< I had flashbacks to the deceptively 'friendly' couple in Running Scared.

Also, a nice woman who later asked if I would be posting my pictures somewhere on the internet. I gave her the address to my travel blog.

RUTH: If you're reading this, do feel free to contact me if you would like the "complete" set of pictures I took of the West Cemetery. Good luck on your travels!

See the world through my eyes...

Waiting for the tour to begin.	Still waiting...it says, 'On one night, reft of her strength/she lay down and died at length./Softly, softly you must tread/to not disturb her narrow bed.'
Fond of their obelisks, they are.	To capture the surprising vertical imagery of the place.
	Egyptian theme arch to the vaults and moat. Obelisks frame the pillars.
Large cedar atop the mausoleum surrounded by a moat.	Out of the moat.
Mausoleum built for a twelve year old girl who died. Inside, little Ada is protected by an angel. Four other family members are buried there as well. (Julius Bear Mausoleum - ?)	Lovely, right? It makes you believe in faeries and sprites.
Unusual horse headstone.	Unusual horse headstone...but so much more eerie from the other angle :D
Thomas Sayer, legendary bare-fisted boxer. Undefeated. His final fight was at the age of 39. It lasted 2 1/3 hours, 37 rounds. It got broken up by the police and was declared a tie, so that both fighters could walk away undefeated. The dog's name is Lion.	The Sleeping Angel.
Highgate Park	Highgate Park

Walking the streets of Barcelona, I happened upon an interesting sighting: a red sign over a narrow doorway that read "Museu de l' Erótica." I did a double-take.

Then I kept walking.

There was almost an hour before I was to meet the women I had met the previous day and had had dinner with. We were to meet and head to la playa together to walk along the sand and share our day's experience.

After mindless wandering, I found myself in front of the doorway again.  And snapped a picture.  And then I went inside.

I couldn't NOT do it.  A museum of the erotic?  Are you kidding?  THAT wasn't on the tourist map!  I was going to see that museum, and lo que sea cuanto cuesta!

And I had time to kill.  Yeah.  Time to kill.  That's what I told myself.  Out of the rain.

The first thing that entered my field of vision was a gigantic wooden penis.  "Oh, okay."

There are the standard pieces from India and the Kama Sutra...as well as Africa and fertility figures.  I expected this.  No erotic collection would be complete without them.  Then there are Thai statues and Japanese bone carvings, pillow books, Ukiyo-e. 

Porcelain Chinese boxes with naughty pictures inside and full-color Chinese erotic depictions. 

There are the Greeks and scattered pieces from South America.  Victorian walking sticks with vaginas for handles.

French trysts, comics, child-like picture books with ill-concealed euphemisms....

The classic American pinup art.  Barbies.  Barbitches.  Photography.  Sadomasochism.  Fetish photography.

Male and female chastity belts, iron and leather bondage gear, a "pleasure chair" by Yves Fédou and contemporary erotic art paintings for sale.

All this makes it sound like a huge orgy, but really, it's only a single floor with maybe 8 rooms or more.  No gift shop (*sniff* I would have loved to buy some souvenirs...they only had shirts/hats with the museum logo), and nothing fancy for presentation.  But if this stuff interests you, you won't care.  Everything of interest is right there and you really don't need it wrapped up in a pretty package.

Also, go with a sense of humor.  I cracked up so many times.  The crazy things that people think is sexy amuses me.  Es la verdad.

I recommended this place to everyone in my hostel.  It was a fascinating adventure.  The fact that this museum made such an amusing impact on me means that I either am secretly mentally five years old or am secretly a lonely middle-aged man.  Ah, just as well. :)

Hardly noticeable on the busy street, the entranceway even seems secret.	From the 1950's, one of the first condom machines to appear in Spain's Barrio Chino (Chinese Neighborhood), where prostitution was often solicited.
If I remember correctly, Japanese bone carvings and pillow books. (No, you can't really see anything here) It was funny because reading the pillow book right to left, the woman always starts out completely clothed and then the layers fall off and a dude randomly shows up and they get down. *cracks up* I think it always ends with the clothes back on again, too.	Japanese Ukiyo-e. Of interest is the middle one...I flipped out when I saw it because I've seen it before. Here in Edinburgh, there is a store with a giant curtain over it...it's faded, but the image is of a giant octopus suctioning itself to a woman's vagina. I did a double-take the first time I saw it, but was never sure I saw correctly. After seeing this, I know that my eyes were not deceiving me. ~TENTACLES~!!! LOL!
Art by Eban Lehrer (I think...). Labeled "Heart." C'mon. Doesn't it make you crack up at least a little?	Art by Leban Lehrer (I think...). Labeled "Jet." It's still funny. Yes, I have the mental capacity of a ten year old.
Art by Ankobra. "Lost in a Field of Mushrooms." I just really liked the piece, even if it was phallocentric.	Classic pinup. Marilyn Monroe's nude calendar photography.
Transvestite Barbies. Er...Kens. Kenbies? (Kenobies! XD) *I am too amused for my own good*	Art by Quimet Sabaté Casanova. Top-notch painter...tho, I'm a little upset that he's nowhere to be found on the internet. His work was really vibrant and felt both real and surreal.

website:  http://www.erotica-museum.com/

My regret:  the website says that there is a phone you can pick up to explore the sensuality of the human voice.  *pouts*  I didn't see that there.  I'm sure that would have been SOOOO fun! >___<

:D

By chance, when I went to see the National Museum and Gallery of Cardiff, on display to celebrate Queen Elizabeth's 80th birthday were 10 drawings by Leonardo da Vinci. Two in particular were of interest to me: one that accurately depicted the muscles and bones in the arm and foot due to his apprenticeship to a man who dissected bodies, and "Deluge" which was drawn post cataract and stroke. His mirror writing is cool.

By the time I will be financially responsible enough to take the kids on trips, they will hardly be kids anymore, so my only hope is to bring my own minis to this museum someday. Direct benefits: it is free. It is big. It is an adventure for big kids and little kids alike (tailor-made for the Peter Pan in all of us). I will now embark with you on a journey through THE EVOLUTION OF WALES.

You walk into the room where it all began: metamorphic rock, gabbro, smooth, and textured. You think: it always begins with geology. You touch the rocks and move on to a dark, rocky room with the universe unfolding on a screen subtitled in English and Welsh.

You are led to a room about land formation and another video room with moving vistas of Wales. The voice is in Welsh, you think it must be on rotation, alternating between the two official languages. You are impressed at the successful use of digital media for an exhibit but do not know the good part is yet to come.

You are surprised that once "in" the only way "out" is back the way you came or to run through to the end. You prefer it this way. The path leads you to everything you need to see in one direction and now you need not consult your map or worry that you are missing something spectacular.

You enter prehistoric times. The displays wow you. The fossil samples of trilobites and impressions frozen in pyrite behind glass are good samples and though the full-body dinosaur skeletons are few, the entire room feels prehistoric. You've left the museum behind. A recreation of the jungle with the giant insects of the time greet your eyes and you watch them to be sure they do not move.

You turn a corner and suddenly it feels as though you've stepped into an aquarium. Recreations and fossil skeletons of plesiosaurs swim over and around you. The music puts you into the right mood.

A cave looms ahead. All is dark, you can't see a thing. Strange noises drift to your sensitive ears. You try to venture in but run back out, too jumpy to take the dive. You look around to make sure no one saw you skitter away. You try a second time, but an unexpected noise sends you running back out again. Two girls wander in and you wait. Satisfied that they didn't scream and stumble out, you forge ahead!

A giant woolly mammoth greets you with a little baby by its side. The cave and the animals within look so real. You are in awe. You get closer and suddenly, they move. You yelp and jump back, laughing at yourself as the animatronic beasts move restlessly. Stalagmites, stalactites, and hyenas lead you to the change in the biological makeup of earth, allowing you to visit the archeology section of the museum or the natural history section.

You find that the natural history exhibit takes itself very seriously and the animals inhabit huge and realistic settings that do them complete justice. Puffins sit on rocks that go all the way up to the ceiling and little fish are frozen in still water below. The largest leatherback turtle is preserved here and the remains of a humpback whale stretches across a table for the length of a room that seems submerged beneath the big blue, pictures of the species in both life and death are lit up on large posters. The soft crooning of the whale's call gathers around you.

Your entire stay at the museum, you are so thankful that human life has been able to create such beautiful things and bring them to you. You also realize you are a sucker for kids and animals.

You sit down for a slice of strawberry creme pie at the museum cafe to rest your tired legs and the server asks you out for coffee once his/her shift is over. You say yes and spend the next few hours at the bay, enjoying the weather and the peaceful calm the water gives you.

You think: there is not enough time to explore Cardiff but will not leave with regrets.

Millennium Stadium	Eerily like Edinburgh.
They love their dragon.	There is quite the story that goes with this picture...but that belongs in another entry.
Plantagenet Street near my hostel. So great a name, it inspired me to write an epic poem last semester. I couldn't NOT take this picture. Plantagenet. Plantagenet. Plantagenet Kings.	Bute Park behind the castle. I try to be artistic sometimes.
Bute Park cont. These trees floored me.	Bute Park...walking and saw this. WTF. Welsh people are weird. It's either a warthog or a troll.
Cardiff Bay.	EVERYTHING is in English and Welsh. It's confusing because if you are a skimmer, you'll disorient yourself when suddenly you can't understand a single word you're trying to skim.

Cardiff, Wales
Monday May 26th - Wednesday May 28th
Cardiff Castle
National Museum
Turkish restaurant on the Bay (recommended by flatmate)
Museum of Welsh Life (and St. Fagan's castle) ?

Barcelona, Spain
Thursday May 29th - Wednesday April 4th

London, England
Thursday April 12th - Tuesday April 17th
Equus* - Daniel Radcliffe
Billy Elliot the Musical*
a day trip out to Stonehenge?  I might not make it.  Need to check coach schedules.
Harrod's

Stratford-Upon-Avon, England
Tuesday May 1st - Sunday May 6th
King Lear* - Sir Ian McKellen!
Midnight Vigil* - (sit in a dark room in a haunted building at night with a medium and try to read signs from spirits)
Shakespeare's Houses
Falstaff Experience

Exam Times: 
Scottish Literature April 23rd
South Asian Studies May 18
Archaeology of Scotland May 17

I had to cut Rome out...being that I would be traveling alone and not speaking Italian and it was going to strain my budget (haha, what budget?), I decided not to book it yet.  I might try again for the end of April or the end of May after exams...but then again, it might be a trip to make years down the line with a friend.

The above trips I'm banking on making alone...there is a chance I'll be meeting up with one or two folks in Barcelona, but experience has taught me that it's best to plan it out as though I were alone and see if our adventures cross paths or if we decide to sync up.

Transportation for all trips and respective hostels have been booked.
*'s indicate that reservations have already been confirmed.

You can help me add to this list of things to do...I am still in the process of researching things to do/see.  I will edit this post as I go.