"And so my crazy dream continues..."

As you all know, I don't really do convention reports anymore, but I do occasionally perform friends cuts!

Yes, I'm going to do a friend cut soon. I hope you survive! mua ha ha ha ha!

ANONYMOUS MEME:
Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

Post anonymously. Speak honestly. Post as many times as you like. IP logging is off.

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So yes, I'll be on hiatus for a while. I'll respond normally to my fellow Agents because we have skits and shows to plan, but other than that... I just need to think and figure a few things out.

I love you all. And I'm sorry, Steph. You've taken the brunt of my mood swings lately, and that isn't fair. Have a goodnight, everyone.

EDIT: You know what? FUCK THAT SHIT! I have not yet begun to fight! I refuse to run away on the pretext of "sorting things out." This is a warning to everyone: If you think I was clingy and hard to get rid of before, you ain't seen nothing yet. This is the real, authentic Robbie, and I'll not fade into the darkness. I'll spread my wings and fly instead! ^_^

Recently, a friend posted an entry that I deeply resent:

"Look. You're an arrogant bastard. You get all uptight about cosplay of all things. You do realize that you go off on stupid, ridiculous rants about the way that people sew costumes of cartoon characters? People who are just there to have a good time? Maybe it's just me, being on the outside, but honestly I don't see how this can possibly be a big deal. And you know, it's not your seriousness, it's your goddamn arrogance and your blatant dismissal of costumes you didn't make. You not only dismiss their costume ability, you seem to dismiss the person. I can't respect that at all. You're still fun to talk to about DnD, but try to find a little humility, will you?"

It begins in a way that I can quite easily agree with. I am an arrogant bastard. I occasionally get uptight about cosplay. And I do rant about poor craftsmanship.

However, the parts that are insulting are: "it's your goddamn arrogance and your blatant dismissal of costumes you didn't make", "you seem to dismiss the person", and "try to find a little humility, will you?"

First of all, when did I ever claim to be a great, or even good, cosplayer? I don't think I'm very good. Better than a lot of cosplayers, sure. But not particularly good overall. My actual quotes are, "The only thing that separates the good cosplayers from the bad cosplayers is time and dedication" and "Sewing is nothing but the same few basic techniques repeated over and over again in different variations." After all, a stitch is a stitch. there really aren't that many ways to put a loop of thread in a piece of fabric. There are no special techniques, no tricks, nothing. Every stitch is, basically, the same. The only possible variation is where the thread pierces the fabric relative to the rest of the stitch.

In other words, I neither use my costumes as the standard by which all costumes must be judged (and if I did, I'd be so depressed that I probably wouldn't cosplay. My costumes really do tend to be sucktastic sometimes. Skullkid was a disaster, specifically).

Next, I have been a competitive cosplayer since my third convention. Every costume I have ever entered has gotten something and I've gotten something in every cosplay I've ever been in, except for the first one. Excuse me for using all of that competitive experience to make opinions on others' costumes. That should probably be reserved for people who judge cosplay contests. Oh. Wait. I DO judge cosplay contests. I AM specifically qualified to make the calls that I make.

If people want to wear retarded looking clothes for fun. Let them. Hell, I do it, too. I get anal and annoyed, however, when some slut puts on a fur bikini and calls herself Kirara. I get pissed when someone buys a slew of crap from hot topic and calls themselves a Naruto cosplayer or a State Alchemist. There are people who have crappy jobs who save for a year or even longer just to go to one convention. People who scrap and save and work every available waking hour on a costume. People who pour time and dedication and above all else, LOVE, into a garment. People who cry, sweat, and bleed for their art. People who give everything they have to pay as much tribute as they can to a character that may have changed their lives.

To call those kids who like to spend their parents money on overpriced trifles and trinkets cosplayers, and therefore place them in the same category as those people who shed blood, sweat, and tears for their costumes... It's not right. It's so deeply offending that it should make us all angry. Would you group checkers players who make up their own rediculous rules in with dedicated Chess players who are trying desparately to live up to their idols? Would you group Bloods and Crips in with US Marines because they both use guns to kill people? Would you lot Jim, the cook at Denny's, in with Emeril Legasse or Wolfgang Puck? My comparison may be flamboyant, sure. But the sentiment is the same.

Now, for my arrogance and lack of humility... Andria, Chris, RJ, Meghan... those who know me best... You know that I act like an arrogant asshole fairly often. But you have seen and heard me struggle with feelings of uselessness, depression, and loneliness. You should all know that if I'm not arrogant and overconfident that I have trouble functioning. I like to think that those of you who love me can see beyond my apparent arrogance. I ask you: Do you also believe that I lack humility?

Is this person the kind of person I want as a friend? I'm starting to have my doubts.

Comments screened.

EDIT: Kathy is allowed to make a smartass, sarcastic comment, for she is special like that. No one else, though! XÞ

Alright, I just finished gorging myself on turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, potatoes, gravy, pie, other miscellaneous foodstuffs. And... oh god I regret eating those two slices of pie after dinner. I mean... owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

Buy anywah, I wanted everyone to know that I'm enjoying my thanksgiving, even if I have to spend it with my annoying cousins, lol.

Love you all and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! ^_^

(2 Points) My name:
(1 Point) My last name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(3 Points) Who am I in love with:
(2 Points) Where did we meet:
(2 Points) What kind of car do I drive:
(2 Points) where do I work:
(3 Points) what am I afraid of:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink:
(2 Points) Do I have any siblings:
(2 Points) How many:
(1 Point) Do I like 'em:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(2 Points) How many piercings do I have:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
(2 Points) what’s my favorite color:
(3 Points) name something I hate:
(4 Points) name a talent I have:
(4 Points) what kind of sneakers do I wear:
(4 Points) do I have any pets:
(2 Points) Who am I dating right now:
(5 Points) how long have I been dating them:
(5 Points) what is the color of my room:
(5 Points) what is my worst habit:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:

So... who exactly is going to Anime USA?

OMG PSU is so awesome. I managed to rig my PS2 through my wireless connection on my laptop, so I can even play online in my room. The offline game keeps throwing random parodies at me, too. Everything from Kung Fu, to Money Train, to The Matrix. IT's so corny, but it works! lol

Anywho, if anyone else here plays the PS2/PC version, look for a FOnewearl named Elly. ^_^

There are a few people who are causing problems on a certain personal level. I look back on these relationships and they are either much more painful than joyous, or I can't see them continuing. let alone getting better. There are certain people that, when I think about them, only evoke feelings of depression and anger. I'm not going to name names, but I feel as though I need to do something about it. My first step is cutting them from my friends list. Yeah, it sounds silly, but I think it works as a symbolic gesture of sorts.

Unfortunately, as is the way of mutual friendships and groups of people who are close to each other. I can't just removing the single offending prties from my life, I have to leave entire swaths of people. It pains me, as my entire view of life is purely friend-centric, but I no longer feel as though I have a chance.

If the people in question want to talk to me seriously, they have my phone number.

Once someone has become my friend, though, I can't bring myself to completely abandon them. It simply isn't the way I do things. So, if you know me and if I ever called you friend and you truly have dire need of me, I'll still be here. Remember that.

So... would anyone like to have a female silver tabby cat?

Due to circumstances I won't bore you all with, my cat, Deanna, will no longer have a home in fewer than two weeks. Basically the end of the month. So, I need to find someone that will take her before that time, otherwise she goes to whichever group handles cat adoptions.

She's a 3 year old Silver Tabby cat, female. Well tempered, lethargic, great with kids. Very laid back cat. Unfortunately, if you want a cat to actively play with, this is not the cat for you ^^;;.

She spent part of her life as strictly outdoor, part as both, and the last year as an indoor cat, so she's perfectly capable of handling any of these roles. She is also used to living with other animals, including a dog.

She is spayed and has all of her shots. She is not declawed and I request that she stay that way. Declawing is cruel.

And since my main focus is to find her a home and keep her alive, she is, of course, completely free. Anyone in the MD, VA, DE, NJ, PA area is welcome to comment and/or offer to take her. This offer is up for one week only, after that, I have to make alternate arrangements for her for this is a concrete deadline.

I hate to lose my cat (again), but I've simply no choice in this matter.

Thanks in advance ^_^