SAYS WHO? SAYS SU

One willing to grow with me...

Okay God, today me and you back on IT.

Forgive me of my transgressions and I forgive my transgressor (you know I really need to look that word up for the formal definition as I only use it with you) .

Anyhoo we're back in dual-mode God, I hit you up for direction and you be my compass.
When distractions come, you provide outlets and gentle reminders of: "NO. Wrong way.
Turn back. Change course."
Lets rock out it today God, and execute today's tasks with heavenly ease.
REMEMBER:
Its ME and YOU Only:
Now come on G... give me your pinky!

Depends on WHERE, and I have done it... in Central America and Asia where internet sites are blocked and my roaming charges were bananas.
Its great to "unplugged" ourselves sometimes.
I could easily seem myself spending winning $1000.00 for a week to Bali, Indonesia, islands of Malaysia somewhere.... and just writing the old fashion way in a journal.
Can I bring my old tape player? Lol

I doubt

Jimi Hendrix was talkin about a drink like I am, but last night I met and had my fair share. 1.5 glasses and I'm done. (It was more like 1 3/4ths, but who's really counting lol) I was at my renewed fav old spot, Pink Teacup, where I totally blew off my already dwindling detox I started Nov 3 (just healthy made smoothies, and greens/vegs for lunch) Slowly but surely the smoothies and h20, hot herbal tea consumption became less replaced by hot coffee, iced coffee, even icecream, UGHH!(a big NO-NO on a detox) and more solid food (bread) seeped back into the mix. Well last night you couldn't get more solid than: smothered chicken, black eye peas, collards and the cheesiest mac n cheese with golden crust on top. C'mon son! And I got mad at the Purple Haze? LOL. Damage done. Anyways, I'm grateful for the no-hang-over-feel. Although I've been slumming around in bed since 6:40a, felt like body still needed rest, but as mind was up, I listened to a great sermon on: Hearing a CLEAR word from God, and curing yourself from spiritual deathness. I've been in deaf mode for some months now. So I totally need to be able to "hear again" at

ALL times

. Esp since I'm not going to India, "yet" --- me and God have to settle the frequency in which our communicado will continuously operate "on". I know that its more than like "ME", that's going to have to BE WILLING to stretch n continually GROW. It will also be "ME" who will need to Go Higher to even meet God on His frequency, and to do this I must of course, clear out any distractions first. God please tell me what page in the manual will help me clear channels, I do not wish to be caught up and lost in Purple Haze because I can't hear you :(

So lm not going to India (YET) - I'll get into that in a minute as lately I have been just agigtated, moreso w/ God. Me and God got beef, and I know its just my beef, where Ive been waiting to hear from him and nothing. there has never been more clear of time where i wanted to hear from him and nothing.

Actually I take that back, when I was stranded on a plane headed to Central America all by my lonesome, I needed him, he responded quick, guided me all thru that trip. When my car was stolen and heart was supa heavy I totally leaned on him, and comfort filled my heart. Now having done Asia already I wanted to know if to return to the other side - and nothing.

No response, no confirmation, no peace. The trip is $4k and no funds to pitch in came in, and I didnt have peace about swinging it all out of my pocket (in loans) everyone says go, but that would be me going for everyone else and no joy in going for me. doesnt seem cool. So me sit put. Hardest thing to do is just sit put, and I guess that has me mad at God.

Okay, I finally went and saw Avatar last night - I didn't want too, but ratings had me driven, not one person had one bad thing to say: so I guess I'll be the first.

"We've seen it before."
"We've lived it before."
"We're living it now."

Now dont get me wrong LJ, the movie was beautifully done, story executed with hollywood box office stamped approved, it was formatted for success, with 3D eye candy clause to sweeten the deal AND justify the reason why you're paying $20 to see this flick.

I enjoyed it because I was entertained.
However, I also hated because it display the absolute (and I use that word knowingly) of one group/species/mindset of people who - by nature - seek and destroy, but never CARE to understand  and learn from (you).

Ignorance at its best.
As insolence knows no innocence, only methods to destroy that which is pure and true.

The special effects, will be unseen by many, as it was not on screen, but off screen, as it would really depend on what "affect" the flick had on those same insolent ones, who has this same mindset depicted in the movies, the nature of must possess or destroy that which is NOT even theirs to begin with.

Irony.

...that's all that i seem to here in my head, as everything is a constant reminder of time...

tick...gotta get up early and pack
tick...gotta find important papers for GA
tick...gotta find my black skirt for church
tick...still gotta print out my confirmation tix
tick...gotta call to schedule shuttle bus to airport
tick...gotta write lola an email for details about projects at work
tick...gotta speak to my homie lover friend about look
tick...gotta get my a vegetable grill sandwich for plane
tick...gotta charge ipod, get bottle water, charge celly

TICK... look at the time, I gotta be outta here to catch my plane.

Lata LJ!

Yeah... wanted to do a book club.
Who knew it would be so involved, as I wanted to set off the whole kitten kaboodle.
But lock in domain.
Got the site up.
And started putting the word out.

Have 2 recruits respond via web.
Cool.... wanna keep it in Bk...

Yeah!

that's what I'm eating today.
Having one of those frozen dinners for lunch, and the lil brownie dessert got all mixed in with the chicken.
Heck I'm starving.
I'm eating.
What a week I have had... and that was only Tuesday.
All the twist of events that happen it such a short space of time... have left me with a weird
euphoric feeling.
The Aaaaah....
Now like the "Aaaah I can breathe now..."
But like the "Aaaaah, I didn't snap. And kill anybody."
I was so close. I could feel it.
The snapping point.

Having a car with outstate plates in NYS will do that to you.
Maybe (ALMOST) sympathize with that father and son sniper team.
Well back to my Chocolate Chicken.

It's official, I'm calling out today.
I have not had a day to myself and my thoughts in a minute.

I feel like that Jill Scott song she did for UK CD where the hook went:

"I don't wanna go to work today"
"I'd rather stay home and play video games...."
"I'd rather chill for real, I don't know how you feel... but sometimes I feel..."
"Like I'm working for nothing, trying to get something.."
"Everytime i turn around is a bill... staring me down..."


I have been up since 4:47am with nagging thoughts and unsettling feelings, and then it dawned on me.
I WANNA BE HOME TODAY!
(Heck I might even play a video game or two)

Later LJ