My Journey

Come on...clickie the button.... you know you want to.... *WEG!*

Mac came in, and to my surprise, stayed...why? A double-shift, and he knew I would get him up no matter what. I'd forgotten about him signing up for one.

I guess I threw quite a bombshell when I told him I was taking a LOA from the FA and being online during his vacation. He thought he'd done something to prompt me to do this. I told him, partially yes...convenient timing...his vacation and my LOA. I basically told him how I felt about things...from soup to nuts as far as the FA/Master/Padawan, writing or not writing lectures goes and so forth. I think he thinks I"m ready to quit the FA. Right now, I don't see that, but that's not to say it isn't possible.

Everyone laughs and says...'oooooh, you'll be back...' or 'oooooh...you're not gonna quit....'

Here's the thing: If I decide I am done with something, and I"ve had my fill of it...I am done. It goes back to the old: "Watch me...tell me I can't, I will' thing I used to have...before my NDE.

Well, more on this when I get back from the Dr. appointment. Cab is due any time.

Take the quiz: "What Is Your Kink?"

Submission
You live to serve! You're most excited when someone else takes the reins and controls the situation. You're happy to do whatever will make your partner happy, even if it isn't your favorite thing to do. In the bedroom, you aim to please. Your motto is, Yes Sir/Ma'am!


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This is not a surprise to me.

It's been a day of phone calls...

Between J. calling long-distance (anywhere/anytime thanks to Verizon) and chatting my ear off for what seems like an eternity...I still haven't figured out why she's sooo worried about what is going on up here. I think she's just bored being down there, even though she's visiting her dad.... *shrugs* ...and FINALLY hearing from Pixy-sis, I didn't get Mac's mom called today, nor did I get Ari called. But I thought I no longer had Mac's mom's number, and it was too late to call when I did find it. It being Sunday, I wasn't sure if YDC even allowed phone calls on Sunday... So...I will call Ari tomorrow and let Mac know I found the number too late...

Update on Pixy-sis.... She is moved, and everyone loves the new house. She isn't online yet, but hope to have phone and internet service as soon as possible. She called on the old apartment phone that was still active while taking a break cleaning the apartment.

Well, Mac just stopped in, so I will close....

Ok...KFC--or at least their BBQ chicken--doesn't agree with me. So eating there will probably be a 'no' in the future. Also went to the Mall and headed for Walden's Bookstore. I had:

1. Shatterpoint
2. The Tao of Pooh
3.  The Celestine Prophecy

in my fingers, in the hopes that Mac would let me get at least one book, as I am no longer over-drawn, but still broke. Well,  it was no go...so, I had to put all three back; but I have informed Mac that I am getting at least one of them after the first of the month.  He didn't say much; I think he was upset he couldn't get me the books today. I explained that two were for the LS LJ Community and the other was for Jedi reading, and explained what people were saying about 'Shatterpoint' and how it affects what one believes about being a Jedi....  He just nodded quietly.

There wasn't much to do after that....so we headed home...which was a good thing; my stomach still isn't feeling the best, so I am taking it easy....food is not a real necessity at present.

Mac went to his place to work out and practice his Kata for his martial arts class tonight....  I guess next week he tests for his orange belt.  *crosses fingers*.  From what he said, he was gonna go lay down for a while until time for his class tonight.  The way I'm feeling, I might go to bed early myself tonight.....

I have things to do tomorrow, depending on how I am feeling.

Other than that...I"m hanging out online....

I hope others are having a better day than my stomach seems to be....

MTFBWYA

Live Journal Entry
12:00 noon
06-25-04

I am writing this entry on word pad, and saving it until I can post it on LiveJournal.
Apparently, the site is down, or I have been locked out. I can get the main log-in
page, but not anything else.

Got woke up by the rain, and the neighbors stomping across the ceiling; and the shower running constantly... Our goal was to sleep in late...but that didn't happen. Mac slept in until the alarm went off, but I think he was near-awake before that...

Two cups of coffee got me up and going; as Mac decided to flip, flip, flip channels on the t.v.--blaring waay too loud for me, I decided to get myself motivated to get dressed.

We had plans to go out today and picnic...but since it has rained this morning, everything is wet...so there goes our picnic. As far as anything else goes...it's up in the air. Probably just another day at home....as usual.

It has finally registered with me...something Zen Buddists have said for centuries: If you do not desire something, then there is no want and therefore no expectation.... I know I am probably not wording it right...but, it finally registers.... If I don't desire to get out of the house, then I don't want to get out of the house and I don't expect to get out of the house.... So, my focus will be from now on to stay within the confining walls of Ohio Village. This is my prison and I am finally ready to accept it. Going out in the world, is for other people. It is not for me, apparently. If I am invited to go 'out", that's fine... But, to ask to go out...or be taken somewhere...no. Even when plans are made, circumstances do not allow the plans to be fulfilled. So, there it is....

Right now, I am at the computer typing this.... Mac is watching a cop movie on t.v.; he's in the frame of mind to just vegetate--especially since work is sooo stressful, and getting worse. I have things I could do around the house to keep busy, so I am occupied if I need to be.

I guess that's it for the time being... I may make more entry as the day progresses...depending on what goes on, and how bored I get.

I hope someone is having a more lively day than I am..... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Whew! Never realized how nasty dirty a box fan could get....but it ain't dirty no more! In fact, it looks almost brand new....it's amazing what 409 and 'Scrubbing Bubbles' can do with a little elbow grease and a shower. Just wish I had a shower hose instead of having to rely on the pressure of the shower head. Now, the trick is gonna be to find out if it still works...I was very easy around the switch wiring--not to pull on it or get it wet. I even cleaned the plastic step-stool that also was in desperate need of cleaning...again, it's 'scrubbing bubbles' to the rescue.

So the house is lookin' spiffy...and I like that. I just happened to wake up in a 'cleaning mood'.... All I need do now is clean the bathroom. But that can wait...first of all it's not that bad in the first place, and second, my legs and back are very angry at me for doing all this work.

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J. called again about her apartment. I explained to her that * I * couldn't check her door and neither could Mac; but offered to call Management and have someone check her door for her....if it is secure, they don't need to call me...if something is amiss...they can let me know and I can call her and let her know.

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I think LiveJournal hates me....Lately, it has been sluggish to load, and half the time I get 'page cannot be displayed'. 'Refreshing it, only gets me the same message....And when I have tinkered with changing my colors, text and so forth...it takes forever and amen to load or accept the changes I have made...I probably make too many at once or whatever...but, it's been a pain in the neck. I don't want to wipe out my entire journal...I just want to change the color scheme...

Anywho....it is a good day over all....

Woke up about 10:30a.m. ,  grabbed some coffee, and found i had to wait for the shower. Apparently, the neighbors felt they had exclusive rights to the hot water.  So I got the bed made up,  and laid my clothes out.  Finally i was able to get a shower.  Once I got dressed,  I grabbed something for brunch,  and after that,  I got to work.

1.  Bed is made.

2. Sweeper is run.

3. front hall, kitchen, and dining room is mopped.

Left to do? 

1. Tear down and clean a box fan.

2. Clean bathroom.

3. Get clean clothes hung up,  and dirty ones in an empty basket.

While I was working,  I guess  J.  Called.  I didn't even hear the phone....probably because of the sweeper....  Anyway,  she's been calling long-distance ever since she left last friday... She's supposed to be visiting her dad,  but she seems more worried about what is going on up here....  First her apartment door.... now,  she's calling about window widths  and having her step-mom make or get something for her window at the apartment......  *sigh*   I always thought when you went on vacation,  you were on vacation....  *shrugs*    I gave her the window width I have, but that wasn't good enough..... I have to ask Mac to measure my window again to be sure....      The way he came in stressed out last night---he's shaking again---I didn't dare ask him anything....    I just let him vent.... after which we talked a bit and then,  in keeping with the rules of the complex,  he left to go home....     I got back online until I got tired enough to go to bed.

It's been very quiet....both online and off.    T.v. is on for noise mainly....    I'm taking a break from housework.  The sweeper should be classified as a workout regimen....I know for me,  it is awkward and tiring......Add in bad balence and coordination, and you have a personal workout.....but it gets done.   The box fan I have to break down,  should be easy to clean.....actually,  all I have to do.  is take of the front and back grills,  and clean the blades.... let everything dry and put it back together....

Well, I guess that's all for now...  Maybe more later...

I finally think I have this thing nearly transformed the way I want it. However, I am trying to figure out how I lost the 'rich text' thingy at the bottem of this screen, I get the 'Sorry, your browser does not currently support the 'rich text' enviroment' message... but ok...maybe it's a good thing...no double-spacing problems... I have...maybe a few more things to adjust on here, and then I am completely good to go. So...what have I done today besides be online and tinker with this journal? Went outside and read for a while. Had a decent conversation with a neighbor who surprised me by moving out. According to her, her one daughter is much like Ari in behavior; she's older and has the foul mouth and sign-language to go with it. Supposively, she's on meds for whatever her problem is. I guess Management has had umpteen complaints about the girls running the complex unsupervised while mom worked, and since there was an incident of damage, and so forth...they were 'asked' to leave. I didn't know the one girl was like Ari...I thought she was acting rough by choice...her mom is pretty rough and outspoken, herself... According to Mom, they have a house, so they don't have to deal with Ohio Village rules (ones they feel are unfair) and that Management is looking to get low income people (such as yours truely) out so they can get the 'big money' folks in for the high market value rent. I don't know if that was a parting shot or sour grapes or what...but J. and I said the very same thing when all the renovations started, but then we found out that O.V. would stay subsidized... No way could I afford even a one bedroom Market Value right now... So, if O.V. ever lost their subsidy...people like me are instantly homeless. Anyway, after that, I headed back in, got me some supper and got back online.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Have not talked to too many online today...even though people have been on. Life is busy these days...so even online, it's about getting 'business' done, not socializing... Well...I'm all out... It's a quiet night....

I've decided to return to my original set-up as far as color scheme and features go for the time being. Changes will be made soon...but for now, it is important that the Disclaimer be visible, because this is a public journal.

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Anyway... I had grilled cheese and dill pickles and soda, for lunch.

Have to tackle running the sweeper in a while. Whoever is moving out has got the front area pretty much blocked off, so going outside will have to wait until later. No biggie.

Have a good day, dear Readers....