i talk about transitioning and all anyone ever says is "I hope you don't regret it" what if instead we said I hope you love it. I hope it's everything you ever wanted. I hope you live the rest of your life in utter bliss. etc etc.
I hope you transition and I hope it's the best thing you ever did and I hope you never look back and I hope you finally feel comfortable in your own skin
hey man I'm the torturer [shaking your hand and detecting apprehension] that just means it's my job to torture people [visibly uncomfortable] there are lots of people like me
the men are not bringing what the women are bringing to pop music at our present moment, so i will right this by growing a boy band’s worth of fresh-faced young men of ambiguous age in an underground laboratory, using primarily mushroom material made to look human. they will have a rudimentary mycelial network so that their choreography is at all points entirely aligned with the other members of the band, due to their communication as organisms. of course i will design them to be heartbreakingly beautiful, and they will be loved by all in the way only something without complete humanity can be. i will train them rigorously to be safely attractive vessels for the first stretches of teen girl sexuality, in the tradition of their boy band predecessors. they will be my greatest work of art, and my downfall. people will find out about their origins (maybe one of them has a limb fall off during an snl performance) and i will be questioned — so this is like that gravity falls episode? yes. shouldn’t you pay alex hirsch royalties? only if your perception of time is that it progresses in a linear fashion. also i don’t want to. he has disney money. i have boy band manager money but a lot of that goes toward their upkeep as science experiments. is this ai? they are organic and do not have “intelligence” since they are fungal creations, don’t be a fool. are you fulfilling your desire to be a mother through them? no. are you fulfilling your desire to be a man through them? what? — and judged. discourse will be split on whether this counts as child abuse given the chronological ages of my boy band. i will argue that this is more ethical than human boy bands, because they’re not actually—and then stop, wide-eyed. the interviewer will encourage me to continue, they’re not actually what? they’re not actually people? but i will refuse. the scientist i hired to help me create them (i’m good at aesthetics and behavior, not how mushrooms work) will eventually quit and close down the lab as a result of her increased concerns over ethicality. on the day the lab closes, facing down press and the blank expressions of my own creations (knowing they will not be able to sustain a career without my guidance) i will enter the building in a recreation of the flame dress bob mackie initially designed for tina turner and set it ablaze from the inside. one host of a popular podcast will say in response, “should women have jobs or will their hormones just get in the way? let’s reevaluate.” another will say, “i sympathize because she obviously had undiagnosed bpd,” to which her cohost will reply “i get more histrionic from her to be honest.” that year’s grammy for best album will be won by gracie abrams.
I dont want somebody in my house ever again... any future romantic interest can meet me at Exxon and check in with the rewards app
At night I crawl into bed and the position I start in is the one I must stay in. I cannot move an inch to the left or an inch to the right
Opened the windows so they could smell and hear the storm rolling in but now it’s humid as fuck in here
