Rambling Along

I wish Dad could have had another year. I really wanted him to see me get my degree. But it's been a very long journey and the finish line lies ahead.

Dad's walking the nature trails of the great unknown, now. I've had some crying, but overall, I'm dealing with it much better than I expected. I think a large part of it is I know his practical nature would not be flattered by moping instead of getting on with things.



Mom's coping, too. There's a lot of great family support. Her brother and sisters are looking in or asking her out, and their kids, too, and my brother has been a major help through all of this. He dusted the master bedroom to make it nicer for her, and put aside some things for her to figure out whether she wanted them out or not. Presumably dad-stuff. And in his own way, *that* was a loving tribute to Dad, because one thing that would really make him angry was when he thought we were not being active and intelligent about finding ways to help around the house so Mom didn't have to do it or even ask.

I guess a good parent makes us a better person, even when they aren't there.

He's still himself. That is, when he isn't too tired, he can follow conversations, laugh at the things you would expect, and talk some. His personality is unchanged-- he's become kind of clingy, but that's a normal enough reaction to having a short time to live and severely impaired physical function. When he gets tired, the right words don't come and he kind of says odd things while we try to guess what he wants to say and he shakes his head or nods to tell us if we're right. He wants lots of hand holding and kisses, which is great, because we want to express our love, too.

A side effect of my father's chemotherapy has been blood clotting. And there are little blood clots all over his brain. He's in hospice care now. It's just a matter of time. We're going to see him day after tomorrow. Or rather, tomorrow, as it is now past midnight.

I thought since most of you reading this have known me a long time, you'd want to know.

We actually heard Avalon yesterday. We thought it was one of the neighbor cats, but one is intensely loud and tends to yowl and scratch when she wants us. The other has such a soft trilly meer it is a bit hard to hear. This one was exactly the pitch and duration typical for Avalon, but well, she's dead, and we heard it with our ears, not just gotten an impression. So I went to the door. No kitty around. Nor did one come-- and the neighbor cars race upstairs when there's a chance of love of catnip.

Well, maybe Wacko was here and then heard her family come home. Maybe. Or maybe the cat was at another neighbor's door and suckered them into letting her in. But Avalon was a forever cat.

The new chemo seems like it won't hit him too hard. He felt like going to the family Easter gathering today, and that's more active than he's been in a while.
Midterms-- I may have done very well. I won't really know until I get the results.

I don't really use this anymore except to communicate with established friends, and I get tired of weirdos and random spam.

Dad had a rough time after surgery, he had a bad reaction to a medicine and then a bout of stomach flu. But he was doing somewhat better than I expected. He's rather week, and I hope the next cycle of treatments goes well for him. He wants to go on the chemo ASAP, though. He's still got a lot of spirit and wants to conquer this cancer and put it behind him.

I've got scary midterms coming up.

That is all.

"The operation was successful, but the patient died"? Well, that isn't what happened. The surgeon's opened Dad up to take out the remnants of his tumor, discovered a second tumor, and sewed him back up. Without removing the first thing. So... the patient is alive, but the operation was unsuccessful.
um... there's going to be more chemotherapy. I'm not really sure what to expect at this point. We're all pretty distressed.

The Bridge, by Allan Krummenacker, is a paranormal thriller with a science fiction element. It is the first of his Para Earth novels, which deal both with psychic powers and connections between parallel Earths. Unlike most parallel Earth stories, his are based on divergence way back in time... the life forms on them are very alien.

There are e-reader versions, including Kindle from Amazon and Nook from Barnes and Noble, and trade paperback versions available, too.


Allan is also willing to send out signed copies.

Anyhow, I'm really proud of him.

I'm healthy! Or at least, definitely not diabetic. Apparently my body chemistry is just creating unusually sweet smells. Whatevs, body, don't scare me like that.