It’s great delight to write to you today being a special day, I didn’t plan to do this until I felt led two days ago. Today makes it my twenty-something years on mother Earth… You want to know my age? Kindly read on.
I’ll be sharing *fifteen* lessons life has taught me as I have journeyed through it.
✨Never underestimate the power of networking. If you desire to go far in life, try as much as possible to build your network. It’d help you in no small way, there’s a saying “your network is your networth”: there are actually no truer words than the statement I quoted. Even as parents, know that the network you build today will most likely have effect on your children. Build a strong network, that is what will keep you at the top. You can achieve this by attending conferences and seminars, and rub minds with fellow attendees, exchange contact and keep in touch. Someone once said “to thrive in Lagos, have a police officer, a lawyer, a pastor, an ‘agbero’ i.e area boy as friends.” By doing this, you will have those who can come to your rescue when the need arises, mind you, you don’t only reach out when you need their help, try to keep in touch with them and ‘tip’ them where necessary. Yes, it is not bribery, it is a well-done for what you will do for me.
✨People will come and go. Of course, you don’t expect twenty friends to play together for twenty years. As humans, that is the way we are created to be, we move on in life and to better places. You don’t expect me to remain in a place when there is a better offer waiting for me else where or when I have fulfilled my purpose for coming there in the first place. So, quit being angry when your closest friend is relocating/doing well and pray them well.
✨Your life’s a book. Whether you take it or not, your life is an open book before people’s eyes and they are reading you daily. As a person, you are indirectly affecting those around you, so you have got to be intentionally about your life 8f you have not been before. I have received countless messages in my DM of how someone was affected because of something I did, not something bad though. You might not receive such reports, but be mindful. Time will tell!
✨ Communicate your feelings. This is something that if not done will affect you one way or another. When you keep bottling your feelings, you will have to explode one day. I remember in my early years in life, I was so good and holding everything to myself and once I had anything against you, I will hate you to the core. I lie not, I might not talk to you again just because I couldn’t communicate well. Thanks to God and counsels, I have outgrown it a long time ago.
✨Be there when you can. You can only do something when you have the power to and if not, you just let go. Again, no one is omnipresence except God. Show up, stand by and help others when you can; if you cannot at any moment, do not beat yourself up about it. As far as there isn’t any hard feeling, just take it a step at a time. Don’t try to please everyone, because you cannot in the first place, you will end up hurting yourself. You will be just fine!
✨ Appreciate your cycle in public, not just in private. Don’t beat me just yet, come with me. I have seen people who only appreciate their friends in private but will not say a word for them out there. How do we reconcile this? Is this what we call friendship? Where did we miss it? Friends are to have each others ‘ back at any day, anytime and anywhere. So, quit being a friend by mouth and show it. Your friend is about to launch a brand, you don’t have to necessarily fund it, noise it. They need be to announced, then do it wholeheartedly, after all, that’s what friends are for. I value my friends and what they do. Shout out to you guys, you’re the real MVPs. This will lead to the next important lesson.
✨Be mindful of those you call friends. Not all that glitters is gold and yes, not all who surrounds you mean well for you. That is why I strongly support the motion that says prayerfully choose your friends. Everyone reading this must have heard a sad story of how a so-called friend betrayed the other. It is worthy to have just one person to have your back than have twenty unfaithful friends.
✨Know your place in people’s lives. To avoid stories of woe, know your place. Try to define that friendship before you’re served breakfast, lunch and dinner all in a sitting. You may think the other person takes you as their best friend and you divulge all your life’s history while they only see you as an acquaintance. Oh! It can be so heart-rending and devastating: before you try to be intimate with anyone, test the waters. At least, before you put your leg into any river, you first check the depth? That’s what you should do before you commit to anybody.
✨Not everyone one is meant to be your friend. This point is totally different from the one I stated up there. I repeat, not everyone you come across is meant to have that title called “friendship”. Some just came as colleagues, acquaintances and helpers. While some came for a purpose and will leave after that, some came to stay, while some will come for a stipulated period of time, some will come and be there till death. The sooner you understood this, the better for you.
✨Cherish family. All others will desert you, but family still remains. Friends will go, in fact, best of friends will leave at a point, but family will be. It is true that we don’t have the privilege to choose the one we belong, but we sure have the wherewithal to make it better. Family comes after God, but comes before ministry. Growing up, I have learnt something from my daddy’s lips and it is “where am I going if I don’t carry my family along?” You cannot change your family, but you can make it sweeter.
✨ Expect less from humans. If you can sail through life with this, you do not have problem. Even the Bible says it is vain to put your trust in man. Man will fail you again and again without apology, so why go through these pains when you can simply lift your expectations from them and hand it over to God. It makes life easy after all.
✨Life will not always go as you plan. Many a times, people tend to map out their lives outside God’s plan and when things don’t go as they want, they begin to blame God; they fail to understand that He wasn’t initially in the plan. As I type this, I am vividly playing the sceneries of my early years where I said to myself that “by 25, I must be married…” Look at me today, 25 and counting, not married, happy and living life.
✨Never compare yourself with others. For your wellness, don’t do it. I did this a lot and it took a negative turn on me. I started being inferior, I had low self-esteem, I was angry at myself and at a point, God. It took lot of self-help and external contributions to break free. I am here today, I haven’t arrived, but God is leading me and backing me up. Choose to do life a free person, the onus lies on you.
✨Always appreciate yourself. No matter how little, appreciate yourself, cheer yourself on, you will discover that this singular act has an effect on your output. You have just finished a milestone, treat yourself to a nice meal, gift yourself what others won’t give you. I read a book recently and the writer talked about paying yourself monthly after receiving your salary or after you hit a business deal, you did the work and should be appreciated. Here’s to being more intentional about yourself.
✨ Always put God first. Above all else, honour God. This should have come first, but I chose to put it last. He’s God and will not share His glory with anybody, in whatever you do or say, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.
I hope these lessons were worthwhile?
You’ve got comments, contributions and reactions, let me know in the comment session.
SimplyRuth