There are worse things I could do.
"I could hurt someone like me, out of spite or jealousy. I dont steal and I dont lie!, but I can feel and I can cry; a fact I bet you never knew. But, to cry in front of you; thats the worst thing I could do."
everywhere
I feel so many different things now a days. Im older, in a committed relationship and what feels like real responsibilities. I have medical debt from a surgery I had recently. I had to have my appendix removed suddenly one night after an ER visit. During my surgery there was a complication: the lower portion of my lungs had collapsed. I was kept in the hospital for two more days and put on oxygen. I was finally released after 3 days and told to continue to do breathing exercises to get my lungs back to normal. When you don't have insurance they don't really care.
Bruno and I have been living together since April. We have now been together over 2 years. It has definitely been an adjustment. It hasn't been horrible but its been more about learning what is and what isn't worth fighting about. At first, that's a hard lesson to learn. You want to stand up for everything, you don't want to let go of your standards, but you realize that you can still very much be an individual while combining your life with someone else's. If you feel eachother are worth it you will work together to create a life that is both of yours but still have aspects of your own personality.
***I thought I lost this post in the middle of it. I wrote this months ago in June. I signed back in and it asked me if I wanted to retrieve my draft! So, it wasnt lost! :)
Bruno and I have been living together since April. We have now been together over 2 years. It has definitely been an adjustment. It hasn't been horrible but its been more about learning what is and what isn't worth fighting about. At first, that's a hard lesson to learn. You want to stand up for everything, you don't want to let go of your standards, but you realize that you can still very much be an individual while combining your life with someone else's. If you feel eachother are worth it you will work together to create a life that is both of yours but still have aspects of your own personality.
***I thought I lost this post in the middle of it. I wrote this months ago in June. I signed back in and it asked me if I wanted to retrieve my draft! So, it wasnt lost! :)
Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas....
Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! Joy to the World!
Peace on earth. Good will toward men.
(no subject)
Ive always felt like I have a pretty decent head on my shoulders and have been above average maturity, but looking back over some of my posts, I realize that a decent sized part of being young is trying to convince everyone that you truly believe the bull-shit youre spewing. Or maybe Ive just changed a lot more than I thought....
Judgemental people
I really hate how everyone looks down so much on people on unemployment or welfare. I just read someone's status that said, "Should people on welfare be allowed to own a pet?" First of all why are we tossing this word "allowed" around implying these people are unworthy of such things. As if they are some new obsolete species of human. It does not cost that much to take care of an animal; dog food is not that expensive, grooming you can do yourself, and the rest is love. Its not that complicated. Yes, once a year they need to get updated on their meds and vaccines, but even that allows a grace period. Not everyone on unemployment stays on it indefinitely. Is someone that has had the misfortune of losing their dog supposed to just kick it to the curb afterward? Another girl replied "Can they buy dog food with food stamps? I hope not." My response was "Why would that be a terrible thing if you could buy dog food with food stamps? Why is someone who has had the misfortune of losing their job no longer worthy of owning a pet, or keeping the one they already had? Not everyone collecting unemployment or welfare are drug consuming bums..." I can see an issue where someone didnt have a dog before and is on unemployment or welfare and then decides to get a dog; taking on another responsibility when they clearly have bigger problems to take care of, but even with that said they still have a RIGHT to own a dog. They still are members of society, and last I checked we live in a free country.
Another woman said she wanted food stamps modified and didnt want them contributing to the obesity of America, since with foodstamps you can pretty much get anything that is food; this includes candy and icecream etc. She didnt want those kind of foods to be allowed to be bought. Well, if you dont give a shit about these people, why do you care what they eat specifically? Also, I dont think most people who are on food stamps are going to spend the lot of it on candy. Whats wrong with enjoying food a little bit too if you can, and having some damn ice cream? I mean, my god.
It just disgusts me how people stereotype and look down on others. Not everyone on unemployment does drugs; not everyone on unemployment is a lazy bum. Some people honestly just lose their jobs and get laid off, and frankly Im glad unemployment is there if that ever happens to me.
Its so easy to judge those folks and bitch about your tax dollars until you are in that situation. I guarantee you if those people that bitch about their tax dollars being spent, and accuse people on unemployment of being lazy bums would feel very differently if they got laid off and then had to go stand in the unemployment line, never thinking they would end up there. I bet then they would appreciate that our government does that.
Another woman said she wanted food stamps modified and didnt want them contributing to the obesity of America, since with foodstamps you can pretty much get anything that is food; this includes candy and icecream etc. She didnt want those kind of foods to be allowed to be bought. Well, if you dont give a shit about these people, why do you care what they eat specifically? Also, I dont think most people who are on food stamps are going to spend the lot of it on candy. Whats wrong with enjoying food a little bit too if you can, and having some damn ice cream? I mean, my god.
It just disgusts me how people stereotype and look down on others. Not everyone on unemployment does drugs; not everyone on unemployment is a lazy bum. Some people honestly just lose their jobs and get laid off, and frankly Im glad unemployment is there if that ever happens to me.
Its so easy to judge those folks and bitch about your tax dollars until you are in that situation. I guarantee you if those people that bitch about their tax dollars being spent, and accuse people on unemployment of being lazy bums would feel very differently if they got laid off and then had to go stand in the unemployment line, never thinking they would end up there. I bet then they would appreciate that our government does that.
-
-
annoyed
-
Hey you! Yea, Im talking to you!!
Im not going to apologize for having a good time.
I feel sorry for people who have it in them to be mean.
I feel too happy to have black hair right now. Is it a vicious cycle to crave the unexpected?
I have learned in a whole new way this year that things can always get worse, but with a little help from your friends, (and I mean the real ones) you can still find some happiness in this world. I dont think people realize how precious it is to find someone that genuinely cares about you, and is a genuinely nice person. When you find that person hang on for dear life. Romantic or not. Too often have I realized that people were my friends simply because they had something to gain from it. (that could be alcohol, money, a place to stay, whatever)
Life never ceases to amaze me.
I am by no means on top of the world, but bc Im not on the bottom I feel as though I am.
I have learned so many lessons this year I could write a damn book. Maybe I will. It SUCKED learning them, but I came out alive and refreshed. I hesitate to say this but Im kind of glad I learned them now and not at 30.
I have a new appreciation for things now. I cant shake this feeling of....appreciation, optimism,fun, excitement.
I still have my bad days; by no means am I oozing care bears and glitter here. I still have stuff that bothers me, but thats just it. Its just stuff that bothers me. Its not stuff that rules me. Its not stuff that plagues my entire being. It also helps when certain bad tastes finally leave your mouth.
I really like talking in metaphors.
2011 better be prepared, bc Im going to be in charge this time!
I feel sorry for people who have it in them to be mean.
I feel too happy to have black hair right now. Is it a vicious cycle to crave the unexpected?
I have learned in a whole new way this year that things can always get worse, but with a little help from your friends, (and I mean the real ones) you can still find some happiness in this world. I dont think people realize how precious it is to find someone that genuinely cares about you, and is a genuinely nice person. When you find that person hang on for dear life. Romantic or not. Too often have I realized that people were my friends simply because they had something to gain from it. (that could be alcohol, money, a place to stay, whatever)
Life never ceases to amaze me.
I am by no means on top of the world, but bc Im not on the bottom I feel as though I am.
I have learned so many lessons this year I could write a damn book. Maybe I will. It SUCKED learning them, but I came out alive and refreshed. I hesitate to say this but Im kind of glad I learned them now and not at 30.
I have a new appreciation for things now. I cant shake this feeling of....appreciation, optimism,fun, excitement.
I still have my bad days; by no means am I oozing care bears and glitter here. I still have stuff that bothers me, but thats just it. Its just stuff that bothers me. Its not stuff that rules me. Its not stuff that plagues my entire being. It also helps when certain bad tastes finally leave your mouth.
I really like talking in metaphors.
2011 better be prepared, bc Im going to be in charge this time!
ooooo that smelll!
I saw this very hot, very "perfect" woman buy prescription strength deoderant the other day and it made me feel a little better. lol Like, "Oh, its not just the chubby women that sweat." I dont know, it was just a nice little comfort.
the vegetable in a bowl of fruit....
Facebook is depressing. All it is, is a sea of people from my past that are all in relationships and have these great jobs. Some of these people are even married and I just think how? What are these people doing that Im not? Some of these people seem to have gotten their good fortune on sale and I cant even find the damn place they sell it at.
Does anyone relate?
Does anyone relate?
If only...
Well its been a while. Thats what happens when you dont have internet. Luckily I recently became friends with my neighbor and he is letting me use his internet.
2010 has been a complete crapshute. Between the broken hearts, the lying friends, the loss of some good friends, the financial crisis, the unemployment, the betrayl, the just about anything awful you can think of that can happen to a person besides death or their house burning down has happened this year. I can not express enough how ready I am to be done with 2010.
I find myself wondering quite often when it will get better. Sometimes it seems the more hope I have for my life the more hope inturn gets takes away from me.
I have now become numb to most problems. I dont know how Im going to pay rent next month and for the first time all year this is not sending me into some huge crying fest. I just dont give a shit anymore. I mean Ill try to pay it ofcourse, but Im not going to constantly worry about it. Whats the point? Ill enjoy this afternoon reguardless of whether or I may or may not have a home next month. Its almost like a game now. Life just keeps throwing me all this bullshit and for a long time I was upset and constantly aching for a break and sobbing over various things. Now when something terrible happens, I just sigh, and think why not? Im just not surprised anymore when something terrible happens. I mean why should I be? This is the norm for me now it seems. Its almost like a "What else you got?" kinda thing? What else can you throw my way bc I know youve got a whole bag of tricks. Im just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I almost wish I could just erase 2010 from my mind. I cant think of anything about this year that I would want to hold onto. The one exception might be a few really good times I had with Heather and maybe Brian before we found out in the long run we would never work.
On another note being unemployed for as long as I have has put a fresh new ugly perspective on college for me. I quit college bc it really wasnt for me. There were many things I didnt like about it and for years I have been very comfortable with that decision; until now. I CAN NOT be living from paycheck to paycheck and be in and out of jobs when I am thirty. I cant be working in the mall when Im thirty. I want a real job.
Ive decided to become a funeral director. Its a two year program to get your morturary science degree. I figure I can survive two years of school if its something Im really interested in. I like it bc to me in encompasses a lot of things I like in life and in a job. Its psychological bc you listen to these people, you act as an objective listener and consoler. Its sales bc youre helping them arrange the funeral that they want and/or can afford. Its helping people in a time when they truly need some. Its a business that will never go out of business. Its laid back but also very professional. Ive looked into a lot and I think Id be good at it.
So my plan is this; 1. Get a job.
2. After aquiring said job, attain financial stability.
3. Look into colleges locally that offer morturary science.
4. Attend said college and get degree.
5. Graduate and start looking for a job in a funeral home in other states.
6. Get a job offer from some faraway place and get the hell up out of
Mobile, Alabama.
That last one I have slight less control over, but thats how Im hoping it will go. Im hoping that my funeral directors licencse will be my ticket out of here.
2010 has been a complete crapshute. Between the broken hearts, the lying friends, the loss of some good friends, the financial crisis, the unemployment, the betrayl, the just about anything awful you can think of that can happen to a person besides death or their house burning down has happened this year. I can not express enough how ready I am to be done with 2010.
I find myself wondering quite often when it will get better. Sometimes it seems the more hope I have for my life the more hope inturn gets takes away from me.
I have now become numb to most problems. I dont know how Im going to pay rent next month and for the first time all year this is not sending me into some huge crying fest. I just dont give a shit anymore. I mean Ill try to pay it ofcourse, but Im not going to constantly worry about it. Whats the point? Ill enjoy this afternoon reguardless of whether or I may or may not have a home next month. Its almost like a game now. Life just keeps throwing me all this bullshit and for a long time I was upset and constantly aching for a break and sobbing over various things. Now when something terrible happens, I just sigh, and think why not? Im just not surprised anymore when something terrible happens. I mean why should I be? This is the norm for me now it seems. Its almost like a "What else you got?" kinda thing? What else can you throw my way bc I know youve got a whole bag of tricks. Im just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I almost wish I could just erase 2010 from my mind. I cant think of anything about this year that I would want to hold onto. The one exception might be a few really good times I had with Heather and maybe Brian before we found out in the long run we would never work.
On another note being unemployed for as long as I have has put a fresh new ugly perspective on college for me. I quit college bc it really wasnt for me. There were many things I didnt like about it and for years I have been very comfortable with that decision; until now. I CAN NOT be living from paycheck to paycheck and be in and out of jobs when I am thirty. I cant be working in the mall when Im thirty. I want a real job.
Ive decided to become a funeral director. Its a two year program to get your morturary science degree. I figure I can survive two years of school if its something Im really interested in. I like it bc to me in encompasses a lot of things I like in life and in a job. Its psychological bc you listen to these people, you act as an objective listener and consoler. Its sales bc youre helping them arrange the funeral that they want and/or can afford. Its helping people in a time when they truly need some. Its a business that will never go out of business. Its laid back but also very professional. Ive looked into a lot and I think Id be good at it.
So my plan is this; 1. Get a job.
2. After aquiring said job, attain financial stability.
3. Look into colleges locally that offer morturary science.
4. Attend said college and get degree.
5. Graduate and start looking for a job in a funeral home in other states.
6. Get a job offer from some faraway place and get the hell up out of
Mobile, Alabama.
That last one I have slight less control over, but thats how Im hoping it will go. Im hoping that my funeral directors licencse will be my ticket out of here.
websites advice
What are some good websites to waste time on when browsing the internet? Im looking for things that are funny, web comics, some good reading, anything I can learn from, trivia. Id just like to know what some websites are that people go to daily. Maybe even some communities. Right now all I have are the obvious.