jedi

Star Wars : Legacy of the Force : Inferno

presenting yet another summary of the newest nerdtacular Star Wars fartbook

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

STAR WARS : LEGACY OF THE FORCE
Episode VI: Inferno

MARA JADE SKYWALKER is dead. The galaxy is entangled in the chaos of a civil war. JACEN SOLO, a tyrant who has taken over the Galactic Alliance and secretly styled himself DARTH CAEDUS, continues to battle against the secessionist Corellian Confederacy.

Queen Mother TENEL KA CHUME'DJO refuses to give Jacen control of the Hapes Consortium's fleets unless he forges peace with a bereaved and grieving LUKE SKYWALKER. But Luke's son and Jacen's apprentice, BEN, has his own suspicions--perhaps his mother was actually murdered by his own Master, and Jacen has been irrecoverably turned to the Sith.

Meanwhile, Jacen's twin JAINA cavorts around the galaxy with her two ex-boyfriends lust-toads, on the hunt for deranged darksider ALEMA RAR.

This is Anakin Skywalker's Legacy of the Force.

It is madness. But it is not Sparta.


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I really don't know why the word "madness" appeared so many times in this novel.


previous summaries:
Book One: Betrayal
Book Two: Bloodlines
Book Three: Tempest
Book Four: Exile
Book Five: Sacrifice
jedi

Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice

another snarkalicious summary of the latest Star Wars book.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

STAR WARS : LEGACY OF THE FORCE
Episode V: Sacrifice

War! Really. Again. In this galaxy, do they ever stop? The Corellian System has seceded from the Galactic Alliance. So it's kind of like the American Civil War, with JACEN SOLO as Abraham Lincoln trying to save the Union. That is, if Abraham Lincoln had lost all semblance of rational thought, joined the Sith, and apprenticed himself to his uncle's ex-girlfriend.

LUKE SKYWALKER's girlfriend from 35 years ago, now Dark Lady of the Sith LUMIYA, has returned from obscurity, threatening the well being of his wife, MARA JADE SKYWALKER, and their teenaged son, BEN--Jacen's young apprentice. Meanwhile, BOBA FETT, dying of cancer, is still coping with the fact that Jacen headdesked his daughter AILYN to death during an interrogation, while trying to cope with the travails of being a grandpappy.

This is Anakin Skywalker's Legacy of the Force.

It' the middle book of the series, so nonsensical poodoo predictably goes down.
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x-posted to roguereport
previous summaries:
Book One: Betrayal
Book Two: Bloodlines
Book Three: Tempest
Book Four: Exile
jedi

Star Wars: Legacy of the Force : Exile

spoilers as always, so read if you don't care, already know, or won't be reading this book any time soon anyway.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

STAR WARS: LEGACY OF THE FORCE
Episode IV: Exile

The galaxy is once again embroiled in civil war. That's not important. What's important is ME. That's right bitches, my name is JACEN SOLO. And I have hijacked the opening scroll of this snarky book summary. I'M SO DAMN AWESOME IT HURTS OMG LOOK AT MEEEEE! I'M SO HOT!
::BASH BASH BAM BAM SHUT UP JACEN::

ahem. Let me start over:

STAR WARS: LEGACY OF THE FORCE
Episode IV: Exile

The galaxy is once again embroiled in civil war, and HAN and LEIA SOLO are caught in the middle. Branded traitor by Galactic Alliance and Corellian Confederacy alike, their attempts to warn the Hapan Queen Mother of an assassination attempt only cast more suspicion on them and drew the ire of their son JACEN SOLO, who has a vested in her majesty's life--she is the mother of his illegitimate daughter. Jacen, corrupted by Dark Lady LUMIYA, chose to open fire on the Millennium Falcon, very nearly killing his parents and forcing them to run for their lives.

At the heart of the galaxy, teenager BEN SKYWALKER is under house arrest--part of his father's attempt to protect him from Jacen's insidious influence. JAINA SOLO, Jacen's twin, ponders her destiny as the Sword of the Jedi. And Chiss exile JAGGED FEL steps into the forefront, with a new hairstyle, an emo outlook, and fresh intelligence on how to take down one of the dark side's sexiest threats.

This is Anakin Skywalker's Legacy of the Force.

His grandchildren are idiots.

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previous summaries:
Book One: Betrayal
Book Two: Bloodlines
Book Three: Tempest
jedi

Star Wars: Legacy of the Force : Tempest

STAR WARS: LEGACY OF THE FORCE
Episode III: Tempest

The Corellian sector has seceded from the Galactic Alliance, dividing not only the galaxy but also the Skywalker and Solo families. The Hapes Consortium, ruled over by former Jedi Knight Queen Mother TENEL KA TA'DJO, is torn between it's sworn loyalty to the Alliance and partisan pressure within the matriarchy to support the Corellians.

HAN SOLO and his wife LEIA, members of the Corellian insurgency, are tasked by the Corellian government to bring Hapes to their side--even at the cost of the lives of Tenel Ka and her young daughter, Princess ALLANA. Meanwhile, the New Jedi Order led by LUKE SKYWALKER struggles to maintain peace while serving as an official part of the Alliance. And unbeknownst to his thirteen year old apprentice and cousin BEN SKYWALKER, war hero JACEN SOLO, desperate to find peace for the galaxy, has secretly apprenticed himself under Luke's ex-girlfriend, Dark Lady LUMIYA...

This is Anakin Skywalker's Legacy of the Force.

And it's apeshit crazy. With clunky dialogue.


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And as a bonus, the trailer/excerpt to the next book, Aaron Allston's EXILE

    Jacen: I should feel guilty. But I don't. Because I am a cold hearted bastard. I guess I feel guilty. About not feeling guilty.
    He has a dream that Leia blasts him out of the viewscreen of the ANAKIN SOLO.
    Jacen:OH GOD THIS EXISTENTIALISM IS KILLING ME!

    Kyp: Hi Mara. Hi Jaina. Why are you so cranky?
    Jaina: Her son...he...to my...hurt my mancandy.
    Mara: Will you shut up about it already?
    Kyp: Hey look guys I can lift a ship!

    Kyp: Check out my beautiful, longhaired tresses.
    Luke: Okay.
    Kyp: I'm getting laid and she doesn't mind my gray hair.
    Luke: Okay.
    Kyp: SHE LIKES IT LONG.
    ::cough cough::
    Luke: ::pouts::

    Random Dude: Hey Jacen. You look kind of old. And ugly. And Palpatine like.
    Jacen: Omigawd shut up I'm fabulous.
jedi

Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Bloodlines

A summary of Karen Traviss's Bloodlines.

spoilers as always, so read if you don't care, already know, or won't be reading this book any time soon anyway.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

STAR WARS: LEGACY OF THE FORCE
Episode II: Bloodlines

The galaxy is at the cusp of civil war. As always. This time, though, it's between the Corellian sector--led by Han Solo's jackass cousin Thrackan Sal-Solo--and the Galactic Alliance, a merger of the old Empire and the New Republic and watched over, as always, by Luke Skywalker's Jedi Order. The Solo-Skywalker clan is divided. It's native Corellian Han Solo (omg he's a Browncoat!) versus his Jedi family. Jacen Solo, in his love for learning, is moronically entertaining Sith-hood and planning to drag his impressionable cousin Ben along for the ride. And Luke Skywalker's ex-girlfriend Lumiyumyumya is back to muck around with everything.

This is Anakin Skywalker's Legacy of the Force.

And because it's a Traviss novel, there's gratuitous Mandolorian stuff.


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And as a bonus I provide you the summary to the excerpt for the upcoming book Tempest

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jedi

Star Wars: Dark Nest II The Unseen Queen

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away...

STAR WARS: DARK NEST
Episode II: The Unseen Queen

It is a dark time for the galaxy, because of these little buggies. ExJedi left for the dead Raynar Thul has decided to fashionably name himself UnuThul, and he has managed to convince his former Jedi buddies to join his hive of sex, drugs, and galactic control.


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