Hello whoever is going to read this. I never come here but I should. It can be a great outlet to express myself even if there's no one left to read it. Livejournal brings back so many memories of days gone by. It reminds me a lot of my friend who I miss dearly to this day. Kelly Ann Seager was her name. We met in an online game back in 1999 and it was her who introduced me to Livejournal. She's been married 3 times since we first met and has been through more than most experience in a lifetime. But she has always been strong, and I'm sure even though I haven't spoken to her or heard from her in years, she is doing well. I've always wished nothing but the best of happiness for her life. I loved her dearly.
It's been a tough road over these past several years...but me and my family are still going strong. A much needed vacation time awaits us in the forests of Arkansas. I desperately need it. I have important decisions to make and I can't think of a better place to contemplate the future and near future decisions than in a place like that.
Here's some of my poetry I've written over the years....
Clean The House
Clean the house, clean the house That is all I ever do; Pick up clothes, sweep the floors And dust the shutters too.
The pressures that so often come To make a house a home; Like wiping down the toilet seat And polishing the chrome;
Have put me in a tangled web Through miry sorts I plow; The dirt, the crumbs, the flattened grapes... Where is that vacuum now?
Found lots of money under cushions Gray and ever fading; I found enough to take a trip And hire a cleaning lady! ------------------------------------------------------- Deep Into Your Blue Eyes
As I stare into your blue eyes, I feel my heart beat, faster than I've ever felt it beat before. Just a simple look, a wink, a glance, is all I ever need, to bring out the love I have. . .for the lady I adore. My mind spins round and round and round again, falling deep under your spell; And I cannot hide my smile, let me sit with you. . .awhile. And gaze deep into your blue eyes, that captivates my soul, the radiance of your beauty holds me close to you. Your smile, your lips, your soft tender hands may send shivers down my spine; But it's staring deep into your blue eyes, that makes everything seem so right. And staring deep into your blue eyes, lost more and more inside your blue eyes, makes the whole world seem so bright. ------------------------------------------------------ This one is for Christmas:
Well...not many of the people on my friend's list are actually here anymore....I rarely get here. LJ use to be a hoppin' place but I guess like everything else has given way to more "modern" forms of social media. Glad it's still active so I can at least post...rant...rave...vent...chat...etc even if no one is here to read it...LOL...perhaps this will pop up on a Google search...you never know. A shout out in the wind to friends from long ago that will probably never know I am shouting to them...lol -- Kelly Seager, Callie Nowlin, Gena Hall, Sheryl Banister, Pamela Swanson, Christie Diamond, Alex Macey, Shannon Rollins, and on and on and on....
It's been a scorching summer here in Mississippi. I'll be soooo glad when fall is here! It's my favorite time of the year!
Wow...it's been a longggg time since I've been here on LJ! I was surprised it still was active! Life has been good...insane at times...frustrating...exhilarating...depressing...fun...hurtful...joyful....all a normal part of life. Hope everyone is more of the good than the bad in their lives....
All my life I have always been known to put a lot of stock and trust in my friends. Depending of course how close of a friendship I had with people, I would for the give a great deal of myself to them. Many of my closest friends, I would share a lot of personal information...family, secrets, hopes, dreams, etc.....of course this has always left me vulnerable, but my belief has always been that when you love somebody at any level of relationship, you should be willing to give your all towards them....be completely transparent and real....holding nothing back. I know that is not the philosophy of most, but it has always been of mine. Anything worth loving is worth risking for. I would give my life for my friends.
6 or 7 years ago, I was "taken to the cleaners" by someone I had considered one of my closest and dearest friends. I was lied to...deceived...ignored...treated like common garbage....someone I had trusted and invested a part of my life to had stabbed me in the back. As a result of all I went through, my life was changed dramatically...I found I could no longer trust people the way I use to. I kept myself very guarded and closed off from any possibility of vulnerability and hurt. The open, honest, and fun-loving people-person I use to be was scarred. I would start to make friends, then would shirk back and many that might have normally evolved into something deeper, just fizzled away. I had so much love to give to my friends, but I just couldn't out of fear....
Over the past few years, I have made great strides and some really great friends, and little by little, I have opened myself up to them....it has been a slow process....but a great deal of progress has been made. I think I am now at a point where I can finally trust again....I think there will always be a small part of me that will remain guarded....a small voice whispering "be careful"....they say "time heals all wounds".....not sure about the "all" part....but there has definitely been a healing that I've experienced. Is it possible that someone who is a close, special, loving friend to me now could eventually do the same thing? I think yes....there are some human beings that seem to have a bent on being uncaring and selfishly hurtful...perhaps because that's how they great up....perhaps because they themselves have had hurtful and abusive relationships in their past...who knows?.....but my choice was to either go off and hide for the rest of my life....closed off and guarded, or decide to live life to the fullest...making each day a new day count for something...a new day of adventure...which will involve investing in the people I love and care for....so I choose to invest!
I found some poems and quotes about friendship that I wrote several years ago here on LJ...thought I'd repost:
~ FRIENDS ~
As we walk our path of life, We meet people everyday. Most are simply met by chance. But, some are sent our way.
These become special friends Whose bond we can't explain; The ones who understand us And share our joy and pain.
Their love contains no boundaries. So, even we are apart. Their presence enhances us With a warmth felt in the heart.
This love becomes a passageway, When even the miles disappear. And so, these friends, God sends our way, Remain forever near. ------------------------------------------- FRIENDSHIP IS A PRICELESS GIFT
THAT CANNOT BE BOUGHT OR SOLD
BUT ITS VALUE IS FAR GREATER
THAN THE MOUNTAIN MADE OF GOLD
FOR GOLD IS COLD & LIFELESS
IT CAN NEITHER SEE NOR HEAR
& IN THE TIME OF TROUBLE
IT IS POWER LESS 2 CHEER--
IT HAS NO EARS 2 LISTEN
NOR HEART 2 UNDERSTAND
IT CANNOT BRING U CONFORT
OR REACH OUT A HELPING HAND
SO WHEN U ASK
GOD FOR A GIFT
BE THANKFUL IF HE SENDS
NOT DIAMONDS, PEARLS OR RICHES
BUT THE LOVE OF REAL TRUE FRIENDS ----------------------------------------------------- "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I would be at the bottom to catch them." - Anon
"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." - Anon
"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere." -Tim McGraw
"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." - Anon
"Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher."
Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it is a comfort to go hand in hand." ~Emily Kimbrough~
"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~
If you have one true friend, you have more than your share. ~Thomas Fuller~
“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.”
"Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart.”
"Promise you won't forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave." ~Winnie the Pooh~
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." ~Walter Winchell~
If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I would not follow, I would be at the bottom to catch them when they fall. ~Source Unknown~
"If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you know how extremely special you are." ~B.A. Billingsly~
"A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face."
I've been reflecting lately on the many characteristics of a true friend...a biggie that should be in all people that call themselves "friend" is HONESTY. It seems to be getting harder and harder to find in people these days...there are so many gamers and maniupulators out there who pretend to be your friend and go through some pretty convincing motions, but are as phony as the day is long! So, a song I really like that talks about honesty (there are many) is the following (enjoy):
Lately, I've been marveling at humanity in general...for the most part, people seem to be good and caring...some more than others...others I find lean toward the side of rude and crude...uncaring and unfeeling. Still others I see as spineless and gutless cowards who are too afraid to face people in confrontational, but necessary conversations. Yes, there definitely seems to be a vast array of individuals at large among us...all have a role in society whether for good or bad....I must admit however, I have run across a few individuals in my life that seem to emulate ALL aspects of what was mentioned above...which can be very disheartening...makes me wonder if folks like that will ever really be happy or have a decent life at all...eh well...all we can do is be the best we can be and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve...
I am at work at the moment....and as I stare out of my office window (I'm surrounded by nearly all glass), I see the rushing of boxes and cases and bundles of product down conveyors, around curves, up and over partitions.....I'm just amazed at all of this...it's almost hypnotic...I just wish I was happier here than I am. I am bored most of the time. The challenges are few, and the disasters experienced are riddled with insanties. But...it all continues...
