i don't want the world

issue number twelve.
$1.00 ppd by mail
$1.35 by paypal
1.8 ounces
34 half sized pages.
text and photographs.
photograph on cover found in an antique shop outside of Athens, Georgia.
summer/fall/winter (june - december) 2008.
Every issue of "she's so very..." deals with my life and often follows along in a diary like format. I continue in issue 12 with recurrent themes of sexuality, relationships, pregnancy fear and body image. I also write about the release of an LP, the death of JERK ALERT and our last tour; trying new things and planning for the future; building strong friendships and letting go of crappy friends; and of course my many celebrity and pop culture obsessions, including my discovery of Twilight, seeing the Toadies and Margaret Cho in the same weekend. I've also included an interview I did with Le Tigre back in 2000!
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http://www.myspace.com/shes_so_very

She's So Very... #11 winter/spring 2008
by Melissa Ann Cook riotgrrrrl
www.myspace.com/shes_so_very


The first time I read an issue of She's So Very... was all the way back in 2002? Holy fuck, is that possible? All I know is that I remember reading an issue in the house my parents lived in when we FIRST fucking moved to New Hampshire-- and that was a fucking long ass time ago. I was a whole different person- probably 19 or 20 (I just turned 28 so this was a while ago!). I was home sick from collage with a super bad virus and must have received an issue of She’s So Very via a trade or distro order. I picked it up & laid there, sick as a dog, reading melissa ann's zine on the couch. It was like reading her diary. She wrote about how she felt out of place in her family sometimes and about being in school for social work. I work in the social work field and remember feeling a connection to her instantly. Also feeling like she would probably not like me if we met in person, I never contacted her. What a shame to read someone’s zine and not tell them your thoughts? i am so guilty of that, but no more I say! soooo... i added her on livejournal like years and years ago but she was just someone on my friends list who I read but didn’t comment much cause I didn’t think she would have any idea who I was. One day we somehow connected. Ever since I have considered her a really good friend whom I have yet to meet in person. Though I hope that can change soon. I am so excited that she has continued to not only make zines but follow her passions and sing (she was the lead singer of Jerk Alert—I had her one the 2nd episode of zinecore radio so check it out). But she really puts her self out there and takes risks. Which brings me back to issue #11 of She’s So Very... I love how I have gotten to watch Melissa grow as a person in all area's of her life through reading her zines. This issue covers a lot of ground, really shows us what Melissa has been going through during 2008. Thinking about her relationship, sex, friendships that come and go, being an adult, trying to follow your creative passion despite struggles with self-esteem and mental illness. Trying to find compassion from your partner when you suffer from mental illness and they don’t understand why you just cant “get over it.” there is something in the zine for everyone to relate too. even though she is so relatable she is also very much a strong personality. she is her own woman, that is clear. so yeah, here i am YEARS fucking later sitting in a coffee shop reading issue #11. Melissa sent me this zine like months ago and i have been so all over the place i didn't have a chance to actually sit and devote time to reading it. I brought her words along with me for the afternoon.
Melissa: you did a fantastic job..after all these years your still putting your life on paper and the results are beautiful. i really fucking wanted to pull you out of the pages and have a discussion. you wrote something SOOOO damn similar to what i wrote in toxic shock girldom! i doggy eared the zine page so i wouldn't forget:
...I have dreams similar to this all the time., especially where i am exposing my pussy to the world and having lots of guys go down on me. Each one of them gets one chance.If they're good they get to stay and taste a little more. If they're bad they don't get any. Aye, I should go masturbate now. But it wont be in front of a window, real life is far too scary to be showing your pussy to just anyone. (page 19)
Melissa writes about how its weird to verbalize what she wants sexually while also expressing a discomfort sticking her fingers in her vagina (regarding getting an IUD). I find it wonderful & crucial when a girl can talk about what turns her on but also what makes her uncomfortable. we need to express what we don't want just as much as we need to express what we desire. It’s so important for more women to start verbalizing this stuff and fighting the bullshit mainstream porn-verse we live in that shows false ideas of what women "crave." We are not one sexual animal. We each have our own stink that gets us wet. I love seeing what makes us similar/different in this part of life.
Melissa takes this issue to many different rant style/journal entry places. She writes about traveling, singing in a punk band with her boyfriend, her love of tv shows like LOST and an interview with Ex Vivian.

Thank you Melissa for continuing to share your life with us. Keep it up grrrl! ALso, she does mention her & i hanging out in this issue and i really hope we can make that happen!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

let's all thank greg for finding, scanning and emailing this to me! yay!

so i found this through tobi vail's blog. it's a digital recording of a tape corin tucker did in 1993 with a project called Heartless Martin.

you can download it here!

i just downloaded it, haven't listened to it yet, but am pretty pumped!

yaaaaaaaaaay!

thanks for sending this to me greg!

http://beta.mon.thly.info/

it helps ya keep track of your cycles. very handy!

Wednesday 08/20/2008
Asbury Lanes - Ashbury Park, NJ
209 4TH AVE
Asbury Park, New Jersey


Thursday 08/21/2008
Death by Audio - Brooklyn, NY
49 S. 2nd st
Brooklyn, New York


Friday 08/22/2008
Clash Bar - Clifton, NJ
39 HARDING AVENUE
Clifton, New Jersey


i would love to see as many folks as possible at any of these shows! it's a great chance to see old friends in these areas that i haven't seen in a long time, or to meet LJ folks that i've never had the opportunity to meet before!

come rock out with me!

so i have to compile a "best of" from all my zines for the comp zine we are doing..... any ideas on what i should include?

what are some of your favorite parts of any of my zines?

any help would be GREATLY appreciated!!!

xoxo